Career & Money
People always talk about the power of networking, and some of us are masters at it. And it's not necessarily just about making a great first impression. It's the follow-up game that leads to real connection and longevity. But there's this sad thing going on, sparked by the isolation of the pandemic and the shifts to remote or hybrid work, where people are losing touch with their networks.
Harvard Business Review reports that people's professional and social networks have decreased by 16 percent. It also found that people with fewer connections at work "have a decreased sense of belonging" and are "less likely to identify with the organization, which puts them at higher risk of turnover and burnout.
Whether you find yourself always being the first one to reach out after meeting a new person or you flop when it comes to really connecting with someone after a session of networking, you're not alone. It's common to struggle with keeping in touch with new people you've met, especially when life starts life-ing, but it doesn't have to be an annoying, petty dance of who's going to call who.
Here are a few steps that have helped me, as an extroverted introvert seeking more adult friendships and new professional connections, keep the good vibes going beyond that first happy hour or conference link-up.
1. Simply put: Unapologetically make the first, second, third, or even fourth move after meeting.
Sometimes, we do have to humble ourselves and put in a bit more effort, especially if our goal for this year (or next) is to expand our network and make new friends or industry-support peers. Reach out for that second, third, or fourth time, even if it feels a bit weird.
At my big age, I recently found myself thinking, "I've already made the first move to keep in touch. Why should I follow up again?" but immediately, in doing the self-work, I was led to the thought, "Why not? Who does it hurt?"
It's really not about a battle of wits or pride but a bottom line of what you really want out of life. Are you willing to let go of a few hang-ups to be that person who reaches out a bit more than you might be used to in order to rebuild or renew your social circle? Does it really matter that you had to call, email, or text more than once in order to finally be able to meet up?
If you find that you're the only one after those first few outings, making the first invites or taking initiative, or your attempts to connect are being ignored, at least you know you gave it your best shot, and you've pushed yourself to grow a bit more in the process of expanding your social circle.
2. Find specific commonalities and build off of that in order to keep the engagement going.
If you meet someone at a conference, for example, make plans to meet up at the next one. Maybe you've found out about a great event that might enhance a new acquaintance's skills or help them in their careers. Invite them to attend with you. Oftentimes, people place value on their time and the people they choose to spend it with, and while relationships shouldn't just be built on a "What can you do for me?" approach, we have to consider that as adults, there should be some sort of common ground that gives the budding new relationship a leg to stand on.
Are you both parents? Maybe a play date for the two of you and your kids is a great option. Newlyweds? Go on a double date. Love to travel and know you're going to be in the same city or country next month? Make real plans to link up or travel together. Into fitness? Schedule walks or fun activities together or coordinate times to meet up at the gym.
Step out on faith, humble yourself, and be open to the possibilities of this, and, above all, have fun with it so it doesn't feel like pressure.
3. Share fun, educational, or relatable information on a regular basis.
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It's great when someone in your network thinks of you and sends a relevant article, program information, or educational tidbit that might help you in your career and vice versa. Again, adding value is part of nurturing adult relationships, and this is a great way to spark conversations, find ways to deeply engage, or show who you are and what you're into.
Whether it's an email, social share, or a quick chat to catch up, find ways to connect with the sharing of useful, fun, or interesting information. It doesn't always take a 30-minute call or long text thread to keep in touch with someone. Sometimes, a simple forwarded email with a mention that you're thinking of someone can go a long way to keep the lines of communication going. This is also a way to be more subtle and less forceful when trying to stay in touch with someone new.
4. Respond to texts, emails, and/or calls within 48 hours.
I know people fight for their lives debating about this online, but I think it's fair to at least acknowledge someone's call, text, or email with a follow-up within at least two days after receipt unless there's a major reason you can't. And even if there is a reason, a simple "I've received your message and will get back to you soon" will suffice. Keep it real if you're super busy or going through something personal so that the person doesn't feel like you're simply brushing them off.
I know, I know. You might be thinking, "We're adults. They should know we get busy and life happens." While this is true, making a commitment to expand your network will require a bit more transparency and trust on your part. You might be stepping out of your comfort zone, but that's what new experiences are all about.
Again, if networking and growing your social and professional circles is really a goal, you have to be available, strategic, and open to actually connecting with people. This isn't something you can do in a casual way since, for these purposes, you truly want to enhance your quality of life by making sure you are interacting with and building relationships with other amazing people.
While you won't be able to force things---as you shouldn't---trying these four simple steps serves as a good starting point to show that you're serious about making and keeping new friends to help you navigate the career success you deserve.
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