Her Voice
Kori's Story, as told to Brenda Alexander:
Although I hate to be categorized, if I have to check a box on a US Census form, I would identify as lesbian. I always have.
I've been in long-term committed relationships with women and despite my mother's desire for grandchildren the "natural way" and her loving skepticism regarding my "lifestyle," I've always been confident in my partnerships. And that has been accepted from those who love me.
However, I do not conform to normalities.
I consider myself a free spirit. I'm a lover of people and attracted to energy. I'm a user of mood rings and sage, someone who goes with the flow and believes in constant evolution and recreating and/or redefining oneself as one continues their journey of self-discovery. That too is known by all those close to me. It's the reason why when I ended up pregnant after a celebratory week in Vegas for my birthday, my friends did not question how it came to be.
It seemed like a set up from the beginning. I had just gotten out of a dysfunctional relationship with my ex-live-in-girlfriend of several years. It was one of those relationships where one took on the role of teacher, or as my mama would say "a clean up woman," where you work tirelessly to mold and groom your significant other into the person you believe is a true representation of their full potential. But the drama it took to get them there was a complete and utter turn off that left you drained and eager for a spiritual cleanse to get rid of them.
My birthday was approaching and I figured a girls trip to Vegas would be a great way to celebrate being single and ring in my personal New Year. I booked my flights and Airbnb and was determined to take Vegas by storm! We were all flying in from different cities and since I was traveling alone, I figured I deserved the absolute most. When the service attendant asked me if I wanted to upgrade from coach to first class for a small fee upon check-in, I said, "Yes."
With free champagne and a meal, I was off to a good start. And then I saw him.
While walking to my seat, he called my name. "Kori," he yelled.
Caught off guard, I turned and gave him a hug when I recognized it was him. We shared a mutual friend who he went to college with. We hung out over the years and he was always into me but I never gave him the time of day. But, that didn't stop his pursuit of me. Whenever I did see him, he'd always remind me, "I know you aren't interested but if you change your mind, I'm here," he'd tell me. Our friends thought we would be perfect together. I thought he was nice looking, a cool and sweet guy but paid him no mind. I NEVER saw him in that way.
We chatted for a moment. He told me he was headed to Vegas on business and ironically knew from our friend's social media that I was headed there for pleasure. "Maybe we can all link up at some point," he said, hopeful. That was the end of our conversation. I went to my seat, sipped on my prosecco, and mellowed out before takeoff.
This wasn't your usual party all day and night Vegas experience. Instead, I wanted to bask in my new freedom with some adult-like excursions. We traded three nights worth of club hopping for a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon, wine and bourbon tastings, high tea at the Cha Garden, and a host of lunches, brunches and even a four-course dinner. Cocktails flowed consistently and there were many outfit changes accompanied with Instagram postings for my followers to envy.
Then came the night in question.
On our final night, instead of paying a cover charge and waiting in line with 4-inch heels to get into the latest hotspot on The Strip that we would have to Uber to and from, it made more sense to me to throw a kickback-style shindig at our Airbnb, fill up the fridge with some gin and juice, and top it off with bottles of Hennessy X for us to share, which I later learned was the Devil's nectar.
He was invited and brought some of his coworkers along with him to make it an even number of girls and guys for a full-on house party. The ratchet playlist was in full-effect and the drinks were on pour. He made his way over to me and we ended up in our own corner. We're talking, laughing, and enjoying the libations. It was the first time in a long time that I could be my authentic self, with no restrictions. Of course, the punch gives liquid courage; but nonetheless, I was enjoying myself with him.
As the night went on, the rest of the group dwindled into their own worlds. Some went outside to enjoy the chronic, others went into separate rooms and there were a few who just couldn't hang and called it an early night. He and I went to my room where we continued our conversation. While there, he kept telling me how much he has always been into me and this time, I was more flattered than in the past. After a while, he started looking and sounding more attractive than before.
I think every woman has at least one instance in their lives when they have that moment where they know it's going down - when they want it to go down - and this was mine.
I thought to myself, "I'm single, I'm in Vegas and I'm with him. So why not?!" What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?
Wrong! Because just a little over a month later, Aunt Flo, who always calls and raises hell at the same time each month, decided to go on her own vacation and not give me a heads up.
The symptoms were subtle but I knew something was off. As a girl who never cramped during her cycle, I all of a sudden had unbearable stomach pain. I've always enjoyed a good nap or two, but I was sleeping almost all day and could barely get through work. I knew it was a strong possibility so during a trip to Walmart, I picked up a few tests.
Before I could even finish peeing on the stick, the two lines generated and confirmed my suspicions.
Hell, blame it on the Henny.
He and I kept in touch post our Vegas rendezvous and began to develop something special, so I wasn't hesitant to tell him, but this was something life-changing. In case he decided to ghost me, I let him know that abortion was something I personally would not do and that I had no problem relinquishing him of his parental rights early and moving along with our one hit wonder by my lonesome.
Of course, he was thrilled to have seemingly trapped me. The idea of him not being a father to our child was out of the question for him. And, possibly having a family together, if I would have him, was ideal.
So here we are - expectant parents and in a new relationship of sorts. As always, I am taking this new journey in stride and excited for the possibilities to come - and the modern family I've created.
All I have to say is, Thanksgiving dinner with the family will be interesting this year.
- As told to Brenda Alexander
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