I've Got 7 IRL Takeaways From The 'Pop The Balloon' Dating Show, Chile.

1. Double Standards Are Always Gonna Look/Sound Ridiculous

Listen, I have watched enough Pop the Balloon episodes to know that if there is one thing that I am going to see, on loop, pretty much every time are double standards — both ways. Women think it’s cool to ask complete strangers how much money they make while they are appalled that a guy would ask about their body count (both questions are hella rude, by the way). Men don’t like wigs and weaves and yet think that women are being “difficult” if they don’t like locs or would prefer a lineup on a beard.

And can somebody please tell me how and why it’s cool to tease men for not being 6’ tall (only 15 percent of American men are) and yet, somehow, it’s misogyny abundant for a man to not want a woman who is in a certain weight class — aren’t they both preferences?

Examples of this are when social media commenters were just fine with this woman at around the 34:22 mark of this episode who said that a guy was too thin and yet were pissed when a guy at the 17:11 mark of this episode said that he popped his balloon because the woman’s weight wasn’t what he was attracted to (humans are something else — LOL). And while we’re here, for so many women to take issue with submitting these days, they sure do want to (physically) look up at men a lot — interesting. Also, while we’re here, a guy is not short if you are 5’4”, in four-inch heels, and he is 5’11”. Please let’s stop the madness.

And since this ridiculous kind of rhetoric is something that I see, hear, and notice, both online and off, I thought that a great place to start with this particular article is it’s really important to not have double standards while dating. At the end of the day, they create this sense of delusional entitlement that is pretty ridiculous.

Why? Because what you’re essentially saying is “I should have what I want, just because, but you shouldn’t because I don’t agree with it.” And when does that kind of mindset ever really work out for the betterment of a relationship? Moving on.

2. Please Have Realistic Expectations

Earlier this year, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”. If you’re not familiar, that’s the kind of man who is at least 6’ tall, has at least 6” (of yes, that), and makes six figures. Now, if only 15 percent of men in this country are 6’ or taller, you can only imagine how rare a 6-6-6 guy (especially a single one) is (in walks, “The (Dating) Delusion Calculator. Let's Discuss.”).

And that’s why it always tickles me whenever a tall guy walks onto the Pop the Balloon platform (like this one at around the 34:52 mark ofthis episode) and gets passes on things that shorter men will not (like cornrows, jeans, etc.) just because he’s tall. And a lot of us, we’re the same way in the real world. If someone catches our eye or is our visual type (check out “According To Experts, We All Have A 'Type'”), we’ll let all kinds of stuff slide, including initial red (or orange or yellow) flags.

And where does the “unrealistic expectations” part come in with this point? Well, this time, I’m approaching it with a bit of a twist. For sure, two indications of having unrealistic expectations are you’re expecting a perfect individual (when you yourself aren’t that) or you’re not even a little bit flexible (which, according to many mental health experts, is a literal indication of having unrealistic expectations) when it comes to your list of wants in a relationship.

However, another example of having unrealistic expectations is when your expectations don’t make sense to the general public. Like this episode at around the 12:02 mark where the young woman said that she wants a man who takes care of her and her friends (girl, what?) or shoot, damn near the entire episode of 19 which featured men and women who said, “You’re super attractive just not my kind of attractive.” Or this episode here at the 1:06:00 mark where the last woman was rude and seemed to lack self-awareness, pretty much the entire time because she didn’t like that men didn’t find her being (self-admittedly) tipsy on set as attractive (wonder what her thoughts would be if the dynamics were flipped).

If the things that you’re expecting from someone else are what you would side-eye them about if they had the same expectations of you, you are being unrealistic in your expectations. Are you gonna cover the tab for a guy and all of his friends? If you’re attractive and someone says, “I just don’t think I’m attracted attracted” — doesn’t that sound a bit…unnecessarily complicated?

Don’t let these shows have you out here thinking that you can Build-A-Bear a man — that it really is as simple as picking flawlessness from an assembly line of guys. That is delusional thinking at its finest.

3. Ain’t Nothin’ Wrong with Vetting Via Social Media First

Since I don’t have any social media accounts, I was a bit late to the game when it comes to even knowing about Pop the Balloon. That said, since I’m the type of person who likes to give credit where credit is due, my first time really taking it semi-seriously was after watching YouTuber Mediocre Tutorials and Reviews dissecting some episodes. Apparently, one of the things that he does whenever a woman first introduces herself is look up her Instagram handle to check out if her digital footprint actually lines up with how she presents herself on the show —and I get why that would be a wise move.

Before I get into why, I already know what some of you are thinking: people lie on social media all of the time and that would be beyond correct. In fact, one article I read (hey, don’t shoot the messenger) said that millennials do it more than any other living generation with Gen Z not being too far behind — and the motive is all about trying to impress people.

Still, just like many employers look at prospective employees’ social media accounts to see how they conduct themselves (and even how commenters interact with them because that can reveal additional intel, believe it or not), before going on an official date with someone, it can’t hurt to do the same thing and for the same reason — ‘cause hey, even if they do prove themselves to be dishonest in real life, at least you can call them out on it because you already had something to go on via the internet presentation. And that gives you reason to, at the very least, put your guard up, moving forward.

4. Don’t Dish Out What You Can’t Take. Then Rinse and Repeat.

Oh, so many episodes to choose from but, when it comes to this particular point, this (above) is the one that immediately came to mind. I think it’s because if you go around the 20:00 timestamp, this young lady is telling a man that “women are gonna women,” so he shouldn’t take issues with faux lashes, etc. (I also peeped how at around 15:29, she self-professed that she’s “a lot” and then popped her own balloon towards the end of another round at the 40:40 because she thought the guy wasn’t “strong enough” because she needs someone to “pull her in”…whew, chile) and then around the 32:32 timestamp, another young lady literally says to a man, “I like mustaches, I just don’t like yours.”

Now why should one man be ridiculed for his preferences while another should take a woman’s preferences with grace?The hypocrisy is truly all over the place.

And yet, probably why ish like this is so annoying to watch is because, unfortunately, it happens just as much in real life, wouldn’t you say? A great example? Somehow, it’s wisdom for women not to date single fathers and yet, when a man doesn’t want to date a single mom, somehow the word “misogynist” almost always finds its way into the discourse (funny how I don’t see misandry brought up as if that’s not a real thing as well. Hmm…).

There is plenty of data out in cyberspace to support the fact that social media is creating more and more narcissists by the day and three signature traits of narcissism is wanting admiration, can’t take criticism, and feeling entitled, and like you’re more exceptional than others.

That said, if you think that you can tell someone what you don’t like about them and then act like they committed some sort of unpardonable sin for telling you what they don’t like about you — not only could you be leaning into narcissism but you’re also revealing that you really suck at dishing out what you cannot take. And, one way or another, that is gonna bite you in the butter — if not immediately, eventually.

5. Games Are Just That

I always like it when I can find a way to weave a throwback song into my content, and when it comes to this particular point, “Games” by Chuckki Booker wins:

Would you be with me if I had nothing

If I couldn't buy you something

Now you've got your share

And look who's paying

I got your thing together

And you're not staying

I've worked hard

To get the things I have, ooh, oh

I've worked hard

To get the things you need

And I wanna know

Why you wanna play on me?

Why you wanna play your games on me?

I’ll admit that sometimes I get more “triggered” by Pop the Balloon than I actually should. The reason why I choose to frame it that way is that, even though I couldn’t possibly guess the motives for why each contestant comes onto the show (although A LOT of people seem to do it for nothing more than clout), what I do have to keep in mind is it’s pretty much a dating-themed game show at the end of the day — and games are for entertainment purposes more than anything else.

That’s actually why I find it wild that some folks are still emotionally invested in The Bachelor/The Bachelorette franchise or even Married at First Sight at this point. Ever check out the success rate of the couples on those shows? It ain’t even a little bit impressive (read more about that here and here). Oh, and speaking of The Bachelor, you’re in for a real treat if you never got to watch Lifetime’s UnREAL show from back in the day. Rumor has it that former producers from The Bachelor helped to write the scripts and chile…CHILE. Anyway, it’s on Tubi (at least for now). You can check out all four seasons here.

Okay, so all of this dating content that’s on television, streaming channels, and the web? Again, if anyone can find a genuine connection out of them, more power to them— and I mean that sincerely (shout-out to MAFS’ Woody and Amani Randall, for example).

For the most part, though, it’s all a form of game-playing and, in the real world, relationships shouldn’t be treated that way (which is why the approach to dating shouldn’t automatically mimic what you see via that type of programming). And what are some clear signs that someone is playing mind games when it comes to relationships (or potential relationships)?

They gaslight.They love bomb. They are inconsistent with their communication. They send mixed signals. They aren’t clear about where things are or are going — oh, I could go on and on with this one.

Anyway, the biggest takeaway with this point is always to remember that the objective of playing a game is for there to be a winner and a loser at the end of it. Love isn’t like that — not real, healthy, and genuine love. Neither is the process towards getting to it when both people have the right motives. Do you? Does he?

6. Become What You Want

This will be the shortest point of all of my points because its title really covers everything. If you want a man who has good credit, make sure that you do. If guys want a woman who is wise in her sexual-related decisions, they should live the same way. It really is wild — and by that I mean, flat-out crazy — that I can watch shows like Pop the Balloon and people will look at someone crazy for not having a ton of money in their bank account or for not rocking a six-pack…when they don’t.

Listen, if in your mind, it should be a sign of maturity and evolution for someone to have their sh-t together while you don’t — how are you not boldly and totally contradicting yourself? Honestly, living by the motto that you should strive to become what you want in someone else? It’s what helps you to take a mature and even humble approach to dating because if you want others to give you grace for being a “work in progress,” you damn sure need to extend them the same courtesy. Well, if you want karma to be kind to you in the dating world, that is.

And that brings me to my final point.

7. Do You Desire a “Date”? Or an Actual Relationship?

Sometimes, while watching a Pop the Balloon episode, I will roll my eyes all the way in the back of my head because it’s beyond evident that the some of the women just want some high-end date that they can post on their IG page and the guys just want a Coke-bottle that they can try to have sex with as soon as possible. The main thing that makes it all hella evident is the kind of questions that are asked: they’re super superficial and that causes me to think that “they” aren’t looking for love or anything even close to that. It’s all basically an act of opportunism.

And that’s why I’m going to close all of this out with my final takeaway being that, whenever you watch shows like Pop the Balloon and you find yourself wanting to take the same approach that the contestants do, first ask yourself if you desire nothing more than a one-and-done date or do you want something much deeper and fulfilling than that?

If it’s the latter, that’s why I’ve penned articles for the platform before like “6 Things To Discuss On The Second Date. If Either Of You Is A Single Parent.,” “A Male Relationship Coach Shares 7 Questions Women Should Ask Men On The Third Date,” “7 Things People Don't Take Seriously Enough When They First Start Dating Someone,” and “The 'Pre-Commitment Interview' Every Dating Couple Should Have.”

Because, while some folks are wasting time trying to figure out if a guy is at least five inches taller than them when their heels are on (SMDH), people who are serious about making a real connection know that there are far bigger fish to fry than that, chile. In other words, in order to have a deep connection with someone, you need to actually…go deep(er). Yes, deeper than easily 60 percent of the folks tend to do on Pop the Balloon.

____

Is the show close to addicting? Well, I know that I’ve personally spent a couple of hours more than I planned to while talking back to my PC monitor — a few times. LOL. Bottom line, just make sure that it’s more entertainment and even a low-key cautionary tale than anything else.

The search for love requires more than just being uncompromising about how a random stranger looks or having a set of expectations that seem like you want to live out a scripted rom-com rather than actually share a life with an actual human being.

A solid relationship doesn’t come from balloons that you don’t pop. Things of value are never that simple. In real life, leave that mentality to the internet world — not your own, sis. Something tells me that you’ll thank me later, if you do.

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