Author Elizabeth Acevedo Is Doing It For The (Latinx) Culture By Empowering Through Literature
A good book can change the course of one's life, spark a whole movement, or transcend limitations of time, money, class, and location, and every power woman (even our favorite former First Lady, Michelle Obama) counts on a great read to keep them empowered and inspired.
Elizabeth Acevedo, a New York Times best-selling author, is one power woman who is on fire about using creative writing to empower communities, especially minority youths. Her debut novel, The Poet X, about a teenager named Xiomara who combats family issues through poetry, won the 2018 National Book Award for Young People's Literature.
"I write the stories I wish I had when I was younger. Growing up, there were so few books where I felt like I could see myself. I needed more images and stories that showed me different examples of the kind of girl that I could be."
Drawing from her experience as a Dominican-American woman, she's provided just that, and sis has some pretty dope receipts.The former 8th-grade teacher and University of Maryland professor has been honored with the Printz Award for Excellence in Young Adult Fiction, the CILIP Carnegie Medal, and the 2019 Pure Belpré Author Award for her work in celebrating Latinx culture and experience. Another fly it factor: She is a National Poetry Slam Champion, having spit rhymes that could make the best rapper's or wordsmith's head spin. One of her books, With the Fire on High, about a teen mom who has dreams of being a chef, was even recently a DC Public Library's virtual book club pick. Her books offer a window for Latinx youth to see themselves, evaluate their realities and build inclusive futures.
We caught up with her, in this xoNecole interview, to talk inspiration, why she rides hard for Latinx culture and voice, and how other aspiring writers can make a living using the art of language:
When did you know full-time writing was for you?
I was a touring poet years before my first book came out. I would go to colleges and high schools and do shows. My parents had no idea what I was doing. (Laughs) They were like, 'Oh, you don't have health benefits? You don't have a secure income? What are you doing? You went to all these amazing schools to be a poet?' And I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what I did. It was really hard for people to see the vision I had.
I wanted to make a life of language---a life where my stories and the stories that connect us was how I made a living. That was more important to me than a check, how big it would be, or whether I had a 401k.
Once the book came out, that changed things. Then you have a novel that's on The New York Times list and wins awards, and I think it really shook people up in terms of what the possibilities were. I think I always knew that there's a lot I can do with this if I just figure it out, but I don't know that everyone had that same belief at the time.
How has your work in education and community advocacy played a role in the stories you choose to write?
I've been in the space of youths or as a classroom-based teacher in some capacity for the past decade. It makes me mindful of how young people talk and the experience that they have.
The respect that I have for young readers comes out because of the fact that I meet so many amazing teenagers.
It just makes me aware [of the] readership and what that readership is able to handle. [New ideas can come] just talking with them. It could be something simple and it'll just spark something--what they had for lunch that day or their interaction with a teacher or another student. Little moments come up for me. I'll also talk with my mom and [a conversation might] make me think, 'Hey, this isn't a character trait I've seen before' or 'That would be interesting material in a novel.' I think I'm just open to what's happening around me and it means that I always have a list of ideas that I want to work on.
'Clap When You Land' is striking, especially if you're someone who travels often. What's behind the title?
There are certain countries in Latin America and even the continent of Africa, where, when you land, people applaud. It's usually people coming back home---you're from that place. There's so much joy in returning and in having survived the trip. Particularly for Dominicans, growing up, it was so beautiful to be on that flight returning to where your people are from. It's like we're all in that moment together---we're all just grateful together. It's really moving for me.
In 2001, there was a plane that crashed when traveling from New York City to the Dominican Republic. I was 12 years old and it completely shook me up. Hundreds of people trying to go back home was a moment that should've been full of joy, yet it was riddled with tragedy. I've always wanted to write about that experience.
So the phrase "clap when you land" and this horrible event that happened kind of started meshing together. What is the joy and bittersweetness in going back and forth, and in what way does that affect our lives? It's reflecting on that event but it's a very different kind of story of two sisters--one in the Dominican Republic and one in New York City--who don't know about each other until their father dies in a plane crash. It's about the secrets people keep and forgiving a parent after they're no longer here to be forgiven. How do you develop a relationship with a stranger you may have resentment toward and is there room for applause in any of that?
You still have a passion for poetry. How can others tap into a love for poetry or develop as poets?
I think it's a really exciting time for poetry. We're seeing more people from marginalized communities receiving a lot of attention for their work. It's incredible to see how many poets---of color, transgender, within the LGBT community---are able to have their work in the world. Because of social media, YouTube---there all these different ways you can consume poetry. I do so many school visits and I don't remember a poet ever coming to my school---ever.
Now, schools all over the country are using poetry videos in class, getting poet visits, or reading poetry collections---it's so exciting for me to see that. It feels like poetry is part of the narrative in people's lives, whether in the classroom or elsewhere.
Every year an article comes out that says poetry is dead, but I'm like, I don't know what poetry you consume. The poetry I live with is breathing! I feel good that The Nuyorican Poets Cafe is an incredible, historic place. The Bowery Poetry Club in New York is fantastic. Depending on where you're from, I would encourage you to look for whatever poetry community exists [where you are.] Throughout the country there are different programs---whether it's even a theater program that has a poetry component or maybe a creative writing program where you can work on verse.
What advice do you have for others who want to become full-time writers?
Keep working on honing your voice. Everything else can fall into place, but if you don't have the clear sense of what you're trying to say and how you're trying to say it so that it's uniquely you, you're going to get lost in the sauce. There are a lot of writers out there, and I think that what creates distinction between people's work is that very unique language and point of view.
Second, find a writer's group. I feel like folks want to look at [the] Internet and say, 'How do I do that,' and not consider that the community is a big part of it. I've always had a community around me since I was a kid---cyphers on my block, hanging out with the dudes on [the] corner, rapping---that was my first writer's group. When I went to high school, I joined a poetry club, and when I went to college, there were workshops. You want two or three people you can share your work with, who can give you feedback---who you trust.
Last, look for a mentor whose doing the same thing you want to do but they're one or two steps above where you are. Reach out to them. There's a lot to be said to someone who has carved a way and who can help school you on how to do things.
You can find out more about Elizabeth Acevedo, her books, and her work via her Website or her Instagram.
Featured Image courtesy of Instagram/acevedowrites
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Sex & The New Year: Single Women Get Candid About Their 2025 Intimacy Goals
Fail to plan, plan to fail. It is certainly a saying that all of us have heard at one point or another; however, when it comes to sex, specifically, and definitely when it comes to women who aren’t married or in a serious relationship, I’m not so sure that plans are encouraged as much as they probably should be. I don’t just mean planning to get tested with partners or planning to use birth control — hopefully, those things are a given (right?).
What I mean is, if you are someone who likes to sit down and come up with resolutions for the new year, when it comes to your sex life, what exactly are you resolving to do? What sex-related goals do you actually have? Because if you don’t know and you kind of just let life “happen to you,” the way you end 2025 may not be the way you planned…because there never was a plan in place.
All of this is why I decided to ask 10 single women to pause, ponder, and then produce a semi-formal sex plan that they would be willing to share with y’all. Although a few of them were taken aback by my request at first, by the time they gave me their answer, each woman found it to be something that they would be doing annually moving forward — because, like everything else in life, knowing what you want out of sex, for yourself, is essential. And you certainly increase your chances of getting what you desire…when there is a plan in place.
*Middle names are always used in these types of interview pieces so that individuals can speak freely*
1. Hannah. 28.
Giphy“Girl, my sex plan is to stop having sex with my ex-fiancé. When we broke off our engagement 16 months ago, I’m not sure if either of us thought that we’d keep having sex like we were still together. But who wants to keep racking up bodies or risking getting an STD? Plus, the sex with him? I have never had it so good and so consistent. But when you asked me about putting a ‘sex plan’ together, and I really thought about how our relationship has no future — I accept that I need to let that last part of us go. Otherwise, I could date someone and still be having sex with my ex. I’m not going to tell him [her ex] about my plan until after our date on New Year’s Eve. Don’t judge me. I’m a work in progress!”
Shellie here: Check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”
2. Alexie. 34.
Giphy“I’m gonna have me some multiple orgasms, dammit! I am so tired of reading about them and not being able to relate. I think women have been conditioned to think that even getting one is something that we should be grateful for — you know, kind of like that Salt-N-Pepa brag about getting knocked out for the night after one ‘shot.’ No ma’am. I wanna know what it’s like to cum, pause, cum again, pause, and cum again. I’m going to make that my mission for the entire year. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
Shellie here: Check out “How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile.”
3. Thalia. 27.
Giphy“I want to learn how to enjoy oral sex more — not giving, receiving. I’ve always liked the power that comes from giving a man head, but I haven’t met a guy who makes receiving it feel as good as my girlfriends talk about. Whenever it happens to me, I feel annoyed; it’s almost like a dog is licking on me or something. Everything just feels wet, sloppy, and aimless. I’ve got a guy friend who says that he can get me what I’m after. I’m considering him because I’ll be damned if I’m out here giving out all this good head, and I end up dying not knowing what everyone else is even talking about!”
Shellie here: Check out “Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?” and “Okay. So, This Is Why Oral Sex Is Probably Not Satisfying You (Fully).” and (just in case) “How To Preserve Your Friendship After BAD Casual Sex”
4. Icelynne. 30.
Giphy“‘Get over a man by getting under a different man’ is some bullsh-t. All you do is up your body count. The guy I’ve been seeing, the kissing is good but the sex isn’t that great, but I really like him. In the past, I would just move on, but now that you ask me to come up with a plan — I think the plan is to try and make sex better. You get older, and you realize that sometimes you ‘click’ immediately with someone, and sometimes, you need to be more patient. It’s not that the sex is bad, it’s just that I’m used to good sex being easier. Learning to talk about my needs and working with someone to meet them — that’s the plan for next year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Do You Lie About Your Body Count? Here's Why You Shouldn't.,” “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed” and “Is There REALLY Such A Thing As 'Bad Sex'?”
5. Gabriella. 45.
Giphy“I’m sick of reading about all of the different kinds of orgasms that you can have and barely knowing what a [clitoral] one feels like. If I can have a nipple orgasm, then I’m going to have one. And I can have one by myself? In my sleep? [Shellie here: Yes, sleep orgasms are an actual thing] And what’s this, you can come just from someone kissing you, right? What the f-ck?! I’m on mission to be able to say that I’ve had every type of orgasm there is. The interviewing process for this mission is about to be so funny, too. I already know.”
Shellie here: Check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”
6. Terrika. 33.
Giphy“I’m leaving faking orgasms in my rearview mirror. It doesn’t help anything. All it does is make men think that they’ve accomplished something that they haven’t and make me resent them for doing it. I hate to say it, but I’ve been acting like I’ve cum for so long that I can’t even remember the last time that I’ve had a real orgasm — oh, yes, I can, and it was two damn years ago! I think because I like sex, even if I don’t cum, is why I’ve put up with it for so long. I’m not getting any younger, and I need to make sure I end up with a man where I don’t have to do any pretending. 2025 is going to be my year. I am speaking it into existence!”
Shellie here: Check out “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” and “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”
7. Persephone. 38.
Giphy“I want to experience sexcations all over the world. I find it fascinating how much sex gets better for me whenever I’m in a new environment. If that can happen just with a different hotel or an Airbnb, I can only imagine what it would be like to make love in London, Cape Town, or Barcelona. It’s also sexy to get to know someone better in a different space. I met a guy [last year], and our connection is strong. We’ve been talking about stamping our passports together. We haven’t had sex yet. I think an international sexcation being our first time, would be perfect for the new year.”
Shellie here: Check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!” and “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”
8. Evelyn. 29.
Giphy“I want to know what ‘making love’ feels like. Is that weird to say? Coming into sex, I was what my friends say is a ‘late bloomer’ because I didn’t have sex until my junior year [of college]. It wasn’t random, but it wasn’t with a guy who I loved — well, I loved him as a friend and still do, but it wasn’t a romantic type of thing. I was curious and trusted him to try it out. I don’t regret that, but since, there have only been a few others, and the pattern has been the same: sex with friends and nothing mind-blowing. [In 2025], I want to wait until I’m in a serious relationship and then have sex. I keep hearing that love-making is the best. I have no clue. Would like to know.”
Shellie here: “Unforgettable: 10 Men Open Up About That 'One Experience' They'll Never Forget”
9. Tamiko. 41.
“I want to take a break [from sex]. During my marriage, we had so many sex problems that once we divorced, I definitely made up for lost time. It was mostly because I felt like I was being ‘sexually gaslit’ by my husband — like I couldn’t get the sex that I was after, and it was my fault. Now that I know that it wasn’t a ‘me problem,’ it was an ‘us issue,’ and I’ve gotten all of my ‘itches scratched,’ I’m ready to learn some other things that make me tick outside of the bedroom. I’m not necessarily declaring abstinence for a year, but I am done with my nothing-more-than-sex quest. Next time, it will be someone who gets me excited in more than just the bed.”
Shellie here: Check out “I've Been Abstinent For 12 Years. Here's How.” and “6 Genuine Signs You're Making An Emotional Connection With Your Sex Partner”
10. Lana. 51.
Giphy“My plan is to be more open-minded — not so much when it comes to my standards for a partner but the things that I’m willing to do sexually. I’m not the most conservative person on the planet, but when it’s always in the back of your mind that you can get pregnant, that can make you more cautious. I’m on the tail end of menopause now, so I suddenly feel more adventurous. With a steady sex partner, I’m ready to try whatever and do whatever. Sex that exceeds anything I’ve done before…that is my 2025 plan, girl. Let’s go!”
Shellie here: Check out “What Having Sex After Menopause Is Like, According To 10 Women”
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Featured image by Bob Thomas/Getty Images