The joys of being in the dating stages with a new partner are unmatched. Not only are you able to try new foods, activities, and experiences with each other, but you’re deepening your bond and making lasting memories all the while.
The zeal for exploration is still fresh throughout the honeymoon phase, and planning dates come with the same ease that falling in love did. But there comes a point in every relationship when finding new ways to spend bonding time with bae can feel redundant or even stale — and it’s at that point when it’s time to add a dash of spice back into your date nights.
What Is Alphabet Dating?
A new trend called “alphabet dating” is here to rescue couples from the impending boredom in their dating life. As the name implies, this spin on date nights leaves your next outing in the hands of the alphabet. Starting from A and working their way to Z, daters can organize their plans all by associating them with each letter of the alphabet.
The trend first rose in virality in 2022 from creator Abby Benson-Schwallie, who shared her list of ABC-themed dates on TikTok. Since then, the trend has garnered millions of views from hopeless romantics looking for their next sweet move with their sweetheart.
Okay, So What Is Alphabet Dating?
@t0nit0ne TikTok · TONI TONE
The goal of ABC-dating is to re-spark the excitement of a couple’s dating life when the fire hasn’t quite been flaming the same.
Making time for your significant other is essential to maintaining a thriving love life, but it’s not always as easy when responsibilities, children, and major life shifts come into play. Hitting bouts of boredom in your dating life is natural and doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re headed toward “the end” after a couple of nights in.
However, if you feel like you and your lover are approaching a place where the spice of your dating life is no longer hitting the same, it may be a good time to hit the emergency brakes and add a few new ideas to your date nights.
What Are the Rules for the Alphabet Date?
@honeychocolatedrip A-Z #alphabetdating, countless memories, and even long distance couldn’t keep us apart🫶🏽 🤎 here’s to never stop DATING your partner 💌 • • • • • #atozdating #datingideas #couplesdate #dateideas #alphabetdates #alphabetdateseries #couplesgoals #couplesgoals #dating #datingtips #datingadvice #coupleslove #blackcouples #blacklove #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #longdistancelove #datediaries
What makes this trend so appealing is that you can never really run out of ideas as long as you have the creativity to build new concepts around the alphabet.
Maybe you only want to do S-themed dates for one month and then B-themed dates the next. Or perhaps you want to start at the end of the alphabet and work your way up. Maybe you and your beau are the traveling types, and you want to explore cities that only start with M. Whatever you and your partner choose, there will always be an option available to you, and possibly discover a new hobby together while you’re at it.
To get you started, we’ve put together a list of date night ideas that are boo-, BFF-, and solo-girl-friendly.
Alphabet Dating Ideas From A-Z
A - Art Museum, Arcade
B - Bowling, Bookstore
C - Concert, Cooking Class
D - Drive-In Movies, Dinner At New Restaurant
E - Exercise Class, Exhibit
F - Flea Market, Festival
G - Game Night, Go-Kart
H - Hiking, Home-Movie Night
I - Ice Skating, Ikea Shopping
J - Jazz Club, Jewelry Making
K - Karaoke, Kite Flying on The Beach
L - Laser Tag, Live Band
M - Movies, Mini Golf
N - Night Club, Netflix & Chill
O - Organize Together, Outdoor Camping
P - Picnic, Paint & Sip
Q - Quick Bite to Eat, Quilting Class
R - Road Trip, Random Act of Kindness
S - Sports Game, Spa
T - Theater, Target Run
U - Unplug, Uncommon Date Night
V - Vineyard, Virtual Reality Game Night
W - Wine Tasting, Waterpark
X - X-plore a New City
Y - Yoga, Yacht Day
Z - Zipline, Zoo
Happy dating!
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak