Culture & Entertainment
Denzel Washington is a living legend, and somehow, he’s making us fall in love with him even more this year.
The icon has undoubtedly lived a full life, from navigating tough streets and close calls to a 41-year marriage to a strong black woman, four talented children, 50 movies, two Oscars, and three Equalizer films. As he approaches his 70th birthday and the release of Gladiator II, he reflects on the defining moments and experiences that have shaped him with Esquire.
It was unexpected to stumble upon the revelations of Denzel's past struggles with substance abuse in this particular piece. This discovery brought to light a profound truth about the wisdom that often accompanies aging – a sense of shamelessness and an unapologetic embrace of one's true self. It's truly inspiring to witness Denzel Washington embodying this wisdom so gracefully in his 70s because he has been giving it all the way up in interviews this year like never before.
The journey of life is often fraught with challenges and missteps, and it's not uncommon for us to grapple with personal demons along the way. Substance abuse, in particular, can be a formidable adversary that leaves lasting scars. Yet, as Denzel's story suggests, there is hope for redemption and transformation.
Denzel Washington, a revered figure in the entertainment industry, has long been admired for his talent and charisma. However, this revelation adds another layer to his persona – that of a human being who has faced his own struggles and emerged from them with a sense of grace and acceptance. His willingness to acknowledge his past without shame serves as a powerful reminder that we are all flawed and that our imperfections do not diminish our worth.
In Act II the Training Day star talks about how it all started. “Prep school in the seventies: acid! Loootta acid. I said, Ho! My God. Yeah. Ha!” the actor shared. “I was in a little private, semi-military school called Oakland Academy, in New Windsor, New York. Up by Poughkeepsie. My mother sent me up there because I had tested well in school, but I had one foot in the streets. I can’t remember if I was already selling drugs at that point. (Yeahhh, well . . . sometimes you do what you’re around.)”
Denzel recounts his first acid trip, where he was scared by the hallucinations and stayed out in the woods until 4 a.m. His friends laughed off his fears, attributing them to the drug. Denzel also mentions using weed and occasionally alcohol, though he wasn't fond of the latter due to the difficulty of obtaining it in Newburgh.
One of the most powerful messages in this article from Denzel literally brought me to tears:
“Things I said about God when I was a little boy, just reciting them in church along with everybody else, I know now. God is real. God is love. God is the only way. God is the true way. God blesses. It’s my job to lift God up, to give Him praise, to make sure that anyone and everyone I speak to the rest of my life understands that He is responsible for me.
"When you see me, you see the best I could do with what I’ve been given by my lord and savior. I’m unafraid. I don’t care what anyone thinks. See, talking about the fear part of it—you can’t talk like that and win Oscars. You can’t talk like that and party. You can’t say that in this town."
When Kevin Spacey took home the Oscar for American Beauty over Denzel, it triggered something in him. “I went through a time then when Pauletta would watch all the Oscar movies—I told her, I don’t care about that. Hey: They don’t care about me? I don’t care. You vote. You watch them. I ain’t watching that.” He went on to say, “I gave up. I got bitter. My pity party. So I’ll tell you, for about fifteen years, from 1999 to 2014 when I put the beverage down, I was bitter. I don’t even know offhand what movies I made then—I guess John Q, Manchurian Candidate. But I didn’t know I was bitter.”
So, wine became a great way to cope. “Wine is very tricky. It’s very slow. It ain’t like, boom, all of a sudden. And part of it was we built this big house in 1999 with a ten-thousand-bottle wine cellar, and I learned to drink the best.” He would call Gil Turner’s Fine Wines & Spirits on Sunset Boulevard to order two expensive bottles of wine to avoid drinking more.
“I never drank while I was working or preparing. I would clean up, go back to work—I could do both. However many months of shooting, bang, it’s time to go. Then, boom. Three months of wine, then time to go back to work.”
Denzel recognized that drinking was a fifteen-year pattern. His truth: it didn’t start in ’99 — it started earlier and it had more to do with how he grew up with friends like Frank who was a known killer. “It probably started then—well, to be honest, that is where it started. I never got strung out on heroin. Never got strung out on coke. Never got strung out on hard drugs. I shot dope just like they shot dope, but I never got strung out.
"And I never got strung out on liquor. I had this ideal idea of wine tastings and all that—which is what it was at first. And that’s a very subtle thing. I mean, I drank the best. I drank the best. And fifteen years into it: Send me two bottles, and make it good stuff, but just two. And I’d drink them both over the course of the day.”
While he wasn’t drinking when he filmed Flight, where he portrayed William "Whip" Whitaker Sr., an alcoholic airline pilot who miraculously crash-lands his plane after a mechanical failure, he’s sure he did when they wrapped. “That was getting toward the end of the drinking, but I knew a lot about waking up and looking around, not knowing what happened. But look: I was put on this planet to do good. I’ve been blessed with this ability to act, and I’ve tried to use it for goodness’ sake. For God-ness’ sake,” the actor said.
During Flight, he thought about those who had been through addiction, and he wanted good to come out of that. He revealed, “It wasn’t like it was therapeutic. Actually, maybe it was therapeutic! It had to have been.”
Because Denzel’s had so many journeys, so many different kinds of people to play, he named, “And even the heroes—I’m not them. I’m not Stephen Biko. I played Stephen Biko. I’m not Malcolm X. People talk to me like I’m Malcolm X to this day. I’m not Malcolm X. I could not stand up to the pressure that he was under. But I’ve been blessed with the ability to interpret what that does. Be it a leader of the Nation of Islam or a falling-down alcoholic.”
This December marks a decade of Denzel’s sobriety.
“Things are opening up for me now—like being seventy. It’s real. And it’s okay. This is the last chapter—if I get another thirty, what do I want to do? My mother made it to ninety-seven,” he declared.
Just this weekend, on Saturday, Dec. 21 Denzel celebrated a milestone in his faith journey: he was baptized at Kelly Temple Church of God in Christ located in the Harlem, New York City. Proving one of his gems in the article to be more than true, “Even in the darkest stories, I’m looking for the light.”
The Glory actor recognized that it was unusual to officially join a faith community at his age, when he was given the microphone to speak about the important event. "In one week I turn 70. It took a while, but I'm here," Denzel said. Now, he’s got a minister and baptism license to go along with his Oscars and Golden Globe awards.
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Featured image by Noam Galai/Getty Images for SiriusXM
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