***Trigger Warning***
Angela Simmons is one of those unproblematic celebrities that doesn't bother anyone. She doesn't say or do too much and she mostly keeps to herself while minding her business and collecting bags, ultimately keeping her clear from the muddy waters of fame.
Lately, she's been opening up to her fans a little more, and allowing them into her world thanks to her new YouTube channel, Just Angela. Here, she a bit of an open book, discussing everything from being a boy mom, her favorite Black-owned businesses, and her fitness journey. But one of the videos that caught our attention most, was when she revealed that she was in an abusive relationship. In the video, she opens up about domestic violence and how she escaped her situation, as well as advice she has for those who are currently in abusive relationships.
And listen, ladies: this video is full. of. gems. Full of them. And honestly, it's refreshing to hear her speak on such an uncomfortable experience, in such a mature, balanced, and wise way. Here's why:
Her Experience
YouTube
The video opens with her briefly discussing her past relationships, focusing on the one that was most toxic, or the one where she was abused. She details some of her past traumas in the relationship, and even talks about when she discovered that she was actually in an abusive relationship.
"I've been in multiple relationships for years and I had one that was...not so great. Toxic. I think we've all be in relationships that are toxic or not right for you, but for me...I guess...you don't realize what you're going through until you go through it and I know that I was going through a lot of verbal abuse. And I didn't realize that's what it was until I started therapy."
She continued:
"I'm not being talked to right, and I'm uncomfortable, and I don't feel good and putting you down and cursing you out, like whatever it is, I've been through that. And after that, eventually comes the domestic abuse. One day something happens and, not that you think it's minor but you think, 'is this really happening to me?' Next thing you know...'I've got a bruise.' It's the craziest thing. You think, 'this could never be me, I'm not that girl. And I was. It shook my world up."
Getting Whole
YouTube
Angela says getting out the situation was tough for her, but she managed to do so and find herself again.
"Pulling yourself out of it, that's my testimony, that I pulled myself out of it. And not just out of the relationship, but just mentally. I had to comeback. And coming back from that is the hardest thing."
"It's almost like, you have to apologize to yourself, like, 'I'm sorry. Why did I put you through that?' Why would I have allowed a man to put me that low, when I don't even put myself down like that?"
"I have healed about it now that I can speak about it and I'm not crying. When you heal completely, those things no longer trigger me. I really want to encourage therapy, getting a life coach--really digging into what your issues are, but more importantly, embracing them. The hardest part was accepting that this is what I actually went through but I'm stronger, I'm smarter, I'm in a great space mentally, and I am able to have this conversation."
Opening Up
YouTube
Like many women who are going through an abusive situation, Angela kept her relationship struggles to herself.
"For the longest time, it was something I hid from my friends, my family because I was going through it and I don't know if I was more afraid of what they would think or if I was trying to figure it out for myself. I just know so many women who do hide but are afraid to have the conversation, so for my organization, Pressure Makes Diamonds, I want to open up the floor for women to be there for each other."
"Women need to lean on each other a little more because the stories we have, match."
For the remainder of the video, Angela opens up about losing herself, why helping other women is her priority, and the advice she has for women who are looking to leave a toxic relationship (which is sooooo good, ladies).
Watch the full video below:
Loving this side of Angela!
For the rest of 2021, let's make it a priority to focus on ourselves, ladies. Get that therapist, learn about healthy relationships, and blissfully without the chaos. You deserve it, queen!
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Featured image by Cindy Ord/Getty Images
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak