"I give up."
"I can’t do this anymore."
We have all had those moments when it seems as if our backs have literally been backed against the wall. We don’t know which way to turn and we surely don’t know who we can turn to. During these times, the easiest thing we can do is simply throw in the towel and wallow in a pit of our own despair.
Maybe you’re in that moment now. Maybe even as you read this, you are contemplating throwing in the towel but in the stillness of this moment, pause. You don’t have to give up now. Not yet.
Recently, R&B singer Ashanti made a week-long appearance on the hit television show “The Real” and gave her account about a moment that changed her life forever. While in the prime of her career she was contacted by the Make a Wish Foundation which grants the wishes of children with life-threatening illnesses. They had a young girl by the name of Christina who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and wanted to meet Ashanti as her last and final wish. Despite her chaotic schedule, Ashanti realized the importance of granting someone’s last and final wish and welcomed Christina with open arms:
“My mom and I flew out to Seattle. We rented this huge hotel suite for her and her mom and her best friend. I got her a limo and went to her house and surprised her. We ate dinner. I bought her this awesome, cute Tiffany’s bracelet and I had her name engraved in it. And I sat and hung out with her the whole day…It was a surreal moment to be able to touch someone I didn’t even know”
Two years ago, (which made it ten years since Ashanti had visited Christina), Ashanti received the amazing news from Christina herself that she had gone into remission. On the show, as Ashanti fought back tears retelling the story of their encounter, she burst into tears as Christina surprised her by walking onto the stage.
A walking miracle and a reminder that you can’t give up, at least not now.
As I fought back tears during Ashanti’s reunion with Christina, I couldn’t help but wonder, what if Christina had given up in the middle of her fight with cancer? What if she had listened to the diagnosis from the doctors that her life would soon be over? Most importantly, what if she had aborted her own destiny by taking her own life? Thankfully, we’ll never know the answer to those questions.
I remember as a child, one of my favorite movies was Finding Nemo. There was a scene in the movie when Dory gives some of the best advice I have ever heard in my life (yes, I get amazing advice from Disney Movies) that says: “When life gets you down, do you wanna know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming.”
Christina kept swimming.
I’m not sure if she kept swimming because Ashanti granted her wish or if there was a stillness inside of her that also lies in each one of us that whispers, “No, not yet”. Whatever the case may be, she’s still here and you are too.
You may not be facing terminal cancer or any terminal illness for that matter but perhaps you are facing a moment in time that you feel as if you can’t keep going, you can. Doctors and scientific research told Christina that her life was over but when everything she knew to be true walked out, her faith stepped in.
Maybe you can’t relate to Christina’s journey, but we can all learn a lesson or two from Ashanti and that is to be kind to everyone, you never know if your one small gesture has the capacity to change someone’s life, forever.
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Check out the video below, grab some tissue and know your help is on the way!
RELATED
Now, when you go to the hair store you are inundated with all kinds of hair textures, colors, and more. That’s why it was so upsetting to read the latest report about synthetic braiding hair.
Delmaine Donson/ Getty Images
A Feb 27 Consumer Reports article revealed that most popular synthetic hair brands that are used for braiding have dangerous chemicals such as carcinogens, lead and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The report stated that 10 of the brands were tested and all 10 had these chemicals. These brands included Shake-N-Go, Sassy Collection, and Sensationnel.
These chemicals include benzene, which is a carcinogen that has been linked to acute myeloid leukemia and unsafe levels of lead, which can cause kidney damage, brain damage, and cardiovascular problems in adults.
In children, it can cause brain and nervous system damage, learning disabilities, behavioral problems and even developmental delays.
James E. Rogers, PhD, director and head of product safety testing led the testing for synthetic braiding hair. “Our exposure and risk analysis found all nine products could expose a regular user of any of these products to a level of lead that could be concerning over time,” he said.
As shocking as this is, it also brought some clarity around why I’ve had issues with wearing braiding hair as of late.
Not only have I dealt with scalp irritation, I’ve even had breakouts on my back from the hair touching. Since then, I’ve started rinsing the hair with apple cider vinegar, and haven’t had that many issues. However, the report stated that ACV isn’t a “cure-all” and can potentially release harmful chemicals when rinsing the hair.
@javonford16 Replying to @Julianna Rebundle vid: @Javon Ford Beauty #blackhairstyles #braidinghair #blackgirlhairstyles @Consumer Reports
While the report sparked some outrage, chemist Javon Ford has a different view. In a TikTok video, he shared that the report was tested for oral exposure and not dermal exposure.
He showed a screenshot of an email he allegedly sent Consumer Reports questioning their decision to test this way. The email said, “the best model to use, in our view, is the ingestion model for the reasons given in the article.”
“While I understand they went with that model, I don’t agree with it because you’re not intentionally ingesting braids,” Javon said. The chemist also said that the amount of chemicals found in the brands is “conservative” compared to other types of products.
So what does this mean for us braid-wearers? If you still want to wear braids, but have some concerns, you can limit how often you wear them. Another option is wearing non-toxic braiding hair or plant-based hair. The only downside is that it's pricier than synthetic hair.
The Consumer Report also suggested checking for recalls, reading labels carefully, and reporting adverse effects. Hair isn’t regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, so it’s best to do your research when making purchases.
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Feature image by AzmanL/ Getty Images