Ari Lennox's "Get Close," André 3000's "Ninety Three 'Til Infinity And Beyoncé" & More Tracks To Vibe To
The new music released this week is alluring in the sense that it seems like everyone has stopped to consider how they relate to others and how they see themselves. Some analyses ("Chanel Pit" and "First Person Shooter") conclude that they are fantastic individuals, while other analyses ("Red Flags," "These Four Walls," "Tummy Hurts," and "Get Close") leave artists feeling angry with the people in their immediate environment and the way they have been treated by them.
Other tunes, like "Ninety Three 'Til Infinity And Beyoncé" and Noname's recent Tiny Desk Performance, induce a sense of calm by encouraging introspection. This week's music, in contrast to previous weeks, exudes confidence and self-assurance. Although the artists are still seeking personal development, it's encouraging to see people recognize their own beauty and opportunities for growth without criticizing or punishing themselves for not reaching their goals.
Here are the top ten songs of the week, you'll be thankful you gave them a listen.
"ON THE RIVER (Live Session)" - Offset
If you haven't viewed this video and song yet, please do so immediately, as it is less than two minutes long. For what reason? Well, a variety of factors. First off, Offset's career is at its pinnacle. Following the release of his most recent album, SET IT OFF, Offset has demonstrated remarkable artistic development.
He has exceptional lyricism, and his creative approach is more methodical. With these changes since his 2019 album, it has been a delight to observe his superabundance of imagination.
This song "On the River" demonstrates just how strategic he has become in his artistry. With Kirby talking about the Mississippi River in the backdrop, Offset performs his song in a fast-paced flow with his son, Wave, acting as his hype-man. With his son in hand, Offset raves about his success and lists how he has gained riches since he left his group. When he begins talking about how these riches provide for his family, Wave begins dancing creating a charming father-and-son moment.
"First Person Shooter" - Drake ft. J. Cole
It was a wise choice for Drake to release "First Person Shooter," which features J. Cole for his newest single and video. This is mostly because the other tracks on the album For All the Dogs—aside from "Rich Baby Daddy," "8am in Charlotte," and "Calling For You"—are mediocre at best, if not downright dull. "First Person Shooter" was released a few days after Drake and Cole revealed their 2024 joint tour, and the song tracks the two artists as they talk about their present standing in the rap business and how they demand to be considered one of the best.
Drake discusses his lavish lifestyle, comparing himself to a Super Bowl game or concert, and how he nearly surpassed Michael Jackson, the greatest artist in history. He also touches on his ruthless and opulent lifestyle during the two verses he raps.
Conversely, Cole talks about how other rappers use his name as a kind of "beef" to start a rivalry with him in order to gain something from it. He also discusses his standing in the rap game as a result of the praise that his albums have received from critics, his notable feature runs, and his luxurious musical productions, all of which have led to him being regarded as one of the greatest rappers of the present generation. The video is fun and clever and in the end, you can't help but agree that they are two of the greatest rappers in the game.
"Chanel Pit" - Tierra Whack
Speaking of the greatest rappers in the game, Tierra Whack needs to be held in that regard, as well. Unfortunately, I am certain that her gender prevents many people from viewing her as such. Even more tragically, she is seldom ever acknowledged for her brilliance when people consider the female rappers who are currently dominating the rap scene. In any case, it's long overdue that Tierra Whack receives recognition for her artistic ability, and I hope this song contributes to that. She creates catchy, fun, lighthearted, and entertaining songs and frequently presents them in the same way. Is this among her finest compositions?
No. If you're looking for that you need to go to her 2018 album, Whack World, or listen to her singles "Only Child" or "Unemployed." Even yet, this song is nonetheless worthy of its popularity since she mumbles humorously over a Kalimba tune, and her strange lines about smells and sensory overload in a mosh pit are accompanied by massive, bass-heavy beats. The term "Chanel Pit" refers to a very real place, a recalls a time when a friend of Whack's noticed her perfume odor while she was at a performance with a mosh pit. The song serves as the first taste of Whack's next album, which is set to be released in early 2024. Judging by her previous singles, it might be something wonderful.
"Get Close" - Ari Lennox
My displeasure with Ari Lennox's lack of recognition is similar to my initial feelings of annoyance with SZA and Victoria Monét. Although the other two have finally begun to receive the credit they deserve, Ari has still been left out in the cold, receiving fleeting moments of acclaim. Despite being a fantastic singer and artist with a vast repertory, for some reason, not enough people have recognized her as the mainstream star that she truly is.
In her latest single, "Get Close," Lennox sings over the chorus with a melodic yearning, demanding her love get close in proximity, and emotionally.
The song is not long, and in all honesty, the song doesn't need to be—it lasts less than three minutes. The message doesn't have to take longer to reach its intended audience, because it is clear-cut and simple. She wants to be close to her lover. She gently draws his attention to his sporadic distancing, despite her worry, and reminds him of the occasions when it is appropriate to trust her enough to be close. So, she knows how obstinate he can be and when he might want to retreat. With this song, she may easily entice him back into her embrace and their inevitable bond.
"These Four Walls" - Khamari
In the sea of R&B singers, it is no surprise that the artist Khamari finds himself drowning in their artistry. Another artist deserving of recognition, his sultry voice is on full display in his newest single "These Four Walls." A song about loneliness and longing for love to come back to him, Khamari proclaims his love for his lover but is only met with disappointment at her ever-flighty behavior.
This forces him to place a higher value on the walls than he ought to because he perceives them as more trustworthy and consistent than the partner who ignores him, betrays him, and makes unobtainable and unreasonable demands. In the end, he sadly recognizes that the walls are the only things in his life that can provide stability and protection for his love's selfishness and although it is not something he wants, he realizes it's the only thing he has.
"Tummy Hurt" - Reneé Rapp and Coco Jones
I will admit that I am not a huge fan of Reneé Rapp. Although I don't have anything against the musician, I haven't found a song of hers that I find particularly noteworthy or that I care about enough to download. That was before today. I didn't anticipate this remix of "Tummy Hurts," coming out like this, but all of a sudden I was downloading and playing the song nonstop. Coco Jones, a five-time Grammy nominee (I love writing that), is featured on the remix, which has brought the song to life in a manner I never imagined.
Rapp starts the song by singing on how difficult it is to depend on her ex for both emotional and financial assistance while an electric guitar is strumming along. She showed him affection even though he wasn't worthy of it, and in exchange he showed another person his affection. She therefore only wants the best for the couple, but she also has a secret hope that they will learn a valuable lesson via the suffering of their predestined kid, whom Rapp hopes would suffer the same anguish she had. Jones reflects similar sentiments, wondering how the devil maintains all of his wicked traits while maintaining such a lovely appearance. It's entertaining to hear the vocalists belt over each other as they join the chorus and express their fervent desire for the demise of both his new partner and their ex.
"The Glass" - H.E.R. ft. Foo Fighters
Remember that time Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar performed together at the 2014 Grammy Awards, and everyone thought, "What the f***?" and "Why the f***?" However, it ended up being a song worth listening to and one of the night's top performances. Well, that's the exact sentiments I expressed when I saw H.E.R.'s name next to the Foo Fighters. Though, unexpectedly this does not have much of the Foo Fighters on the song. Instead, this is a cover of Foo Fighter's "The Glass."
Reflective of her debut album, this song is very ballad-based and anthem-like, which isn't always a bad thing. But after hearing one ballad-like speech too many, it becomes redundant and leaves a lot to be desired with this chosen single. Her voice is beautiful, but once the song concludes, it doesn't leave much of an impression on the listener.
"Red Flags" - Brittany Howard
The excitement I hold for this upcoming album is simply unfathomable. And with the constant releases of her singles, I find that I am getting more and more excited as the weeks drag on. "Red Flags," Brittany Howard's latest single, is an emotional, expressionist rumination on a failing relationship.
Brittany Howard's "Red Flags" unfolds like an ethereal jazz emotional breakdown, except in her interpretation. The topic of the song is the propensity to see warning signs and to ignore them entirely despite knowing better.
Unlike the songs that Howard usually creates, this song leans less on the electric guitar and more on the funky and at times erratic beats of the drum, and Howard's low raspy voice told as if she is coming to some kind of realization throughout the song. When she finally acknowledges where she is at fault, her low rasp turns into a high-pitched scream of frustration.
"Ninety Three 'Til Infinity And Beyoncé" - André 3000
The music on the new album New Blue Sun, is lovely and a great example of how people may get more introspective as they age. André 3000 opted to use a flute, which has been an inspiration to him for the past few years, to produce an album because he wanted to make a rap record but had nothing to talk about. This album, which lasts for one hour and eight minutes, is a peaceful, serene experience as all of the tracks are at 432 Hz, the healing frequency for calmness and relaxation.
With "Ninety Three 'Til Infinity And Beyoncé," André 3000 crafts a catchy, melodious atmosphere that keeps you enthralled for over four minutes.
Noname: Tiny Desk Concert
Not many artists have returned to the Tiny Desk performances. When they do, however, Tiny Desk demands that they either come in a new version or give something completely different. The 23-minute performance included revolutionary raps from Noname's third album Sundial, as well as the premiere of an unreleased song by hip-hop trio Ghetto Sage, which includes her and longtime collaborators Smino and Saba. The album, Sundial, is a brilliant examination of American culture and marks Noname's first release in five years.
Noname is tired of the anti-critical positive culture we've fostered over the years and is disgusted by the way this movement has produced marketed performances that turn Black art and culture into commodities.
This record is remarkable, enlightening, and self-aware in a manner that Noname has never been before. She is not trying to portray herself as a revolutionary in this, but she is also not going to remain silent about the absurdity she is seeing all around her or for other people. Watch the entire 23 minutes of this performance, and become enraptured in the artist as she finally shows that she deserves to be recognized as a groundbreaking artist of her time.
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Featured image by Ari Lennox/YouTube
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
1 In 4 Men And Women Are Faking It—Science Explains How To Change That
It’s no secret that I can’t stand fake orgasms. There are a billion reasons why — some of which I will get into in just a moment. For now, what I will say is, even if you can rationalize that faking orgasms will “get you out of” the sex that you may be having at the moment, when it comes to long-term satisfaction and benefits, how is faking it really going to get you anywhere? At least anywhere good — which is what you totally and absolutely deserve.
And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy