This article is in partnership with Hallmark Channel's Countdown to Christmas.
As we move into the year of 2021, it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas… and a time for some self-reflection. We think about our professional accomplishments, how we have personally grown over time, and even the evolution of our love stories. Whether it was the one that got away, the unexpected soulmate, or even the successful self-love story that took root from heartache. We have all experienced these kinds of moments and it is inevitable to think of "what if" and how our lives would be different. If you have been feeling more reflective lately, what you are about to read next will definitely spark your interest. As a part of Hallmark Channel's Countdown to Christmas, the forthcoming film, Christmas Comes Twice, is all about a time for reflection and learning about the possibilities of how a love story could be.
Christmas Comes Twicepremieres this Sunday, December 13 at 8pm/7c. The film stars Tamera Mowry-Housley playing the lead role as Cheryl Jenkins and Michael Xavier playing her love interest, George. Cheryl (Mowry-Housley) is an astrophysicist who has achieved her career dreams but finds herself wishing she made different choices. When the Christmas carnival comes to town, a ride around the carousel takes her magically back in time to the carnival five years earlier, giving her a second chance at a life she didn't know she needed before she must return to Christmas present. Though she didnt' expect to fall for her then-"frenemy" George (Xavier), she finds herself falling for him and finding an unexpected love in the process. We are all the culmination of our choices. This film gives you the chance to travel back in time and answers that "what if" question I mentioned earlier.
I am sure that the "what if" question has popped up for this couple during this holiday season. xoNecole's Social Media Manager, Ashleigh Hardin-Jones, and her partner Adrian Goodman have been staying strong and supportive of one another throughout their 13-year relationship. These high school sweethearts didn't start off with the typical boy meets girl meet-cute, but you could only imagine if things did not happen the way they did, how things would be different for them.
In this installment of xoNecole's How We Met, we were able to talk with our social media manger and her accounting specialist partner on how their love story started and how they have grown more in love with each other over time.
How They Met
Adrian: The courtship happened by accidental purpose. A situation with Ashleigh and another guy, who we both had a class with, went sour. I was asked by the guy to figure out why since me and Ashleigh had classes together. At this time, I had known for a couple years that I liked Ashleigh but she was not interested in me. Even though I felt how I felt, I put my feelings aside to do what was asked of me. We would talk about the situation during school as I played messenger back and forth. Until one day, she gave me her number and told me to call her after school. I called that same day and during our first conversation, it switched from the task at hand to friends talking, then rapidly progressed from every conversation after that point. I think we both mutually initiated and agreed on how our relationship would progress.
Ashleigh: Like Adrian said, it was an accident that I never saw happening. I thank the guy who pissed me off though because there's no way we would be at this point without that situation going wrong. Sometimes a closed door leads to a beautiful beginning.
Courtesy of Ashleigh & Adrian
Making It Official
Ashleigh: My attraction to Adrian developed over the course of a month. So I actually wasn't sure right away. I knew I liked him and I knew we had so much in common. But I was still undecided. But there was an incident where my ex called him cursing him out and telling him things about me that were untrue and I just remember being so scared that he would never talk to me again. I was in tears. That was the moment I knew I really wanted to be with him.
Adrian: After getting to know her better, it was a no-brainer for me to commit to a relationship. We have a lot in common and it made the decision easier. This happened during our 12th grade year in high school.
The "L" Word
Ashleigh: We got into an argument our freshman year of college that caused him to storm out of my dorm room. He was pissed! He's such a nice quiet guy that it's rare to see him really angry like that (I've only seen it two other times in the 13 years I've known him). I sat on my bed contemplating whether or not I cared and out of nowhere I started having what I now know is a panic attack and I burst into tears. I hopped up and ran down five flights of stairs, and out of my dorm building down the street to a bus stop where he was waiting on the bus. I was out of breath and was telling him I was so sorry. After we hugged it out and he apologized too, we realized I had no shoes on. That was love because running outside with no shoes is a no for me.
Adrian: It was this unexplainable feeling that I had never felt before. I was always thinking about her and considering how everything I did may impact her.
"It was this unexplainable feeling that I had never felt before. I was always thinking about her and considering how everything I did may impact her."
Love Lessons
Ashleigh: I've learned how to be self-less. This journey with him has taught me that love does not come with conditions. You have to be willing to compromise, not only for the sake of the other person but for the success of the relationship as a whole. I have also learned that while receiving compliments from your partner is extremely important, the greatest compliment comes from yourself. I spent so much time growing up looking for other people, specifically men, to fill my cup but loving him has taught me that if I don't fill my own cup first — it will always be half-empty.
Adrian: I learned that the way you love is not a one size fits all but more of a unique tailored experience. I had to learn to let go of things that may have worked for my parents that may not work for us and also sometimes to do more than my parents may or may not have done. It's OK to treat yourself and not feel guilty about it. I used to think once we became one that we had to do everything together. It's OK for each of us to have time to ourselves or our own hobbies.
"This journey with him has taught me that love does not come with conditions. You have to be willing to compromise, not only for the sake of the other person but for the success of the relationship as a whole. I spent so much time growing up looking for other people, specifically men, to fill my cup but loving him has taught me that if I don't fill my own cup first — it will always be half-empty."
Love Challenges
Ashleigh: Together, I believe our biggest challenge is overcoming my infidelity. It happened years ago but it still lingers because I broke the trust he had in me. Trying to win back trust is one of the hardest things because it's not an easy fix, there's no guidebook or tips on how to make someone feel secure — so you have to have patience and hope that they will trust you to not break their heart again.
Adrian: My biggest challenge independently is being more emotionally present and available. It has been the hardest thing since I have been programmed for years to not show any emotions. The biggest challenge together has been both having a child a little over a year into our relationship and infidelity not on my part. Having a child that early was not in our plan but we both managed to graduate from college. The infidelity piece is still hard for me because I do not feel that the problems we were having in our relationship at that time warranted this response. I wouldn't have taken this route. I do understand it's not for me to decide how someone will react in certain situations and that is why it has been challenging. We are in a better place and working towards a common goal.
Baggage Claim
Ashleigh: I had a lot of baggage from my past. In the beginning, I spent a lot of time blaming him because of my trauma. I realized that he wasn't my ex and I was being unfair by assuming that all men are the same. My weakness coming into this relationship was bad financial habits. My parents talked about finances but not the bad side of it when it came to bills and debt so I wasn't as knowledgeable as he was. He's truly helped me become less of a spender and more of a saver. As young parents, we struggled financially which helped me realize the difference between wants and needs.
Adrian: I didn't really have any baggage so I had to understand sometimes I triggered things from her past unintentionally. We would have conversations and talk through any baggage issues. One thing I had to unlearn is enough is enough. There is never enough and I can always do more.
Courtesy of Ashleigh & Adrian
"One thing I had to unlearn is enough is enough. There is never enough and I can always do more."
The Sweetest Thing
Ashleigh: I believe our views on family and tradition are in sync. We both have the same ideas when it comes to what those are and what we want them to be. I also love how honest and loyal he is. It's extremely difficult to find a man who will always tell you the truth and stay committed to just you. Adrian's my needle in a haystack.
Adrian: We both value and respect each other's opinions and supporting each other professionally. I love how considerate she is.
Christmas Cheer
Ashleigh: I love decorating Christmas trees and a few years ago we started going to Christmas tree farms to cut our own. I always look forward to it.
Adrian: I really enjoy our new tradition of selecting and cutting down our Christmas tree.
'Tis The Season
Ashleigh: Favorite gift I've received so far from him has been this Caroline Herrera perfume I wanted. I collect perfumes and I'd been eyeing it for a while so I was super excited to receive it. My greatest gift I've given is buying him tickets to the Atlanta Falcons game. He's a ride or die fan so I surprised him a couple of years ago with tickets and a jacket. He was shocked.
Adrian: My favorite gift that I have given has to be a Viktor Rolf Flowerbomb gift set and some Victoria Secret items (I drove all the way to Orlando, FL to get to Savannah, GA from Tallahassee, FL). My favorite gift that I have received was a surprise trip to an Atlanta Falcons game in Atlanta and luckily the Falcons won that day so it made it that much more special.
Follow Ashleigh on Instagram @musiq.leigh.
Don't forget to watch the premiere of Christmas Comes Twice on Hallmark Channel this Sunday 12/13 at 8pm/7c!
Featured image courtesy of Ashleigh and Adrian
'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Have you ever seen a movie that captures the nuances and complexities of Black love in such an authentic and captivating manner that you immediately feel compelled to add it to your favorites list? Witnessing the portrayal of our culture in a way that authentically represents our experiences on the big screen creates a sense of warmth and resonance deep within me.
As we cozy up in our pajamas and spend more time on the sofa, we can’t help but think about the go-to classics that get the job done every time. Like the way Darius looked at Nina or the way Sidney looked out for Dre, the Black love stories just feel good for the soul.
Keep reading for our top films that offer unique takes on love, culture, and connection, reflecting diverse Black experiences across time, place, and circumstance.
1.Love & Basketball (2000)
This classic tells the story of childhood friends and basketball enthusiasts Monica and Quincy, whose relationship evolves into romance as they pursue professional sports careers. Their journey reflects the highs and lows of balancing love with ambition. It’s a film that resonates with anyone who’s ever had to choose between passion and love. It’s low-key every millennial Black girl’s favorite movie.
2.Brown Sugar (2002)
Sidney and Dre share a deep-rooted love for hip-hop and each other, but neither realizes it until life's twists pull them apart. This heartfelt movie explores how passion for music can intertwine with matters of the heart. The chemistry between Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs is magnetic, adding a playful yet poignant layer to the story. As a writer and lover of music, I just connected with this film on so many levels.
3.The Best Man (1999)
In this romantic dramedy, a group of college friends reunites for a wedding, only to have secrets from the past unravel among them. The dynamics are both humorous and heartfelt, exploring themes of love, loyalty, and forgiveness. This film set the stage for the iconic sequel, The Best Man Holiday and The Best Man: Final Chapters. The way this friend group showed up for each other in all the ways always is why we stan The Best Man.
4.Poetic Justice (1993)
Chewing Gum Flirt GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyStarring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur, this road-trip romance follows Justice, a poet grieving her lost love, as she slowly opens her heart again. Set against a gritty South Central L.A. backdrop, the film is a beautiful blend of resilience, vulnerability, and romance. Maya Angelou’s poetry adds a soulful touch. To this day, the pair serves as a perfect couple’s costume.
5.Love Jones (1997)
“I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right.” In this cult favorite, Darius and Nina’s relationship unfolds in the heart of Chicago’s spoken-word scene. Their on-and-off romance explores themes of love, trust, and vulnerability in an artistically vibrant way. With its soulful soundtrack and poetic dialogue, Love Jones remains a touchstone for Black romantic cinema.
6.Think Like a Man (2012)
Based on Steve Harvey’s book, this ensemble comedy follows four couples whose love lives get upended when the women try to outsmart the men using Harvey's dating advice. The film’s witty dialogue and relatable characters make it a fun exploration of modern relationships. Its star-studded cast, featuring stars like Michael Ealy, Kevin Hart, and Taraji P. Henson, is a highlight.
7.Boomerang (1992)
This rom-com stars Eddie Murphy as a suave ad exec whose womanizing ways are challenged when he meets his match in Robin Givens. The film playfully addresses gender roles, power dynamics, and true love. With an iconic soundtrack and supporting roles by Halle Berry and Martin Lawrence, it’s a must-watch. This is one of the only films that had me like, “Damn, Eddie Murphy was actually fine!?”
8.Beyond the Lights (2014)
Pop star Noni and police officer Kaz come from two very different worlds but connect over their search for identity and purpose. This movie dives into the pressures of fame, mental health, and self-worth, set against a beautifully shot romance. Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s performance as Noni is utterly captivating.
9.Just Wright (2010)
Queen Latifah stars as a physical therapist who falls for her NBA client (Common), only to realize he's infatuated with her friend. This charming movie combines themes of self-confidence, unrequited love, and second chances. It’s a feel-good story with a refreshing message about inner beauty.
10.Jason's Lyric (1994)
Set in Houston, this intense love story between Jason and Lyric offers a poetic take on love amidst the trauma and violence of their pasts. It’s a powerful tale of hope and healing, underscored by a fantastic soundtrack. Jada Pinkett Smith and Allen Payne bring raw emotion to their roles.
11.The Photograph (2020)
Mae, a museum curator, unravels her mother's love story while grappling with her feelings for journalist Michael. This movie elegantly contrasts generational love stories, exploring how family history impacts our romantic choices. With Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield, it’s an intimate, visually stunning journey.
12.Waiting to Exhale (1995)
Four friends navigate love, heartbreak, and betrayal in this classic adaptation of Terry McMillan's novel. The movie, starring Angela Bassett and Whitney Houston, resonates with audiences for its honest depiction of complex relationships. It’s a celebration of friendship and resilience amid romantic ups and downs.
13.Sylvie’s Love (2020)
Set in 1950s Harlem, this visually lush romance follows Sylvie and Robert, who connect over a love of jazz but face challenges due to societal pressures. Their love story captures the nostalgic elegance of old Hollywood cinema while addressing race and ambition. Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha deliver memorable performances.
14.How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
Stella, a successful businesswoman, finds romance with a younger man while on vacation in Jamaica, rediscovering herself in the process. This film is a lighthearted yet empowering take on self-love and embracing change. Angela Bassett’s chemistry with Taye Diggs makes it unforgettable.
15.The Wood (1999)
This nostalgic film weaves between the past and present as three childhood friends reflect on their lives and loves before one of them gets married. Set in Inglewood, California, it’s a heartwarming story about friendship, first love, and coming of age. With plenty of humor and sentiment, it’s relatable and timeless.
16.Two Can Play That Game (2001)
Vivica A. Fox stars as a confident woman who devises a plan to keep her boyfriend (Morris Chestnut) in check, but her scheme quickly backfires. This film humorously explores gender dynamics and dating games, with clever insights into relationships. It’s a playful reminder that love doesn’t follow a script.
17.Moonlight (2016)
This Oscar-winning film follows Chiron's journey of self-discovery and his struggle to understand his sexuality and identity. Though not a traditional romance, Moonlight deeply explores love, identity, and acceptance in powerful, poetic ways. It’s visually and emotionally stunning, resonating with audiences worldwide.
18.Something New (2006)
This romantic comedy explores love across racial boundaries, as high-powered Black lawyer Kenya finds herself unexpectedly falling for her white gardener. It’s a thoughtful exploration of love, race, and societal expectations. Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker’s chemistry makes it both charming and impactful.
19.Deliver Us from Eva (2003)
Eva’s controlling nature makes her sisters’ boyfriends hire a man to distract her, only for him to fall in love with her. This rom-com is full of humor and charm, exploring love’s unpredictability. Gabrielle Union shines as the headstrong, no-nonsense Eva, with LL Cool J adding warmth as her love interest.
20.Hitch (2005)
Hitch, a film starring Will Smith, portrays Black men as romantic partners, challenging stereotypes. It explores interracial relationships and contributes to a diverse representation of Black love in mainstream cinema. It’s one of those movies you can watch over and over because it’s hilarious and authentic. The storytelling is just too good.
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Featured image Waiting to Exhale/Gif