
From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
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From '106 & Park' To Prime Time, Rocsi Diaz Is Still That Girl
Rocsi Diaz is no stranger to the camera. From her iconic run on 106 & Park to interviewing Hollywood heavyweights on Entertainment Tonight, she’s been at the center of culture for years. Now, she’s back in the hosting chair alongside none other than Deion “Coach Prime” Sanders for We Got Time Today, a fresh talk show exclusive to Tubi.
The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
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Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
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For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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Coconut Water, Papaya Masks, Bone Broth & 7 Other 'Edible' Skincare Recipes To Try Out
I don’t know about you, but there have been dozens of times (at least) when I’ve heard that when it comes to narrowing down what beauty products I should use, “If you can’t eat it, don’t apply it.”
Although I do think that there should be a bit of nuance that’s applied to that type of resolve, I must admit that I do get the overall point because, when you’re trying to give your skin the best possible pampering and care, the less chemicals that you apply, ultimately, the better. Plus, there are so many things that are even in our own refrigerators that can make our skin look radiantly flawless.
10 of those things are listed down below. And although each of them can benefit you, health-wise, in a myriad of different ways, today we’re going to solely focus on how all of them can be relied upon to get your skin into the kind of condition that you’ve always wanted it to be.
1. Coconut Water Serum
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If you want to get a bit more potassium or antioxidants in your system, coconut water can make that happen. Since potassium is something that helps to keep hydration in your skin and antioxidants are awesome at slowing down the signs of aging, these are already two wonderful reasons to consume coconut water consistently. Aside from that, coconut water is also good for your skin because it contains antimicrobial properties that help to prevent breakouts, plus, it is a solid source of vitamin C which helps to boost collagen production so that your skin has more elasticity.
Wanna hydrate your skin from the outside in? Check out this Coconut Water and Jojoba Oil recipehere.
2. Papaya Masks
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A fruit that also contains a lot of vitamin C and antioxidants is papaya. It also has an impressive amount of Vitamin A in it which is good to know becausevitamin A is a nutrient that can help reduce skin sagging, decrease hyperpigmentation, and even soothe the symptoms that are associated with psoriasis. Since papaya features properties that also fight inflammation, it can help to speed up the healing process of pimples and, if you’re looking forfree radicals to stay far away from your skin, papaya can do that for you as well.
Looking for a gentle way to exfoliate your skin while soothing any skin irritation that you may have at the same time? Check out this DIY Papaya Maskhere.
3. Bone Broth
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I am someone who enjoys cooking withbone broth. If you’ve always wondered exactly what it is, bone broth is simply the nutrients that come from animal bones after they’ve been soaking in water for a long period of time.Since bone broth is packed with everything from protein and calcium to magnesium and amino acids, it’s definitely something that can give your skin a boost of health from the inside out. Specifically, the amino acids in bone broth help to reduce inflammation and help you get a good night’s rest (which is paramount as far as achieving glowing skin is concerned).
Also,the collagen that’s in bone broth can help to make your skin firmer and more youthful-looking. So, if you want to proactively help out your skin, cook with bone broth more often. Within a matter of weeks, you should notice a difference.
4. Black Cumin Seed Oil Cleanser
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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — when it comes to something that is holistically beneficial for your health, black cumin seed oil is that one. So much, in fact, that there are several articles out in cyberspace (like this onehere) that list over 100 ways that it can do wonders for your overall health and well-being. Your skin will adore this particular oil becauseit contains properties that fight acne, treat psoriasis and eczema, andhelp to dissolve warts. Also, this oil contains antibacterial and antiviral properties that help to keep your skin healthy, in general.
If you’re looking for an all-natural way to deeply cleanse your skin, black cumin seed oil can certainly be of great assistance. You can read more about why and how by goinghere.
5. Watermelon Skin Toner
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On the palate tip, few things make me happier than cubes of watermelon (when it’s in season, which is typicallybetween May and September). Since it consists of92 percent water, you know that watermelon is going to hydrate your skin — plus, the vitamin C that’s in it will do a good job of increasing your skin’s collagen production. Some other great things about watermelon (as far as your skin is concerned) is ithelps to reduce inflammation and oxidative stress and it can evenhelp to even out your skin tone.
A super refreshing way to tone and tighten your skin is to use a toner that has watermelon in it. A quick and easy recipe that will help you to do just that is locatedhere.
6. Hemp Milk Soap
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At the end of the day, hemp milk is a milk alternative that is made by mixing water and seeds from the Cannabis sativa plant (yes, the plant that makes weed) together. Since there are a lot of fatty acids in hemp milk, that automatically makes it “skin worthy” because fatty acids help to hydrate your skin, improve the texture of your skin, and reverse some of the environmental damage that your skin may be experiencing. Since there are also vitamins A, D, and E in hemp milk, that makes it beneficial for your skin as well because vitamin A can help to unclog your pores, vitamin D can help to cultivate new skin cells, and vitamin E can help to smooth out the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
If you’re looking for a way to soothe your entire body with hemp milk, there’s a cool (albeit ingredient-rich) recipe for how to make hemp milk soaphere.
7. Tomato Paste Mask
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It’s not that I don’t like tomatoes, it’s just that…if I go months without eating one, I don’t really notice. I wish that wasn’t the case too becausetomatoes are a good source of fiber, folate, Vitamin C, beta-carotene, and potassium.Your skin needs beta-carotene because it’s an antioxidant that helps to protect it from UV damage and it reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles that you might have. Some other benefits that come withusing tomatoes for your skin are they reduce skin inflammation, boost collagen production, help to prevent cellular damage and they work well as a skin exfoliant.
So long as your skin isn’t super sensitive (because there is a fair amount of acid that’s in this particular fruit), it will be so happy that you’ve given it a face mask that has tomatoes as one of its main ingredients. StyleCraze has many for you to choose from. Gohere to check ‘em all out.
8. Fig Face Polish
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If you’ve always wondered whatthe difference is between a fig and a date, let’s get free today. Although they both are fruits, figs contain more calcium, aren’t as sweet or sticky and they also have fewer wrinkles than dates do. On the skin health tip, figs contain fiber which helps you to stay regular which can help to detox your system and prevent breakouts.Figs also contain nutrients that can help to speed up the healing process of symptoms that are associated with dermatitis and eczema.
If you’re looking for something that will deeply hydrate and moisturize your skin, figs can do that. Figs also have a pretty good reputation when it comes to removing dead skin cells so that your skin’s texture will be soft and smooth; this is partly thanks to the antioxidants that are in them.
Ready for your skin to have a brilliant glow? Check out this fig face polish recipehere.
9. Aloe Vera and Honey Facials
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There was actually a season in my life when I used todrink Aloe vera juice. Although I preferred to mix it with juice, I must admit that I could tell that it was good for me when it came tomy digestive system. I’m pretty sure that my skin enjoyed it as well, seeing that Aloe vera, internally, also helps to hydrate skin and keep it well-moisturized. If you actually use the gel on your skin,it can help to heal inflammatory acne, speed up the healing process of eczema and psoriasis symptoms and it can even assist withminimizing the appearance of pores.
As far as honey and your skin go, it’s dope because the properties in it will help to treat issues like acne, eczema, and psoriasis, it can soften the appearance of acne scars and it can even brighten your complexion over time.
If you’re someone who is all about DIY facials, this DIY Aloe & Honey Face Mask (here) will absolutely get you right.
10. Zinc Gel for Glass Skin
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A mineral that your skin definitely needs you to have in your system on a consistent basis is zinc. Studies have proven that zinc can do everything for your skin fromhelping to prevent and heal acne and providing it with protection from the sun tosoothing the symptoms that are associated with eczema and rosacea andhelping to repair DNA damage that could lead to signs of aging. Zinc-enriched foods that can help you to receive these perks internally includelamb, lentils,pecans, shiitake mushrooms, and fortified cereals.
Something else that is high in zinc — chia seeds. That said, if you like the look thatglass skin provides, you can actually make a homemade gel that can help you achieve that look. The instructions that will help you to do so are locatedhere.
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All of these are edible ways to achieve beautiful skin, whether you eat them or apply them.
Give them a shot. They’re delicious (inside) and easy (outside) ways to achieve your skin goals without any of the sometimes expensive, chemical-filled drama that comes with a lot of these commercial brands out here. And that’s just the truth.
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