What You Need To Know About Dating Red Flags, Green Flags & Yellow Flags Rising

Red Flags In Relationships

Red flags in relationships are signs that let you know that something isn't quite right. It's often a response, interaction, or behavior that leads to you question your partner and/or the relationship. And if you have to question it the first time, it's going to be a problem the second, third, and fourth time. This is where we fuck up. We don't listen to what our intuition is trying to tell us. According to a UK outlet,The Independent, a red flag in a relationship is defined as "something your partner does that indicates a lack of respect, integrity or interest towards the relationship."

Now, these signs of a red flag can vary, but it also depends on what you are willing to tolerate. Read that again. Some of us stay with partners because we're just not aware of unhealthy habits or behaviors.

Sheleana Aiyana, founder of Rising Woman on Instagram, shares some of the red flags you should look for when dating or consider before entering a relationship:

If any of these red flags exist in the person you are currently dating or in your relationship, you need to run the other way and/or amicably end it. I ignored all these signs in a past relationship, but I didn't know any better. I now know about non-negotiables in relationships. And it has been a game-changer. I know exactly what I won't tolerate and what identifies as a red flag for me.

Green Flags In Relationships

Now, let's talk about all things healthy in relationships. According toNedra Tawwab, green flags in relationships are:

...up-front indicators that you're in a relationship that's worth continuing and nurturing. A new relationship full of green flags is a relationship in which you will probably be able to let down your guard and be your truest self.

Green flags are the complete opposite of red flags. What this means is that you won't have to question your partner's actions. You won't have to feel guarded or tolerate repeated behaviors that make you feel a certain way. It means they are willing to show up as a partner and be present in the relationship. It also means that the relationship is equally a safe space for both of you.

Nedra Tawwab and Sheleana Aiyana share some of the green flags to look for to cultivate a healthy relationship:

These are the healthy behaviors we want in not just a romantic relationship, but any relationship. Remember, love flows - it makes your heart expand. It makes your soul grow. What love doesn't do is make you feel small or constricted.

Yellow Flags In Relationships

OK, yes. Yellow flags are real. It's the things we don't necessarily pay attention to about a person, but we should. These types of relationship flags are not deal-breakers, but they are signs that scream, "I don't know about this," or "That's weird." Yellow flags are also considered a behavior that can be acknowledged and worked on.But more importantly, you need to figure out if the behavior exhibited by your partner is a trigger for you.

According to an article fromMedium andThe Love Brain, some yellow flags to be aware of in a potential partner are:

• Major debt. Everyone has some type of debt, but how someone handles their finances can be revealing about their money habits or level of responsibility.
• Indecisiveness. The ability to make life decisions is important. If one is not capable of making decisions about their own life, you may not want to keep rocking with them.
• Opinionless.Communication is key in any relationship. So, if a partner can't communicate their opinions to you, either they are not comfortable enough with you to share their thoughts or they don't have thoughts to share.
• Never had a long-term relationship. It's not a major yellow flag, but it could shed light on commitment issues.
• An ex is always why a past relationship failed. If someone always blames their ex for their relationship not working out, this means that they refuse to take any accountability for their actions or they are victimizing themselves.
• Different life plans. Again, it's not a bad thing, but if you and your partner can't meet in the middle about your life plans, then you may want to consider parting ways.
• Details about their personal life are left out. This is dependent on the stage of the relationship you are in, but if a partner can't open up with you in time it's grounds for concern. It could potentially mean he or she is hiding things from you.
• Highly insecure. It's never cool to have a partner who lacks confidence and who constantly seeks reassurance. It becomes emotionally exhausting. And if they're not willing to work on becoming a secure person, you might have cut ties too.
• Where are their friends? A healthy individual has a network of close friends. If someone doesn't have friends or you haven't met their friends, it could mean they have trouble maintaining close relationships. Also, the type of company your partner keeps can give you insight into who they are.

Some of the yellow and red flags mentioned seem like things you normally would pay attention to upfront. But let me just say, not all yellow flags are as obvious and some of us are still learning how to date. This is where your list of non-negotiables comes into play. Study them like it's the Bible or a college textbook. This way, when you're dating someone, and they say something or respond a certain way, the yellow flag will become more apparent.

I missed every single yellow and red flag in a past relationship. I was so blindly in love that I thought we could just move past these little issues or eventually grow together. I was clearly in denial. But it's OK. Because now I know what green flags are and what traits or behaviors create a healthy relationship.

And my only hope is that we learn to say deuces to red flags, pass on the yellow flags, and embrace the ones who come with all the green flags.

Because in the end, this is who you want - a life partner that is a safe space and more.