If there's anything I've learned about job searches in the past few weeks it's that looking for a job is strangely similar to dating. You walk into these companies hoping that you'll click, and even when that doesn't happen your feelings are still kind of hurt when they don't call. The only difference is that after a bad date, you can still pay your car note.
Welcome to the wonderful world of #funemployment.
Although, it stopped being fun a few weeks ago when I realized I was about halfway through my unemployment benefits and the rejection letters started trickling in. The perks of being unemployed? There's way less laundry to do since most days you can find me in leggings and a sweater. I also have the luxury of being bra-free most days. And I've been spending way less money on lunch since I'm not stuck in an office in Center City Philadelphia all day.
But I must admit, some days I go a little stir-crazy since taking on my almost two-year-old daughter full-time. In between being unable to shake the Doc McStuffins theme song from my head, I have the daily tasks of keeping her from snacking on Crayola's Autumn Collection of colors or playing hide and seek with the dirty diaper she's snatched off and hidden.
Mondays are the hardest. I guess it's because after a weekend of feeling like you're just like everyone else catching a movie, shopping at the mall, or having a lazy Sunday. Monday morning comes and quickly reminds you as the cars clear the block and your friends can no longer text you right back that you're unemployed and the only thing you're running late for is an episode of The Real.
Last Monday was particularly upsetting because I woke up to a rejection letter. (By the way, a suggestion to companies: Send rejection letters out on Fridays. I can't take shots of rum on Monday morning. I still have SOME dignity). It wasn't the first rejection letter but it definitely wasn't one I saw coming.
After writing "Underpaid and Unappreciated: Why More Millennials Have Less Job Loyalty", a piece in which I vented about recently being laid off, I decided that I had come to a point in my career where I refused to settle for any position in which my passion and creativity couldn't be appreciated.
Still, I narrowed my job search to jobs whose descriptions got me excited and that would challenge me, and no one could tell me that I didn't have this one particular position in the bag. I had more than enough experience in the field working with youth and after snagging the first interview I learned that I had collaborated with employees of the organization in the past on projects through my old job. I made it to the interview in an ideal 15 minutes early and sailed through the interview with flying colors.
It all made perfect sense. In fact, it was all a little too perfect...and predictable. As I sat in the parking lot afterwards I couldn't shake a dread in the pit of my stomach that the position was way too reminiscent of the job I just had...and hated. Although the work excited me I got the familiar vibe of the type of management I resented, right down to the weird resemblance of this company's CEO to the one at my former employer.
Still I figured I'd take the second interview. If I was offered the position, I'd at least be getting a steady paycheck until I got the job I really wanted. The second interview went well enough, but I still didn't feel like I was quite connecting with the culture of the company. I was reminded that job interviews are as much about you evaluating your level of comfort with the company as they are about the interviewer getting a feel for if you're a good fit for the position.
Once again I found myself doubting if my creative ideas and youthful personality would be a good match for the company. When I got that email stating they decided to go in a "different direction" I knew it was a sign saying that I needed to as well. That position was nothing but my old job with a new name. And it wasn't the growth or challenge that I was praying for no matter how qualified I was for it.
That doesn't mean I didn't take a day to cry like K-Ci and Jojo during a Sunday sermon that hits a little too close to home.
These past three months have been a roller-coaster of emotions that have made me question my self-worth, work ethic and educational path daily. One week I'm picking out interview clothes and the next week my biggest decision is whether to clean the bathroom or kitchen first. But before I found myself discounting my progress and breaking down, I was reminded of something Adrienne Bailon co-host on talk show The Real recently revealed on a segment called “What Shaped You?" :
“When you grow up and you have dreams and goals and you tell yourself you're gonna go for them, I went for my dreams and actually made it into a girl group called 3LW. I don't know if people remember 3LW. Loved that group…ummm…but at some point that started falling apart for us. And I remember having to go back home. I had like been on TRL and done things before and I was really proud of that success. But I remember when I thought it was over and I remember just feeling like, 'Well then I guess I'll just go home.' Right, like, but feeling a little embarrassed and like a failure. Like it had been a failure. But that moment in my life taught me so much. Going back home and even though other opportunities came years later, at that point you don't see that. You just think it's over. That like, this is it. This is the end of my career. I won't go anywhere else with it. And the crazy thing about learning to go home, is that I'm OK with going home."
Bailon went on to explain that as much as she appreciates the opportunities she's been blessed with, she learned her career wasn't everything and that there was a whole life outside her work as a musician that held just as much merit including the love of her family and friends. What hit home for me was how she emphasized that success often resembles a roller coaster more than it does a straight staircase:
“I've been poor. I've been rich. I've been poor again."
Rough patches have a tendency to make us think that out present day misery will somehow set the tone for our entire lives.
What I learned from Adrienne's experience was that I am so much more than my success just like I am more than my failures. A rejection letter is not a rejection of who I am as a person, but simply a career opportunity that wasn't the best fit for me. Don't get me wrong, rejection is never easy, but you can't allow one person's opinion or one experience to define your whole identity as a person.
Most importantly rejection teaches you that the thing you once thought was the worst thing in the world that you didn't think you'd ever get through…You'll live through it. More than that, you can thrive in spite of it. When I first got laid off, my imagination did the most. All I could picture was the mid-sized sedan I had worked so hard for to get on my own on a towing bed because I couldn't make the payments. I thought my credit score would plummet faster than the neckline on Jennifer Lopez's Grammy gown and everything I had worked so hard for was a waste.
Luckily, with the help of a good support system and six months of unemployment benefits, I've been spared for a little while. But even if those things were to happen, I'd still be OK. Because I am so much more than my credit score, a mid-sized sedan or a fancy title on a business card.
[Tweet "The hardest moments of your life will teach you about what you are made of"]
Although your hardest moments in life may seem more painful than anything, those are the times that will teach you about what you are made of more than anything else. I'm excited about whatever career opportunities may await in my future, but for now I'm appreciating the time I get to spend with my daughter, my husband and even my readers. I know that first job layoff may not even be my last, but the difference is that next time I know I'll get through it and those of us that are lucky enough can always go home, which I'm learning isn't the worst place to be.
See Adrienne Bailon reveal what shaped her below:
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert