Her Voice
I can’t say I always knew I didn’t want children, but I can say I’ve been skeptical for as long as I can remember.
Even as a little girl, when my friends played with dolls and dreamed of one-day becoming mothers, I never felt that same desire. Motherhood simply never interested me. As I got older and my friends started becoming mothers, I became more certain that I wanted to focus on my career, travel the world, and live life on my own terms.
Choosing to be a child-free woman is a personal decision that can come with a range of reactions from society.
For some, the choice to not have children is met with understanding and respect, while for others, it can be met with confusion, judgment, and even discrimination. Regardless of the reactions from others, being a child-free woman is a valid and empowering choice that allows women to live their lives on their own terms.
One of the most significant benefits of being a child-free woman is the freedom it affords. Without the responsibilities and financial burdens that come with raising children, child-free women have the opportunity to pursue their passions and ambitions in a way that may not be possible for parents. These women can focus on their careers, travel, volunteer work, hobbies, and personal growth without having to worry about the time and financial constraints that parenting can bring..
Jasmine Blocker on Instagram: "Mission accomplished 🎀 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - #blackmentalhealth #lululemonambassador #thesweatlife #php #anxiety #depression #healthyliving #selfcare #mentalhealthawareness #blackfitness #trackgirl #blackgirlsrun #wellness #trackandfield #personaltrainer #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #depression #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #lululemon #blackselfcare #childfreebychoice #childfreemillenial #childfree #prochoice"
Another benefit of being child-free is the ability to maintain independence and autonomy. Women who choose not to have children can make decisions about their own lives without having to consider the needs and wants of a child. They can live on their terms, make choices about their bodies, and prioritize their well-being without having to factor in the needs of a child.
However, the enormity of my decision to be child-free isn't lost on me.
Unfortunately, when a woman expresses that she doesn't want to have children, she's often met with skepticism and criticism from others who don't understand her decision. Some asserted that I'd regret my decision and told me I would change my mind eventually, while others accused me of being selfish and not fulfilling my "womanly duties."
Society has traditionally placed a great deal of value on motherhood and family, and women who choose to be child-free can face criticism and even discrimination. Some people may view child-free women as selfish or immature, while others may make assumptions about their motivations for not having children.
Child-free women need to recognize that their decision is valid and should be respected. Just as motherhood is a valid choice, so is the decision to not have children.
Women should be able to make their own choices about their lives without fear of judgment.
Over time, I noticed reactions to my decision did vary. Though some people questioned my decision, others supported my choice or were even inspired by my courage to live so authentically. Whether feedback was positive or negative, I knew that my decision was the right one for me.
Content with my decision to be child-free, and after years of suffering side effects from conventional birth control methods, I began exploring permanent birth control options. It wasn’t long before I decided that tubal ligation, or “getting my tubes tied,” was the right choice for me.
I researched the procedure extensively and found that it was a minimally invasive procedure, requires little downtime for recovery, and the efficacy rate is far higher than birth control pills, IUDs, or even condoms.
On the day of the procedure, I felt a mix of nervousness and excitement. As I lay on the hospital bed, both my doctor and the anesthesiologist talked me through each step of the process and assured me that everything would be okay. Honestly, all of the hospital staff I interacted with made the surgery process an enjoyable and exciting experience!
Once the procedure was over, I immediately felt a sense of relief and freedom. I knew that I had made the right decision for myself and my future. I left the hospital feeling so empowered by my ability to take control of my own body and life.
After having such a positive experience, I was eager to share my experience with others. By sharing on social media, I found support from others who shared my views, and I also hope to inspire other women to be thoughtful and inquisitive when it comes to making choices about their bodies and futures.It is important to recognize that having children is not the only path to happiness and fulfillment.
While some still judge me for my decision, I know that I’m living a life that is true to myself, and that’s all that matters.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image courtesy of Jasmine Blocker
ALSO ON XONECOLE