If you're like a lot of women, probably the most thought you give to your breasts is when you're putting your bra on (or when you're taking it off), when you're trying to make the soreness stop while you're PMS'ing, when you're trying to get your partner to give them just the right amount of "attention" during sex and/or when it's time to get a mammogram (by the way, they now say that you should be 45 instead of 40 when it comes to getting them on an annual basis).
But the reality is the more attention we give to our girls, the better our mammary glands—ones that are made up of lobules that produce milk, lymphatic vessels that drain unnecessary fluid and breast tissue—will not only feel but look as well.
If you're wondering about what you can do to get your breasts sundress-, swimsuit- and little black dress-ready, these 10 tips will make you—and them—very happy!
Rinse Your Breasts in Cold Water
I don't know one woman on the planet who doesn't want perky breasts. If this is a personal goal of yours, first it's a good idea to keep in mind what causes breast tissue to sag in the first place—mostly it's genetics, cigarette smoking, drastic weight gain or loss, multiple pregnancies and poor posture.
If you have lost some of your breasts' elasticity, something that you can do is apply some hydrotherapy to them. If you soak them in warm water for about 15 minutes (basically if you take a bath), it will increase blood flow to them. Then, if you rinse them in cold water (basically if you rinse off in a cold shower), that is what will stimulate collagen production so that your breasts look and feel firmer.
Massage Your Breasts with Clove Oil and Olive Oil
Speaking of making your breasts firmer, it can never hurt to massage them for about 10 minutes a couple of times a week. If you do it with a blend of clove oil and olive oil, it can help to (slightly) increase their size and "round out" their shape over time. That's because the warmth of the clove oil also stimulates blood circulation while the properties in olive oil moisturizes the tissues of your breasts, making them supple and soft.
Make sure to warm up the oil combo in your microwave for five seconds or so and massage each breast for 10-15 minutes in a circular motion in order to get the best results.
Soothe Your Nipples with Shea Butter
Unless you're currently breastfeeding, you probably don't give your nipples much thought. But you should. They are a part of your breasts and deserve their fair share of TLC. If lately, you've been noticing that your nipples or your areolas (the ring of skin that surrounds your nipples) are itchy, it could be that they are irritated due to a skin condition like eczema or because your laundry detergent is too strong.
Whether your nipples itch or they are slightly cracked, soothe them by rubbing them down with some shea butter. It's moisturizing, it's healing and it contains anti-inflammatory and antimicrobial properties too. Also, thanks to the emollient and humectant properties that shea butter contains, it can lock in moisture on your nipples so that they stay hydrated for hours at a time.
Just as a heads up, your best bet would be to get the kind of shea butter that is unrefined. That way, you can get it in its purest form; one that has the most concentrated amounts of vitamins and minerals in it.
Keep Your Weight Stabilized
If your breast size is in direct correlation to your breast tissue, losing and gaining weight won't change it very much. So, if you recently lost 25 pounds and you went down a few cups, that usually means your breasts were made up of fat more than anything else. And since maintaining a healthy weight can reduce your chances of having breast cancer post-menopause, this is a good thing to know.
What can happen with a spike in weight gain or loss is it can alter the shape of your breasts and/or cause them to sag. That's because the change in weight directly affects the collagen and elastin in our bodies (breasts included).
Aside from doing your best to keep your weight off of the up and down roller coaster, from a cosmetic standpoint, the non-cosmetic remedy is to invest in bras that have padding in the lower part of the cup so that your breasts will appear plumper and fuller. Something else that can help (although it has a more subtle effect) is to consume foods that are high in collagen. Some of those include garlic, berries, bone broth, quinoa and white tea.
Something else that can perk your breasts up a bit is to apply a collagen mask on them. Combine a kiwi, a peach, three tablespoons of plain Greek yogurt, two teaspoons of lemon juice and a teaspoon of sweet almond oil. Rub the mixture on your breasts, let it sit for 15 minutes and rinse with warm, then cool water. It's one of the most delicious ways to give your breasts an immediate collagen boost!
Eat Some Sweet Potatoes, Salmon and Red Grapes
We are what we eat. There is certainly a lot of truth to that. The next time you head out to the grocery store, do your breasts a favor and pick up a couple of foods that they will totally thank you for.
For instance, if you have a history of breast cancer in your family, it can't hurt to eat foods that are high in carotenoids. They're the kinds of foods that are loaded with carotene. This is great because studies reveal that the more carotenes that are in our system, the lower risk we have of being diagnosed with breast cancer. Sweet potatoes are one food that fits the bill.
Something else that our breasts need is omega-3 oils. They are responsible for keeping inflammation in the body low; the more omega-3s, the less disease (cancer included). Salmon has plenty of it.
And finally, red grapes. They're the kind of fruit that contains a natural phenol known as resveratrol. What's so good about that is not only does resveratrol have the ability to lower your blood pressure and protect your brain, it also neutralizes free radicals in your system, keeping cancer cells at bay.
Fun fact: Resveratrol is also found in red wine too (woo-hoo)!
Take a Sulforaphane Supplement
GiphyIf you've never heard of sulforaphane, don't feel bad. I'd venture to say that most people haven't. Basically, it's a compound that's found in foods like broccoli, cauliflower, kale, cabbage and collards that not only reverses the signs of aging, but also decreases the progression of cancer cells in the body too. As a bonus, something else that sulforaphane does is decrease how carcinogens impact our system.
If you don't like to eat a ton of veggies, you can also take sulforaphane in supplement form. Speaking of supplements, if you want to take something that will make your breasts appear fuller (or can help your breastmilk to come in easier if you are a new mommy), fenugreek is pretty awesome too.
Do Breast-Firming Exercises
GiphyIf you can't remember the last time you even attempted to do a push-up, maybe your breasts will motivate you to take another crack at it. Truth is, a lot of us have saggy breast tissue simply because the muscles underneath our breasts could stand to get bigger. The remedy? Do the kind of exercises that will expand the mass of your chest muscles.
Push-ups are just one example. If you want more, click here for a way to get your chest (back) into shape.
Wear a Bra That Actually Fits
Breast tissue needs support; that's why we wear bras. You've probably heard somewhere that a whopping 80 percent of women wear the wrong bra size, but what you might secretly wonder is how can you know for sure that your bra fits well. For starters, your bra's band needs to comfortably fit around your torso. The part of your bra that attaches the cups together should lay flat on your body. If you're wearing an underwire bra, the wire should fit right underneath each breast. Also, each of your bra straps should fit comfortably on your shoulders.
If it's been a couple of years since you've been professionally fitted for a bra, I know from personal experience that you should get fitted ASAP. The last time I went (last year), I thought I was a DDD. Nope. Sistah girl is an H. (Chiiiiile.)
Make a DIY Bronzer
If you're planning on wearing something low cut and you want your cleavage to look extra sexy, one of the easiest ways to make that happen is to apply a little bronzer to your breasts. I've done it before and it gives your skin a youthful glow that is, incomparable, really.
You can buy some, but I prefer to make my own. All you need to do is mix a little cocoa powder, ground cinnamon and mica powder if you want a hint of shimmer added in. Use a large make-up brush to dust it onto each breast and, I promise, even you won't get enough of looking at 'em!
Sleep on Your Back
Final one. While sleeping on your back definitely increases the chances of you snoring (more), it's one of the best positions for your breasts. The reason being, whenever you sleep on your side or stomach, it causes your breasts to droop all throughout the night and that can ultimately lead to sagging and wrinkly breast skin.
So, if you wanna know how to improve the appearance of your breasts even while you're asleep, spending more time on your back is the way to do it. Sweet dreams.
Featured image by Getty Images
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- 10 All-Natural Ways To Show Your Breasts Some Love - xoNecole ... ›
- 10 Foods For Good Breast Health, Healthy Breasts - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
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- Amazing Facts About Nipples - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Ne-Yo Says Living His Truth As A Polyamorous Person Improved His Relationship With Ex-Wife Crystal Renay
Ne-Yo is finally living in his truth and feels better than ever. The singer sat down with event planner Karleen Roy for her YouTube show, Lemon Drop, and opened up about his polyamorous lifestyle. "I realized that I've not been living my truth for a very, very long time. I'm living it now, and you could tell my skin is glowing," he joked.
"I'm in a great space, great space, mentally, emotionally, and everything else. I'm in a really good space, and I realized that everything is not for everybody. I know you've heard that said before. It is some of the truest shit that anyone has ever said."
The award-winning singer/ songwriter was previously married to Crystal Renay, and they share three children together. He also has two kids from his ex-fiancée, Monyetta Shaw. Following his divorce from Crystal, Ne-Yo made headlines when he revealed that he was in a relationship with more than one woman. According to the "So Sick" artist, he realized monogamy wasn't for him.
"Society tells you that you're supposed to be with one person, you get married, and y'all supposed to be together forever. I am not shitting on marriage. I am not shitting on anyone who has figured out how to make that thing work for them. Again, everything's not for everybody. Monogamy is for you. It's not for me," he said. "I realized this. I know this now, and it's like a weight lifted off my shoulders."
Ne-Yo explained how he spent his life lying about who he was to appease others and that now that he is open about his lifestyle, it allows the right people to gravitate toward him. This newfound freedom, he said, has even helped him to improve his relationships with other people, including Crystal.
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
"The reality is this, you're either going to be, again, unapologetically who you are, or you're going to spend a whole lot of time lying, trying to be somebody that you're not," he said.
"I spent a lot of time lying, trying to be somebody that I was not, and now that I realize who I am, it's like all of my relationships have improved from friendships on down to my ex-wife. We're actually at the place we can call each other friend again, because now it's, this is me. This is me. This is who I am. Love it or leave it alone."
The former couple first got married in February 2016, but after four years, they announced they were separating. However, they reconciled and renewed their vows in April 2021. Their reunion didn't last long, though, as the reality TV star accused the "Champagne Life" singer of continually cheating on her. Their divorce was finalized in January 2023.
When Crystal spoke with xoNecole in March, the model said that she was still healing from her divorce and is currently rebuilding her life. She offered tips to others who may be facing a similar dilemma.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she told us.
“But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
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Feature image by Jeff Schear/Getty Images for FanDuel