
Nelly And Ashanti Confirm Rekindled Romance: Here's A Timeline Of Their Love

**UpdateAshanti gave birth to a baby boy on July 18, 2024 (Scroll down for more info).
Update: Nelly and Ashanti just confirmed that they are expecting and engaged. The singer shared an Instagram video confirming the news in the cutest way. She captioned it, “Baby Baby Baby…. ❤️🙏🏽😆.”
The beloved couple first sparked pregnancy rumors over the weekend during the "Dilemma" artist's Black and White Ball. The two were onstage when the R&B songstress touched her stomach. Nelly then placed his hand on her stomach, and they both laughed. According to Us Weekly, a source confirmed that they were indeed expecting their first child together.
It's official! Nelly finally confirms that he and Ashanti have rekindled their romance. The "Country Grammar" rapper sat down with Love and Hip Hop Atlanta stars Rasheeda and Kirk Frost on Boss Moves with Rasheeda and revealed the news (although this comes as no surprise to many of us who've heard the rumors.) "Yeah, we cool again. I think it surprised both of us, though," he said, smiling. "It wasn't anything that was like, I don't think planned. I think we both was pretty much doing what we do, but sometimes, being separate, you understand one another more.
He continued, "You can be like, well, yo, let me see exactly what they see, you know, 'cause we all can be defensive sometimes in our own relationships. We know we wrong, but we gonna stand on it, but we all are victim to that." When Rasheeda asked him if it felt good to get back with the "Baby" singer, he replied, "Yeah."
"I mean because it's no pressure. Before, I feel like both of us are doing what we doing career-wise, and when you got so many people in the middle of it, it could be tough," he said.
After the news came out, Ashanti later hit the 2023 VMA's red carpet wearing a clutch with a picture of the couple plastered on it, and it was giving "my man, my man, my man." However, she told ETthat the photo on her clutch was taken at the 2003 VMA's 20 years ago. We love a full-circle moment.
Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images
Rumors of the couple rekindling their relationship started in December 2021 when they performed their song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert. From there, they were spotted together many more times, further fueling the rumors. The couple has a long history together filled with beautiful moments that make them one of the most beloved celebrity couples in music. Here's a look back on their love:
Ashanti and Nelly Complete Relationship Timeline
2003: Nelly and Ashanti Meet
Photo by Evan Agostini/Getty Images
Nelly and Ashanti meet for the first time at the Grammy Awards press conference in 2003. In a 2011 episode of VH1's Behind the Music, the "Foolish" singer reflected on that moment. “The first time I met Nelly, he asked me for my autograph, but I think he was being sarcastic, and I remember writing it down on the program,” she recalled. “That picture has been in so many publications as something else, but it all started out as a joke. For the record, it took him a long time to get my number.”
Nelly and Ashanti Begin Dating
However, it wasn't long after meeting that the two reportedly began dating.
2008: Ashanti Teases Future Engagement to Nelly
The couple kept their relationship relatively private. However, Ashanti did give some insight into their future plans. In an interview with People, the Grammy award-winning artist teased a possible engagement. “Oh no. Noooo! No engagement.” she said while responding to rumors of an upcoming wedding, “But definitely in the future. Ha! Ha!”
Nelly and Ashanti Collaborate on Music
Photo by Thomas Gannam/WireImage
Nelly and Ashanti collaborated on the song "Body On Me," and the "Dilemma" rapper also starred in the singer's video for "Good Good."
2010: Nelly Explains Why He Isn't Ready for Marriage
In an interview with Rap-Up TV, Nelly revealed why he has yet to propose to Ashanti. “I don’t know, right now we’re just friends,” he said. “I’m married to my work. I’m married to getting things into a certain situation. She’s married to getting things into a certain situation right now.”
He concluded, “We enjoy each other’s company. We love it.”
2013: Nelly and Ashanti Break Up
In 2013, the couple reportedly split after a decade together.
2014: Ashanti Calls Nelly Her First Real Love
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Talking to Sway in the Morning, Ashanti revealed that Nelly was her "first true love."
Nelly Begins Dating Shantel Jackson
That same year, Nelly began dating Shantel Jackson.
2015: Ashanti Said Nelly 'Betrayed' Her
Ashanti opened up about her breakup with the diamond-selling artist on The Meredith Vieira Show. “I think sometimes when people have their own insecurities, it allows them to act out of character,” she said. “I’ve been betrayed.”
She continued, “And I feel like, again, you just have to grow. You have to grow up and accept responsibility for the things that you do. I’m not a big fan of people being cowards. I think it’s really important to know yourself and understand what you want and get it. I’m in a different place right now.”
2021: Nelly and Shantel Split Up
Shantel confirmed that she and Nelly broke up while replying to a fan on Instagram. "No we're not ….. Just friends," she said after being asked if they were still together.
Nelly and Ashanti's Verzuz Hug Goes Viral
Photo by Johnny Nunez/WireImage
In September 2021, the then-former couple made headlines when Nelly walked across the stage to hug Ashanti during Fat Joe and Ja Rule's Verzuz, which had fans hopeful for a reconciliation. Later, in an interview with Angie Martinez, the artist who is featured in the Guinness World Records book,revealed how she felt seeing him.
"It was very unexpected. I hadn't seen him in like six years or more. Spoken or seen," she said. "It was a little awkward." However, she said she wore "the perfect ex outfit."
Ashanti Denies Dating Flo Rida and Explains Why She Likes to Keep Her Love Life Private
During her December 2021 The Breakfast Club appearance, Ashanti cleared up rumors that she was dating rapper Flo Rida after photos of them vacationing together made their rounds on social media. "That's my brother. Me and Flo are super cool," she said.
She continued, "We've been going to each other's birthday parties for ten years, so I don't know why it's such a surprise now." The "Only U" artist also opened up about why she likes to keep her love life private. "I have never in my life posted a dude that I'm dealing with, ever. I mean, maybe Nelly on the fly or something like that. Like 100 years ago, but nothing like, 'oh, we're together, never." I like to keep things private.
"I like to be super low especially until things are like solid, solid," she explained. "There are at least two people super heavy in the industry, we dated and we never posted."
Nelly and Ashanti Perform Together
The two performed their hit song "Body On Me" together during Power 98.3 and 96.1's Under the Mistletoe concert in Arizona, thus sparking dating rumors.
February 2023: Nelly Addresses Ashanti Dating Rumors

Photo by John Sciulli/WireImage
Nelly opened up about his friendship with Ashanti in a February interview with Entertainment Tonight. "Time does wonders for a lot of different things, and time is one those things that allows you time to reflect on what's what, and you get a chance to see things in a different light and see your faults," he said. "So I think we both did that, and it's cool that we just friends."
April 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Reunite Again
In April, the "Body On Me" collaborators further fueled rumors of them dating again after they were spotted holding hands at the Gervonta Davis vs. Ryan Garcia fight. And in May 2023, they shared another steamy performance at the Palms Casino Resort during the singer's show with Ja Rule.
June 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Wear Matching Outfits
The following month, Nelly and Ashanti attended Pierre "P" Thomas' birthday party wearing matching outfits.
August 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Share a Video Singing Together
The couple posted a video of them singing to Usher's 1998 hit "Nice & Slow."
September 2023: Nelly and Ashanti Confirm They're Back Together
Let's hope they make the second time around count.
December 2023
The couple are reportedly expecting their first child together.
August 2024: Ashanti Gives Birth
Congratulations are in order as Ashanti revealed her postpartum body after giving birth to a baby boy with Nelly. In the video, she shared that she had the baby four weeks ago. "Four weeks postpartum. You have no idea what this body can do," she said. Their son's name is Kareem Kenkaide Haynes. Kenkaide is Ashanti's father's name.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
London Alexaundria is the contributing editor for xoNecole. She is an alum of Clark Atlanta University, where she majored in Mass Media Arts and has worked in journalism for over ten years. You can follow her on Instagram and TikTok @theselfcarewriter
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Black Women, You Deserve More: How Over-Giving Is Holding You Back In Love & Life
As a Black woman who has been conditioned to over-extend, overgive, and carry the weight of everyone else, I am going to hold your hand when I say this: Putting yourself first is no longer an option, it's the only option, sis.
In a world that demands our self-sacrifice, expects us to bend until we break, and labels us “strong” so we never dare complain or grow weary as we lift others ahead of ourselves, the journey to living authentically and prioritizing our own needs can feel radical. We’re taught to prove our worth through resilience and endurance, but at what cost? Too often, that cost is losing ourselves in roles that don’t truly honor who we are or what we truly need. And that is far too expensive of a cost.
I know this for a fact because a lot of my healing journey has involved unlearning what I learned about love as a child and unpacking the rhetoric around what Black women are expected to be for everyone, even if it's a danger to ourselves. I realized I was tired not because of life or the people around me but because of the things I was passively choosing for myself by not choosing myself.
Living more authentically has meant unlearning the belief that love is earned through over-giving and people-pleasing. It has meant learning how to advocate for myself even in discomfort in order to advocate for my wants and needs instead of settling for less. More than anything, it has also meant learning how to prioritize myself out of self-love and doing so as a daily practice.
Authenticity is not just a buzzword making its rounds on social media. It's a necessity and is arguably one of the most powerful things you can do for self.
That's why this conversation with Samantha Saunders, Licensed Professional Counselor & Authentic Relationship Expert, is so important. The host behind the Moving Beyond You podcast knows firsthand what it means to lose yourself in the pursuit of being enough for others. "When I was in my first marriage, I was so focused on being the ‘perfect wife’ and avoiding the stigma of divorce that I completely lost myself," she shares. "I thought if I just worked harder, sacrificed more, and ignored the red flags—like my husband’s repeated affairs—I could make it work. But all I did was make myself smaller and smaller until I didn’t recognize who I was anymore."
Through her own journey of self-reclamation, Saunders has learned that authenticity isn’t just about being honest with the world, it’s about being honest with yourself. In this interview, she opens up about her path to living an authentic life, her insights into breaking unhealthy relational loops, and how embracing abundance can help you reclaim your narrative and live a life that truly speaks to you.
If you’re ready to shift from over-giving to choosing yourself by living authentically, keep reading.
The Power of Authenticity in Self-Prioritization
For many women, particularly Black women, putting yourself first presents a unique challenge. Between societal expectations and personal obligations, self-prioritization can not only feel uncomfortable but also selfish, a word we've been conditioned to fear. From an early age, we're taught to swallow and shrink ourselves as we shape-shift into whatever the moment calls for. But what happens when those roles consume us to the point that we no longer recognize ourselves, or even disappear?
Like so many of us, Saunders had a similar story. After over 30 years of living according to what society told her she should be, she had a realization: In her pursuit of checking off the "right" boxes (i.e. being married, having kids, staying strong), she had lost herself.
"I didn’t know who I was outside of what other people needed or expected from me," she tells xoNecole. "So when you ask how living authentically plays a role in putting yourself first, the truth is—you can’t fully know yourself without checking in on what you truly want, not just what others say you need."
Samantha Saunders, LPC & Authentic Relationship Expert
Courtesy
Saunders ended up reflecting on a question that would prove to change the trajectory of her life: "If nobody had a say in how I lived my life, not my family, not society, not even my own fears, what would I do?"
For her, the answer was clear. It led her to walk away from a marriage that no longer aligned with her truth and to begin living for herself. While every woman’s answer will be different depending on her season of life, Saunders emphasizes that the core takeaway remains the same: Living authentically requires self-prioritization.
"When you’re not true to yourself, it’s easy to fall into patterns of over-giving, people-pleasing, and settling for less," she explains. "But when you honor who you are and what you truly want, you create space for healthy, reciprocal connections. Relationships should add to your life, not drain it. They thrive when two whole, authentic people show up for each other, and that can only happen when you make yourself a priority."
The truth is, that choosing yourself is an essential part of living authentically. Choosing yourself is not just about bold moves and major life shifts, it's a daily practice. It’s about learning to check in with your needs, set boundaries that honor your well-being, or refuse to shrink yourself for the comfort of others, you are choosing authenticity. You are choosing you.
Signs You’re Stuck in an Unhealthy Relational Loop
Old relational patterns might be the hardest thing to unlearn, even as you start to prioritize yourself more. Though they are often rooted in scarcity, those relational patterns feel familiar and because they are familiar, they become almost like second nature, meaning that without even realizing it, you become stuck in an unhealthy relational loop, a cycle of self-abandonment masquerading as duty, connection, and of course love.
According to Saunders, these loops can show up in ways we don't even question because we view them as normal because they are familiar to us. "Unhealthy relational loops can look like this: You argue, there’s yelling, silent treatment, or someone says something hurtful, and then eventually you 'move on.' Maybe there’s an apology, maybe not, but the behavior doesn’t actually change. You feel like you’re stuck on repeat, and deep down, you know nothing is improving," she explains.
Another major sign? Over-giving or over-functioning in relationships. "Maybe you’re constantly doing things for others at the expense of your own well-being because you’re afraid of disappointing them or losing the relationship. A lot of times in unhealthy relationships we are over-functioning for the other person, whether that’s emotionally or trying to get them to change in some capacity. You might also notice you’re always seeking approval, doubting your decisions, or second-guessing your worth," Saunders expounds.
Other signs of unhealthy relational loops can include:
- Over-explaining or justifying your needs
- Feeling emotionally responsible for others
- Staying in cycles simply because they are familiar
"You are not obligated to keep living in a pattern. You don’t have to keep attracting the same dynamics of giving and just because it’s familiar," Saunders reminds us. "Familiar does not mean safe. Familiar does not mean yours. It just means you have been conditioned to accept it."
"Familiar does not mean safe. Familiar does not mean yours. It just means you have been conditioned to accept it."
Saunders reiterates that familiar patterns are often ones that stem from survival mode, a learned response from our past experiences that we had to earn love or fight to be chosen. But she makes it clear that in case no one told you, "you are no longer that version of yourself who had to fight for scraps. You are becoming a grown healed woman who is allowed to choose abundance, especially in your relationships."
But how do you break a cycle that already feels so ingrained in how you move through the world? Saunders offers a framework for recognizing and releasing these patterns:
How to Heal Unhealthy Relational Patterns: 5 Tips
1. Slow down and see the pattern:
"The moment you feel that familiar pull [of] over-explaining, fixing, shrinking... pause. What is your body telling you? What's the urge? And whose voice is in your head when you feel like you have to do it? Awareness is your first step out."
2. Separate reality from fear.
"A scarcity response is fear dressed up as wisdom. It whispers, 'If I don’t do this, I’ll lose them,' or 'If I say no, they’ll leave.' But is that true, or is it just a version of you that still believes she has to work for love?"
3. Interrupt the cycle with something new.
"When you catch yourself falling into an old pattern, ask yourself: 'What would a healed, abundant version of me do?' Maybe that means not texting first. Maybe that means allowing yourself to receive instead of proving your worth. Maybe that means choosing rest over performing. The shift starts with one different choice."
4. Regulate your nervous system.
"These patterns aren’t just in your mind, they live in your body. That anxious pull to do something? That’s your nervous system running old programming. Breathe. Move. Meditate. Teach your body that you are safe even when you don’t over-function."
5. Rewire your beliefs about love, connection, and worth.
"You have to start believing that you are inherently worthy of love and support not because of what you do, but because of who you are. Real love does not require your exhaustion."
From Scarcity to Abundance: How to Stop Over-Giving and Start Thriving
If learning how to break free from unhealthy relational loops teaches us anything, it’s that we are not obligated to stay in spaces that drain us just because they’re familiar. We don’t have to keep choosing relationships, habits, or beliefs that operate from a place of fear, over-giving, or self-sacrifice. But even when we recognize these cycles, it’s not always easy to stop identifying with them. Why? Because of scarcity.
Scarcity conditions us to believe that letting go of what is familiar means that we are losing. Scarcity makes us believe that if not this, what else is there? What if there is not another opportunity after this, another relationship, another chance? What if there isn't more?
According to Saunders, it's this mindset that keeps us from choosing abundance, from leading a life of authenticity, and ultimately from truly choosing ourselves.
"Scarcity is a mindset we inherit from experiences where we felt like there wasn’t ‘enough.’ Enough love, time, opportunities, or support. It keeps us stuck in fear, thinking we have to cling to what we have because something better might not come along. But the truth is, there are billions of opportunities, people, and chances in this world. Your only limit is what you allow yourself to believe."
So how do you actually make this shift? Saunders offers these key steps:
How to Shift from Scarcity to Abundance: 6 Tips
1. Reframe your beliefs.
"To shift into abundance, start by reframing your beliefs. Instead of thinking, 'This is my only chance,' remind yourself, 'There will always be more.' Whether it’s love, success, or community, abundance exists when you stop operating from fear. 'I have to earn love' or 'Opportunities are limited' must be replaced with 'I am already worthy' and 'What’s meant for me won’t require self-sacrifice.'"
2. Set boundaries that honor your worth.
"Scarcity makes us overextend ourselves because we think saying no means we’re losing something. But boundaries create space for what you truly deserve. Ask yourself, 'Does this add to my life, or does it drain me?' Then make decisions accordingly."
3. Let go of over-giving and practice receiving.
"Practicing receiving without guilt is key, allowing love, help, and rest without immediately feeling the need to reciprocate reinforces that you are deserving just because."
"To shift into abundance, start by reframing your beliefs. Instead of thinking, 'This is my only chance,' remind yourself, 'There will always be more.' Whether it’s love, success, or community, abundance exists when you stop operating from fear."
4. Stop settling and raise your standards.
"Setting and maintaining bare minimum standards in relationships, work, and personal care ensures that you no longer settle for less than what aligns with your worth. The real shift happens when you stop moving from desperation and start moving from trust, knowing that chasing or over-giving won’t bring you what’s truly meant for you."
5. Embrace the power of no.
"Embracing the power of saying no without guilt or fear creates space for what actually nourishes and supports you. When you fully believe in your own worth, you stop proving yourself and start choosing what aligns with the life you truly want.
6. Ground yourself in gratitude.
"Focus on gratitude. When you recognize what you already have, it reinforces the belief that more is possible. Gratitude helps you lean into abundance and lets you move through life with confidence instead of fear."
How to Start Putting Yourself First Today
So, how do you start putting yourself first? Well, it starts with small, intentional choices that reinforce your worth and shift you out of over-giving and self-neglect. In terms of practical tips, Saunders emphasizes prioritizing yourself starts with the little things, like recognizing where your energy is going and reclaiming it.
"Take a look at your schedule, your to-do list, or even your text messages. Identify one thing you’re saying yes to out of guilt, obligation, or fear of disappointing someone, and say no instead," she advises. Whether it’s declining a last-minute request, rescheduling something that doesn’t fit your energy, or stepping away from a draining conversation, setting these small boundaries is a powerful way to take back your time.
Just as important as your actions are the thoughts that shape them. "If you catch yourself thinking, ‘I have to overwork to be successful’ or ‘If I don’t do everything, I’ll lose people,’ pause and reframe it," she encourages. Instead, try replacing those thoughts with, 'Success flows when I take care of myself first' or 'I am worthy of love and support without over-functioning.' This simple mindset shift can completely change how you move through life.
And when it comes to boundaries, one of the most freeing things you can do is stop explaining yourself. "You don’t need to justify prioritizing yourself. A simple ‘I’m not available’ is enough," Saunders reminds us. "Watch how much lighter you feel when you stop giving people permission to validate your choices." Letting go of the need for permission or validation allows you to stand firmly in your decisions without guilt.
4 Ways to Put Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty
For Black women, self-prioritization is more than self-care, it’s self-preservation. This radical act of choosing ourselves is about reclaiming our time, our energy, and our wholeness. But just because we are learning that pouring endlessly into others leads to our own unraveling doesn’t mean there isn’t room to prioritize the people we love. It simply means we can no longer afford to do so at the cost of losing ourselves in the process.
"Balancing self-prioritization while nurturing healthy relationships starts with the understanding that putting yourself first doesn’t mean neglecting others—it means making sure you’re showing up fully, not resentfully," says Saunders. "This will include setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and ensuring that your relationships are built on mutual respect, not self-sacrifice."
The truth is, that healthy relationships don’t require self-abandonment. They don’t thrive on exhaustion or performance. They require both individuals to show up fully and authentically. And prioritizing yourself does not mean neglecting others. It means making sure you are included in the love and care you so freely give.
It means no longer depleting yourself in relationships just to be seen as worthy. "Many people, especially Black women, have been conditioned to believe that prioritizing themselves means neglecting others, but in reality, when you care for yourself first, you show up in relationships from a place of fullness, not depletion."
So how do you balance both? How do you nurture your relationships while making sure you don’t disappear in the process? Saunders shares the following key steps:
1. Get Clear on Your Non-Negotiables
"What do you need to feel like you? Whether it’s alone time, a morning routine, therapy, or simply not answering calls after a certain time, those things matter. When you make space for them, you show up in relationships from a place of wholeness, not depletion."
2. Set Boundaries & Communicate Them Early
"Healthy relationships thrive on clear expectations. If you need a night to yourself, say it. If a conversation is draining you, step away. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re guidelines for how you can love and be loved without losing yourself in the process."
3. Check in With Yourself Regularly
"We check in on others all the time—How are you? But how often do you ask yourself that? Take a moment each week to pause and ask: Am I honoring my needs, or am I slipping into over-giving? Your well-being shouldn’t be an afterthought."
4. Release the Guilt
"You don’t have to prove your love by over-sacrificing. The people who genuinely care about you will respect your need for balance. Love should feel mutual, reciprocal, and energizing not something that drains the life out of you.
"At the end of the day, the healthier you are mentally, emotionally, [and] physically the healthier your relationships will be. You don’t have to choose between taking care of yourself and being there for others. You can do both. The key is making sure you don’t disappear in the process.
"So ask yourself: 'Am I showing up from a place of love, or from a place of obligation?' The answer will tell you everything you need to know," Saunders concludes.
For more of Saunders, cop her 7 Days to Reclaim Your Peace and Start Healingjournal here.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy