This Millennial Influencer Believes The Key To Online Success Is To 'Resonate'
"Influencer" is a buzzword that has been iterated and reiterated time and time again as social media has altered the way we receive news, become put on to brands, and like what we like.
Alex Wolf is one of the many millennial influencers out there, and placing her stamp on the social media game one post at a time and with masterful creations like her book Resonate: For Anyone Who Wants To Build An Audience. What some of you might not know, the award-winning author has been on the internet for as long as she can remember, even before it developed into the beast it is today. Alex began her brand-building prowess with not-so-humble beginnings as the previous founder of Boss Babe, the well-known mecca for all things entrepreneurial (and with an incomparable female-focused following to match).
Alex WolfThe Culture Supplier
Shortly after the brand took off, Alex realized that it just wasn't something that she was passionate about anymore and opted to sell the business. She chose to focus on things that mattered to her, like human connection and how the advancements of technology affect it. In her book, Alex provides a detailed breakdown on how social media culture has contributed to the resounding feeling of loneliness and why authenticity will always be in. "If you use it (social media) the way we are conditioned to now, to only show off and follow people broadcasting the most flattering moments of life, the sensation of loneliness will crawl right over you like a demon," Alex tells xoNecole.
For her, one's power in the digital age will always lie in their ability to resonate.
Alex Wolf
Resonate
No matter how advanced the algorithms of the Internet become, they just can't seem to master the science of resonating connection. Businesses like Snapchat create ads done in poor taste that actually appeal to none of our interests. And in attempts to compete with the big dogs we, the artists, the influencers, the people, curate perfect feeds to create magazine-worthy aesthetics and drop quotes from dead poets that pair perfectly with an artsy picture of oranges (swiped from Pinterest of course). I'm not judging, I've done it too. The corporate rat race has been replaced with a social media rat race of sorts.
We pine over likes and followers and attend webinars on "engagement"; but it seems the more we post and scroll, the lonelier we feel. Are we missing the whole point? "To be alive is to share together the experience of being human – we all get to feel what it's like to want, to wish, to have, to lose. The more we remember that, the less we'll panic when it feels like we're going through this alone," Alex shares.
Somehow we've allowed these screens and the images on them to isolate us into believing that everyone else is exempt from the daily human struggle to live, freely and happily. The most popular and influential of influencers are not those that portray an attitude of perfection, but rather the Luvvies and the Issa Raes of the world that trade in "perfection" for "authenticity." In her book Resonate, Alex notes that we can get away with skipping some of the most popular books on marketing if you replace them with ones on psychology and anthropology.
Artists like Cardi B built their fan bases simply by being themselves - unfiltered, omitting the need for marketing strategies and overly-produced social media accounts. They hop on a live with the babies running around in the background and do what they do. Their audiences connects with them simply because they can relate and see themselves in the stories they tell through their art.
Resonating connections are fostered and created from those "Oh, you too girl?" moments. The split second where you pause and nod in agreement, realizing that someone else gets it. The involuntary "mmmph" you let out when taking in the latest fire mixtape with punch lines so vivid that they literally punch you in the gut. It's that same resonating connection that created a stan out of Stan (think 2000 Eminem).
Alex reminds us that it's about being compassionate with ourselves about our truths, and to not just wear our truths on the inside, but outside as well. "It works as signage. Showing how accommodating you are with your humanness, which will attract others who will be accommodating with it as well."
Success happens when you give people no choice but to accept you as you are.
Creatives and Authenticity
The 26-year-old Brooklyn native has managed to navigate adulting thus far without a "real" job. For that, her inclination towards creativity receives all the blame. And by extension, as a creative, she believes that the concept of "professionalism" is beside the point when trying to change the world or be authentic. She's done her fair share of research, in combination with lived experience, and concludes that much of how the world runs has nothing to do with professionalism. While she isn't suggesting that we walk around cursing like a sailor, rocking your name chain and Jordans, she is asking that if that's who you are, please bring her into the room with you when you decide that you're ready to stake your claim in the world and find your tribe.
Speaking of our tribe, we all have that friend with the painfully dope work who refuses to put themselves out there and maximize their potential. In Resonate, Alex refers to this period in the creative career path as the Starving Artist Phase – you know the stage where you associate making money with being evil, as if there is some type of honor in struggling because you're surviving off your last gig for the next three months. As stated by philosopher Alan Watts, there's a paradigm shift that has to take place where we realize that "money is a system of 'cosmic bookkeeping'."
It's easy to see how and why this would confuse a creative whose sole mission is to simply make dope ish, but Alex wants us to remember that the more we realize what it actually is, the less intimidating it becomes. You can still create authentically and run a profitable business while remaining free.
Alex Wolf
Building Audiences
"The way to build an audience will never change as long as the audience you're trying to build is made up of human beings." - Resonate, Alex Wolf
When we think of building an audience, whether for professional purposes or simply for enjoyment, Alex suggests we look at the last few screenshots in our phones - the memes and images we save simply because of how they made us feel. If we hope to create lasting connection, we should first ask ourselves, "Would anyone care to save this?"
We should create with passion and deliver so much value that whatever it is you create would never be easily disposed of. "It should be obvious through your effort that things like this are too nice. They were made deliberately, [not] to be thrown away or forgotten about."
Whatever it is that we put out into the world should cause our audiences to ask, "Who is this girl?" After all, we are the generation of the search engine. When you produce something meaningful, the people that like and buy our stuff feel compelled to share our work all on their own. We can omit the tacky marketing ploys and just create. Alex mentions that this approach may not automatically translate into followers and likes, but it will allow you to build a community that engages and genuinely enjoys what it is that you produce. "Don't underestimate the extent humans are willing to explore the massive complexities of the world just to find bits and pieces of them."
And now that you've built something for the people, you can sit back and watch that one follower grow to a clump of followers, and eventually develop into a cluster of followers that become a fully bloomed audience. The idea eventually becomes popular enough to exist as a separate entity and "ideas don't die," Alex emphasizes.
When we really find something that we absolutely love, we can't resist the urge to share and the internet as we know it has given us the tools to do so with the click of a button.
Alex's message as a branding afficianado is clear – stop panicking over followers. Follower counts and likes shouldn't be used as the new metric system to measure one's impact and significance. All you really need is a few people that feel you.
One resonating connection is still connection.
To keep up with Alex, be sure to give her a follow on Instagram. Purchase her book here.
- How To Make Money Online, Ways To Earn Income - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Danielle Smith is a Toronto-based Personal Development Junkie on the gram @youbettaglowgirl. She keeps her hands full as a Writer, Speaker, Stylist & Non-Profit Founder, all while doing her most important job as a full-time mama of one. Marching to the beat of her own drum and a playlist of her favourite 90s R&B, she's blazed a path of her own.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert