One of the greatest hip-hop artists of our generation suffers from social anxiety. Let that sink in for a minute.
The man who taught us how to shake it like a Polaroid picture and urged us all to "git up, git out and git somethin'" has nerve-induced writer's block just like the rest of us and, in his latest podcast interview with Rick Rubin, the artist opened up about coping with his anxiety and regaining the confidence to release new music.
This year, artists including Wale, Ari Lennox, Summer Walker, and now Andre 3000 have been open about their struggles with social anxiety, proving that you're not alone, sis. The artist told Rick:
"I haven't been making much music, man. My focus is not there. My confidence is not there."
In Andre's interview, he explained that although his success has been a gift, being diagnosed with social anxiety 15 years ago made his reality feel more like a curse:
"There have been times where I've prayed to a God that I didn't even know existed, like, 'I'd rather you take this away from me---all of this--- if I could just feel normal. Take the voice career---all that shit, you can have it if I can feel normal.' But it don't work like that."
In the past, the 44-year-old father has been candid about his diagnosis and shared that his struggles with mental illness began early in his career. In a 2017 interview with GQ, Andre shared that his anxiety was a big part of the reason he moved away from Atlanta to find refuge in the Big Apple:
"I was diagnosed with this social thing. I didn't notice it until I became an entertainer. I don't know if it's the shock of all kind of people coming up to you or the expectations, but I got to this place where it was hard for me to be in public without feeling watched or really nervous."
While the entertainer didn't initially identify his apprehension around crowds and strangers as anxiety, he eventually came to terms with his battle and decided to seek help:
"I just chucked it off as, 'Aw, yeah, man, I just need to take a break.' And I started to notice it getting worse and worse because the more you run from it, the worse it gets. You don't want to explain it because you don't want to be a weak link around your friends. I never told my crew for a long time, so I just started getting to myself---spending more time with myself---and stopped touring. And it felt great for me to do that because it's like, 'Phew, I don't like that life. I don't like that confrontation.'"
Andre explained that although he'd like to release new music, his anxiety and tendency to be overly critical has crippled him into a state of analysis paralysis, and we can all relate. He explained:
"Any little thing I put out... people nitpick it with a fine-tooth comb. 'Oh, he said that word!' And that's not a great place to create from. And it makes you draw back."
It's been almost 14 years since Andre 3000 released a full-length, solo project, and according to him, it'll be 14 years before we get another one if the vibe ain't right.
While we're dying for a new three stacks album, we get it king. Protect your peace. For now, Andre is refocusing his attention and rediscovering his self-confidence so that he can make hip-hop fun again.
"I'm trying to find out what makes me feel the best right now. What makes me feel the best is when I do these random… instrumental kind of things. They make me feel the most rebellious."
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Featured image via Giphy.
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
