I don't know about y'all but when I was growing up, when it came to what I should eat vs. what I should avoid, I oftentimes heard folks say, "If it's white, it ain't right." In this context, what that meant was foods like white bread, white rice (except for jasmine rice), white pasta — none of these were considered to be very healthy because they tend to be so over-processed that there is minimal nutritional value to them. Because of that, eating them on a consistent basis can lead to health issues like obesity, type 2 diabetes, constipation, depression-related symptoms and even fatty liver disease.
What's the alternative? Whole grains. What makes them so much better is because foods that are made from whole grains literally contain all of the grain in them — all of the bran, germ, and endosperm. This helps you to get so many of the vitamins and minerals as a direct result. And just what kind of grains are considered to be "whole"? Some include oats, barley, rye, wheat, quinoa, millet and corn (including cornmeal and popcorn).
OK. Now before you head off to your local grocery store and fill up your cart with whole grain foods, it's important to remember the very wise words of Aristotle — the excess of a virtue is a vice. As it relates to this particular topic, it's relevant because, while whole grains are good for us on a lot of levels, overdoing it can result in some unforeseen health issues, if we're not careful. So, as you're making out your next grocery shopping list, take into account eight good reasons to eat whole grains and four reasons to consume them in moderation.
1. They’re GOOD for Your Digestion
On average, whole grains contain somewhere between 3-5 grams of fiber per serving. As I'm pretty sure you know, fiber is essential to a healthy diet because it helps to keep "good bacteria" in your gut which makes it easier for you to digest food and have regular bowel movements. And the more regular your bowels are, the easier it is to keep toxins out of your body. All of this is a really good thing.
2. They’re GOOD at Fighting/Preventing Chronic Inflammation
Just for the record, inflammation is what happens when your system kicks up its white blood cells and whatever else it needs to go overtime in fighting bacteria or viruses. The challenge is, some people have health issues (for instance, arthritis) where, when inflammation happens, when there are no "invaders". As a result, healthy tissues become inflamed and damaged. Something that whole grains do is lower your risk of experiencing unnecessary inflammation. In fact, they are on the list of many health-related articles that mention anti-inflammatory foods. That is, unless you are allergic to a protein in wheat known as gluten. If that is the cause, it could cause inflammation in your system. I'll touch more on that towards the end of this article, though.
3. They’re GOOD at Redistributing Fat and Keeping Your Weight Under Control
Do whole grains help you to lose weight? Eh, it kind of depends on who you ask.
What I will say is, from what I've read and researched, consuming whole grains is a wise move on this tip because it has the ability to reduce the amount of fat that is currently in your system while redistributing it at the same time. For instance, people who replace white foods with whole grains tend to notice a real change when it comes to the amount of belly fat that's stored up in their abdominal region.
Sounds like a win to me!
4. They’re GOOD at Lowering Bad Cholesterol and Your Blood Pressure
If you want to keep your cholesterol levels and blood pressure under control, whole grains are really good at doing both. However, it should go on record that as far as your cholesterol goes, it lowers your LDL cholesterol and TC, not HDL cholesterol or triglycerides. Also, whole grain oats are the kind of whole grains that are most effective for this. As far as your blood pressure goes, because whole grains are a good source of potassium and potassium helps to weaken the effect of sodium in your system, that's why whole grains work so well in this department.
5. They’re GOOD at Giving You Your Daily Source of Vitamin B
If you basically want to take a B-complex vitamin, eat some whole grain foods. The reason why I say that is because they literally contain all eight B vitamins. This is good to know because B-vitamins help to boost your energy level, promote good digestion, strengthen your cells as they develop, keep your nerves in good shape, lower your stroke risk, boost your immunity, keep your hormones healthy and so much more.
6. They’re GOOD at Regulating Your Blood Sugar Levels
Here's another awesome point. While white foods (refined ones) can spike your blood sugar levels, whole grain foods are able to prevent this from ever happening. The main reason is because fiber has a way of assisting with insulin insensitivity. This means that the more whole grains you have — especially over white foods — the better you are at decreasing your chances of experiencing type 2 diabetes.
7. They’re GOOD for Your Oral Health
I bet you never thought that a bowl of oatmeal or some spaghetti that's made with whole wheat pasta could be good for your teeth; however, that is exactly the case.
The B-vitamins, iron, zinc, magnesium and antioxidants in them all help to keep your gums and teeth nice and strong. Also, since whole grains are good at keeping blood sugar levels in their place, this can promote good oral health overall.
8. They’re GOOD at Promoting Longevity
After reading all of the benefits that I just shared, it probably comes as no surprise to you that consuming whole grains is good for your overall longevity too. In fact, I read a study that said eating whole grains can lower your risk of heart disease by as much as 15 percent and overall death rate by 9 percent. Every little bit helps, right?
Now let's tackle just a few reasons why you should definitely balance how many whole grains you eat on a regular basis.
1. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Trigger Bloating
Something that's interesting about whole grains is, although they're considered to be a pretty good source of fiber, the challenge is they're also an indigestible carbohydrate. When it comes to whole grains, specifically, this doesn't mean that they are bad for you. What it does mean is since your gastrointestinal tract lacks the enzymes to break them all the way down, they end up turning into a gummy texture in your system which slows down your digestive process which can ultimately lead to bloating. That said, the takeaway here is not that you should go without whole grains altogether, you just need to not have a ton of them in one sitting.
2. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Also Trigger Autoimmune Diseases
First of all, let me say that if you've ever wondered what an autoimmune disease actually is, the short long of it is, it's when your body mistakenly attacks your immune system. OK, so remember how I said earlier that we would come back to gluten? Again, gluten is a plant-based protein that exists in a lot of different grains. Personally, I'm not big on the whole gluten-free diet for all because not everyone is allergic to it. However, if you are and you keep on eating it anyway, it can trigger the autoimmune disease known as Celiac disease. Also, if you've got some sort of a whole grain allergy and you battle with lupus, type 1 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, psoriasis, inflammatory bowel disease, etc., it can definitely cause the symptoms that are related to these health issues to flare up. In other words, whole grains and autoimmune diseases don't exactly get along.
3. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Cause Kidney Stones
Recently, I was talking to my landscape architect about the reason why he had been MIA for a few weeks. "Have you ever had a kidney stone before? It's hell," he said with a miserable look on your face. Fortunately, I have not. I do know some folks who have, though, and they all express his same sentiment. If you can relate to where they are coming from, this is one more reason to watch how many whole grains you eat.
Something that whole grains have in them is an organic plant compound known as oxalic acid. While this acid is typically flushed out whenever we urinate, folks who are highly susceptible to kidney stones should be careful because this acid sometimes has a way of connecting to the calcium in our system which can ultimately create a kidney stone (ouch).
4. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Could Reveal an Allergy
One more. I know a few people who are pretty healthy eaters and yet, for years, they were dealing with a lot of inflammation and bloating that they couldn't seem to get a handle on. That is, until they took an allergies test and realized that they were allergic to wheat and/or gluten. If after consuming whole grains, you notice that your skin feels itchy, you've got some bloating or inflammation going on, you have a headache, you feel nausea and/or you're going through an eczema breakout, it could be that you are allergic to a particular kind of whole grain. The only way to know for sure is to make an appointment with your doctor or to take a food allergy test. Everlywell is one company that offers food sensitivity/allergy tests that you can take from the comfort of your own home. The sooner you know, the better you'll feel about the kind of whole grains you eat, how much you consume them — and why.
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
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Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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