It's Not You, It's Me: 4 Things Keeping You From Bae

Stingy About Your Time.

I know people like to say be mindful of who you give your time and energy to – this is true. But of that same token, my rule of thumb for any and everyone in my life is "you make time for what you choose to make time for." That shouldn't be any different for me, but I like to make an exception for myself. I find myself cutting conversations short and limiting quality time to whenever I'm bored enough to be bothered.

Your Vibe Says "F*ck Off".

Non-verbals are kinda a big deal, and if your non-verbals say, "Keep it the f*ck moving," well then potential partners might just keep it moving. Personally, my non-verbals can come via my lack of effort in how I dress and my resting b*tch face. There are many days when I go outside putting little thought or energy into how I look overall, just popping in my headphones to ward off catcallers.

You're Difficult to Please.

Two days in, I think it's the greatest thing to happen to life. By the third day, I've found something to begin nitpicking at. My list of pet peeves are endless and those are what I tend to use to write men off. But, pet peeves shouldn't necessarily be deal breakers, especially when they're as minor as someone being "too contemplative." Yet for me...it is.

When a person is good in every other sense but you look for discrepancies so minor that you're not even sure can be characterized as whole character flaws, there's a level of self-reflection that is required.

You've Gotten Too Comfortable.

Generally speaking, you've become way too complacent in your singleness. I find myself thinking, "Oh this is cute and all, but I'm good all by myself." And, there are people who are comfortable being alone, which is not a problem at all, whether they desire something more now or in the future. Hell, I'm one of them because I genuinely am OK alone – I've mastered being alone.

But as someone who has outwardly expressed a desire to have a partner, I have to ask myself if deciding "I'm good alone" is easier than admitting there's still work to be done on my end.

I think my newfound awareness may be God's way of putting the skills I learned on the sidelines to the test and seeing if I'm willing to do the work when He has answered my prayers.

Will you still want love when I send it to you if it doesn't look the way you thought it would? Are you still that person? Are you that hard-headed?

This is what God is speaking to me and so I will speak back with action, showing my willingness to keep doing the work he put in front of me. And I'll continue to do so regardless of what man is or is not in my life.