Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
Dora Belle is more than your average pretty girl from Long Island, New York - she's an entrepreneur, accountant, and the founder of The Tax Collective. The Brooklyn-based beauty successfully runs a tax firm that focuses on small- and mid-size businesses, startups, and tax audits while keeping her personal finances in check. As a licensed enrolled agent who possesses the ability to represent her clients in tax court, she has proven that being a beautiful woman can include brilliance and crunching numbers.
Courtesy of Dora Belle
When the St. John's University honors graduate was asked by xoNecole about the worst money or business-related decision she's ever made, Dora responded, "I didn't trust my gut." Clearly as someone who has worked for New York State Department of Taxation and Finance, Morgan Stanley, and Ernst & Young in the Private Client Services group where she specialized in high-net worth individuals with assets in management of over $2 million, her intuition hasn't steered her too far in the wrong direction.
xoNecole had the chance to catch up with The Tax Collective founder for the latest installment of "Money Talks" about traveling through Europe, the importance of investing, and leaving corporate America:
On how much she tries to save per month:
"It depends on the month. My income is not received evenly throughout the year. I have high seasons and low [seasons]. Like during tax season when I'm the busiest, I save over 50% of my income. In the low season, when I'm just managing audits and notices, I try to put away at least 20% of my earnings every month."
"I have high seasons and low [seasons]. Like during tax season when I'm the busiest, I save over 50% of my income. In the low season, when I'm just managing audits and notices, I try to put away at least 20% of my earnings every month."
On whether her savings are in a high-yield savings or a Roth IRA:
"I don't believe the high-yield savings accounts are worth it. On average, you make around $300 a year for every $10,000 you deposit. I tend to recommend Roth IRAs more to my clients. It's especially great for first-time investors. It's a retirement account that you can play with where your money is invested and it grows tax free."
Courtesy of Dora Belle
On defining wealth and success:
"Before I give my opinion on this, I encourage everyone to really think about what these words mean to them individually. It's a large sliding scale when we start to ask the question, 'Am I successful and/or wealthy?', and you should not think about anyone but yourself. You're on your own pace. Be kind to yourself but also be realistic.
"Wealth to me is financial freedom. Financial freedom for me is when all of my student loans are paid off, no credit card debt, and I'm paying a mortgage and not rent. Success and wealth are two different ideas for me. I define success as happiness and being grounded in what I do for a living."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances:
"Now looking back, the lowest was [when I was] living check to check. Not having a savings account and waiting on clients to pay me in order to pay my bills for the month. But while it was happening, I was in the midst of the hustle. I never felt any pain. I never felt low. You have to build brick by brick and just keep going."
On how she overcame it:
"By making more money! (Laughs) I work a lot, sometimes from 8am til 11pm every day, but every hour is worth it when I look at my growth as a business owner from Year 1 to now Year 3. I had to take more risks and put myself and my business out there. I now have multiple streams of income and I don't depend on any one client to make ends meet."
On her biggest splurge so far and why she purchased it:
"My biggest splurge since being an entrepreneur was in 2018 when I traveled to 11 cities in Europe over eight weeks. It was my first year as an entrepreneur and I did it only because I could [and] I finally owned all of my time. Looking back, I could have reinvested that money into my business. But then again, the memories I have are irreplaceable."
On whether she’s a spender versus a saver and how she trains herself to save money:
"I'm somewhere in between, but I'm disciplined when I want something. Saving can actually become addicting. Saving my first $1,000 as a self-employed person was one of the hardest things I ever did. I reinvest my earnings as much as possible, but once I saved the first $1,000 dollars, it became addicting to keep seeing the number increase."
"I believe your 30s are for setting up your 40s. Your 40s are for setting up your 50s. You have to invest in yourself first. I think about the type of life I want to live when I'm 40. Or when I have children. So, I'm actively trying to set myself up with residual income."
Courtesy of Dora Belle
On the importance of investing:
"Investing is extremely important. I invest in real estate, art, and stocks. I believe your 30s are for setting up your 40s. Your 40s are for setting up your 50s. You have to invest in yourself first. I think about the type of life I want to live when I'm 40. Or when I have children. So, I'm actively trying to set myself up with residual income.
"I'm in the stage right now ready to purchase my first piece of property and I'm looking for multi-family homes so I can collect rent. The ultimate goal is to make money while I'm sleeping.
"Investing in art is something I highly recommend. You don't need a large budget to start. Start with your local gallery. Go there and jot down some artist names. Go home and research them. Look at their followers and who they're following. You're looking for other artists that they follow, who are just beginning their career. You can buy a piece for $800 sometimes that could be worth thousands of dollars.
"Stocks are the riskiest of the bunch but can turn into a fun hobby for you. It's all based on your taste. Where do you think the economy is moving to? What industry do you think will be next after the economy recovers from the COVID-19 pandemic? You should read articles to research the company and review their financial statements before investing anything. Look at how much debt is sitting on their books. Look at how liquid they are (cash readily available). Research indicators that experts use to determine a company's short-term and long-term growth. But ultimately, it is based on your taste for the company, your preference. It's your money, don't let any one article or anyone tell you how to spend it."
On establishing streams of revenue and her intentions behind it:
"I went to school for accounting. I have my Bachelor's Degree in Accounting and my Master's Degree in Taxation, so my revenue streams range from accounting, tax preparation, tax strategy, and tax audits. I work with companies with $2 million plus in assets and companies who are just beginning with just their savings account and a dream. The intention is to never be broke! (Laughs) I don't ask anyone for anything and I want to keep it that way."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"When I had a 9-5, I would go out on the weekends and not check my bank account til Monday or worse when I was forced to because I received an alert. I absolutely cannot run my business like that. I have a spreadsheet for my recurring monthly expenses and automated systems that calculate my income for the month. Knowing where you stand as far as your bank account balance and credit score is the most important money lesson I've ever learned. It starts there."
"Knowing where you stand as far as your bank account balance and credit score is the most important money lesson I've ever learned. It starts there."
Courtesy of Dora Belle
On the change she saw once she changed her mindset:
"A savings account was birthed from it. Not living check to check was [also] birthed, and the ability to hire my first employee who works with me all year."
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I've never done anything crazy for money. All money is not good money. I left Corporate America because my peace and sanity is more important to me than making money. I decline new clients if my gut tells me my peace is going to be interrupted."
On the money mantra she swears by:
"You can be intimidated to do the work or you can be broke. The work is the research for the things you are curious about that you believe can make you money. We are all intimidated at one time or another when it comes to a new venture. But you have to take risks. You have to execute. You can't want a thing and be afraid of that same thing."
For more of Dora, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Dora Belle
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images