How To Support Someone Who's Suffered From A Miscarriage

Is it just me or does it seem like infertility is a much more common struggle?

I don't know if it's because we're getting older and realize it more, or if it's truly something that more women are going through way too regularly. I'm at the age where many of my closest friends have attempted to grow their families only to suffer losing an unborn child. It's heartbreaking for me so I can't even fathom how devastating it is for them.

While it seems impossible for me to be there for them because there's no way I can understand, it's not completely out of the question. It's really just about knowing your friend and what she needs from you, if anything.

Here's a few things you can do for your friend to support her after experiencing a miscarriage:

Pray For Her.

Pray with her, when she's not around, and especially when she doesn't ask you to; because in some cases, she won't. Depending on when she shares this news with you, prayer could be the furthest thing from her mind as her pain and devastation take over. That's where your strength comes in to help her out.

Whether it's over the phone, in person, or even through text messages, don't just be a person who says, "Oh girl, I'm praying for you." I think it means more when you actually do it consistently and constantly. She might not tell you she needs it, but there will definitely be indescribably tough moments when your prayers will help her through.

Give Her Hope.

I remember when a girl I didn't know that well told me she and her husband suffered a miscarriage around the time her father-in-law passed away. Talk about unspeakable heartbreak and devastation. I then shared that some of my really close friends had lost their unborn child but now have amazingly healthy and beautiful children.

It was really an encouragement for her to hear that just because she had a miscarriage, didn't mean that she shouldn't have hope to be a mother one day. Now I can add her to that list of my friends who have children because she and husband now have the most adorable baby girl. No matter what it looks like for your friend, give her constant encouragement that there's hope for her too.

Be Supportive In the Way She Needs.

While it's so easy to try and give other options of how your friend can become a mother in hopes of healing her pain, that might not be the best idea based on the type of person she is. Yes, the ideas of adoption and having a surrogate are very possible ways she can live out her dream to be a mom, but that doesn't take away from the fact that her world has been crushed as she lost her child that she developed an unspeakable bond with.

While those options are possibilities, they might not seem the same to her. At least not in the moment. But if she does choose to go that route, you can be the best friend in the world by supporting her decision to the fullest if or when she finally decides.

Ask Her What She Needs.

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Sometimes, as much as we know our friend, we have no idea what they need in the moment. Sometimes, even she won't know what she needs. But when you ask, you're at least letting her know that whatever it is, you got her.

It might be something as simple as taking her children for the day or covering for her shift at work if she needs alone time. I think as long as you're ready to do a huge favor, or even no favor at all, asking her what you can do for her is just one of the ways you can help your friend after her loss.

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