Here's The Real Reason You Aren't Manifesting

What You Give Your Attention To Will Grow 

Now, I know what you're thinking: Are you saying I must stay 100% positive? No, that's not even possible.

I am saying, you must learn to control your vibration by learning to control your mind. The mind is like a magnet to the universe. Anything that you project out, by universal law, you're going to get back. So, if you're in a funk, or thinking about how crappy your life is; all your doing is magnifying more negativity into your life.

For my church folks, this is not just limited to us crystal-loving hippies. In the Bible, Philippians 4:8, says: ".... whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things." I say all this to say, you cannot constantly be negative and pray for a positive outcome.

You Must Become Emotionally Aware

The key is not to lie to yourself and pretend that you're happy. The key is to pay attention to your emotions. In, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, author Mark Manson said, "If you feel crappy it's because your brain is telling you that there's a problem that's unaddressed or unresolved." In other words, negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it's because you're supposed to do something! Denying your emotions is simply denying information that your body is trying to send to you.

Here's a real-life example: Have you watched the Red Table Talk with Jada Pinkett-Smith? If you haven't, Will Smith joins the table to tell the truth about his and Jada's marriage. At one point, Will mentioned that Jada cried for forty-five days straight. Mama Adrienne, Jada's mom, said she didn't understand how Jada could be unhappy with her life. Even Jada herself felt that she was being ungrateful. Yet, her emotions were telling her that something wasn't right. I also struggled with this. I got caught up in how I thought my life was supposed to look and what people would think of me, instead of honoring what felt right and true to me.

Our emotions know us better than we know ourselves because they know our true self.

They know all about the hopes and dreams you're afraid to tell people. So, while Jada was trying to be the perfect wife to this megastar, her emotions knew she wasn't being true to herself.

Make Sure Your Intentions Match Your Execution

Once you have accepted and paid attention to your emotions, the next step is to make sure that your hopes match your actions. I have a career in accounting that I do not want. I know this on a mental level, but also physically. There have been plenty of mornings, I would roll over and literally say, "Not this sh*t again." It came to a point that I was dreading work and finding non-permanent ways to injure myself, to get more time off work. I would go into work bored out of my mind, applying for other (accounting) jobs. All while saying, I don't want to be an accountant.

Then one day, I was on my way to a third-round interview and it finally hit me. My actions were saying, "I wanted to be an accountant." My belief was saying, "I can only be an account." Yet, my emotions knew that no matter how the job is dressed up, accounting, especially corporate America, isn't for me. My actions said that I wanted them to stay the same, despite my mind wanting things to change. Do you see how that would keep me in the same place? But I'm not alone, am I?

How many times have you talked about wanting to lose weight all while eating a double-double from Five Guys? My cycle was the definition of insanity, but we all do it. We all want things but mentally self-sabotage ourselves from ever receiving it.

Train Your Thoughts

For me, this meant that no matter what happens at this current job, my next job would not be in accounting. That was a small shift, but not enough! There were still days that were just unbearable. What helped most was thinking about my job differently or what Oprah loves to call, "choosing another thought." I than began to look at my current job to see how it does or could prepare me for my future as a professional writer. I began observing my daily tasks.

Daily, I'm juggling multiple projects with a variety of personalities types. I can create my own work schedule, but I must pay attention to detail and meet my deadlines. I imagine this would be a great skill-set to have as a showrunner. So, whenever I'm just not feeling it, I look in the mirror and tell myself my job is preparing me to become baby Shonda. Most creatives aren't good with numbers, while most people who are good with numbers aren't creative. Thankfully, those are my two strengths. It may seem like a long shot, but the belief that my job is preparing me to become Shonda not only helps me but completely shifts my energy on my bad days, along with a popping playlist!

Since I've begun to look at my job differently, I find myself appreciating the small things at my job. I realized I couldn't get away with half the stuff I do at another job. So, in the grand scheme of things, this job puts me in the best possible situation. Nothing has "changed" in my life, but my attitude. Yet I feel differently, I move differently and I'm noticing writing opportunities everywhere soclearly, things are starting to change.

So, what are your emotions trying to tell you? When you feel bad, ask yourself why. Ask yourself, 'what are you avoiding'? What issues need to be solved? Remember, emotions are our friends! They are here to give us information! Be aware of your thoughts and realize that you can always choose another one. It's not about lying to yourself, it's about gaining control of your mind. The mind is like a child, and it can be all over the place. But when you give it proper training, it's amazing.

We often talk about trauma that can be transferred down from generation to generation but, it works both ways! If you take the time to re-program your mind, to listen to your emotions, to make sure your hopes match your actions, you are not only helping your current self but the entire lineage of your future family. So, if you don't have the strength to do it for yourself, how about doing it for your grandkids? We really do have control over our lives through our thoughts.

Whether you want to believe it or not, we are creating our reality. You can do it consciously or unconsciously, it's truly up to you. But know it's not by magic, it's by believing. And that's something we can all do, so will you?