Mother/Hustler
In xoNecole's Mother/Hustler series, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Have you ever wondered how much of your life is actually about you? From the kids to your job, to your man, to the bills––can you actually say that you spent more than five minutes of your day investing in your damn self? While being self-centered is frowned upon, fashion designer and owner of She. The Collection, Carmen Alexandra wants you to know how important it is for you to designate time every day to center yourself, sis.
Anyone who's ever started a business knows that these entrepreneurial streets ain't easy, but Carmen refuses to let burnout get the upper hand. The blogger knows that you can't pour from an empty cup and says the key to manifesting the overflow you've been looking for is being selfish about your self-care. "You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you," Carmen told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
"You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you. The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
To Carmen, one of the most important lessons she wants to teach her daughter is the power of peace, and she can only do that through action. She explained, "I want my kids to be in tune with their peace, to know that they are in control of their peace of mind. I want them to be able to identify things that disrupt it so they can work through it."
We sat down with this smooth mother/hustler, who spilled all the details on focusing on self-care and securing the bag at the same damn time.
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
CARMEN ALEXANDRA x She. on Instagram: “thank you all for the multiple #blackownedbusiness tags on posts and pages! It’s not easy and every day I’m learning how to work more…”Deep breaths and short meditations keep me sane! I also make lists to help me prioritize and work more efficiently.
What’s the hardest part of your day?
The hardest part of my day is from 4 to 5 pm when I'm trying to ship and make it to the post office. It seems like so many mistakes and errors happen within the hour.
How do you practice self-care?
I take myself to dinner and a movie every Tuesday, and I tell myself plenty of positive affirmations daily.
When do you feel most productive?
CARMEN ALEXANDRA x She. on Instagram: “I’m over this June gloom! Sun wya sis? •• Outfit @shethecollection all headwraps are buy one get one free with code: bogo 😉”I feel most productive Monday through Wednesday when my daughter is with her dad.
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
Home alone, looking crazy---a little medicated, a little tipsy---dancing around my apartment to my favorite songs.
Why was it important to you to be an entrepreneur even though some people may think that a 9 to 5 offers more stability?
CARMEN ALEXANDRA x She. on Instagram: “I can’t get her to stop wearing these damn unicorn shoes 🤦🏽♀️ just ordered another pair too 😩🤣”There's so much beauty in being able to create. I get to make clothes for people around the world, and the clothes make them look and feel good. I get to work with brands that are diverse and make amazing products. A 9 to 5 never fulfilled me.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
Being a mother has taught me balance. I've learned to work productively so I can sit down and enjoy moments and share my creativity with my daughter.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a mom who runs a business?
My biggest challenge was my postpartum body and regaining my confidence. I felt after giving birth I would be able to jump back into my old clothes the same way.
What advice do you have for moms who are looking to start their business but haven’t taken a step out on faith yet?
What are you waiting for girl? The time is now! Take that leap of faith and don't give up. Be consistent and push yourself the way you would push your kid(s) or your best friend.
Do you think it’s important to keep your personal and professional life separate? Why or why not?
I think it's important to be honest about life because it's not as pretty as it is on social media. It's important to balance it. I may tell my followers that co-parenting is hard but I will never dog my daughter's father out because I'm upset that we miscommunicated over something.
As a mogul mommy, what advice do you have about time management?
Write! Make to-do lists with timeframes. It feels amazing scratching things off of that list. And sometimes there are things that need to be moved up, switched to tomorrow, or things that are too time-consuming, which allows you to see that you may need to hire someone to help you.
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
Spending diaries will really show you where your money goes and how you can spend and save more efficiently.
For more Carmen, follow her on Instagram at @caxshe!
Featured image by Instagram/@CarmenAlexandra.
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