Whenever I tell someone I took a 3-year honeymoon, their reaction is usually a mix of confusion and admiration, which quickly manifests into a stream of countless questions as they try to understand how and why I've created this lifestyle.
Two years ago, I wrote an article on this same platform explaining the 'how' behind my indefinite honeymoon with my husband Jarrell. I hope to now answer the "why."
Two years out of college, I was working a career that I hated, missing my days on the yard at Howard University. My paycheck was far from fulfillment, although it afforded me my modern apartment on Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles, weekly brunches followed by boutique shopping excursions, and regular vacations around the country. I had a lot of things, but I didn't really know who I was, or even what I wanted.
I had my life planned for as long as I could remember. First college, then a career after graduation, before marrying the perfect man, mortgaging a house, leasing a car, and having a couple of kids. These steps were securely drilled into my subconscious, but no one ever talked to me about creating the lifestyle I wanted, or defining success on my own. Everyone around me seemed to be in the same rat race, so it was easy to get comfortable in my routine.
Istanbul
Then, my life seemed as if it were going to take an adventurous and exciting turn for the best, my boss recommended me for a position in Canada! I was ecstatic at the thought of living abroad; it was always one of my dreams. I was lucky enough not to get the one thing I wanted so badly. It's funny how life works that way. Had I gotten that job, I wouldn't be in Asia now, but in that moment it seemed like the best opportunity in the world.
While not receiving that job was devastating at the time, it was just what I needed in my life, because it showed me what I truly wanted. Once I admitted to myself how strongly I desired to travel and live abroad, I could no longer deny it. So I decided to make my dream come true. I didn't need a job to send me anywhere; I could go on my own!
One day, sitting in my tiny office at the job I hated, I decided to quit my career and make my dream of traveling the world a reality. I called my sister, my best friend, and Jarrell, to share my big news. My sister and best friend thought I was crazy and tried their best to talk me off the ledge, but Jarrell thought my idea was brilliant. He was so excited for me that I thought there might be a chance he would be crazy enough to come along with me. So I proposed traveling together, and he proposed marriage.
After a wedding in Vegas, we spent a year in our hometown of Columbus, Ohio, before setting out on our indefinite honeymoon around the world. In the first year of our honeymoon, we focused on our respective passions (I am a writer, Jarrell is an artist), and not running out of money. So we traveled based on opportunities, rather than our wanderlust desires and tried to save as much money as possible, which led to the tips I share in my free eBook, 101 Ways To Travel The World For Less Than $10 A Day.
In the second year of our honeymoon, we decided we were going to travel how and where we wanted. So we focused on Jarrell's dream of entrepreneurship and launched two successful online businesses, which now afford us more of a luxury travel experience. In my article written around this time last year, I proclaimed that in 2015 we would travel to England, Paris, Amsterdam, Morocco, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, and India.
Amsterdam, Netherlands
At that time we had no actual travel bookings, we simply drafted up our dream itinerary for the year and those destinations were our top choices. I am very proud to say that Egypt was the only place we missed, after falling in love with Istanbul and altering our plans. In addition, Jarrell surprised me with a weeklong trip to Rome to celebrate my birthday, with a pizza party in Naples on my actual birthday. We also visited Belgium, Germany and Kyrgyzstan briefly.
Together we have learned to prioritize each other's dreams and goals together, before achieving them as a team. We are enjoying the fruits of our labor and sacrifices, as new opportunities present themselves daily. We didn't know what we were doing, but we did it. No, it hasn't all been beautiful sunsets and beaches, but the sunset over The Arabian Sea is breathtaking, and floating in The Mediterranean Sea is magical – and those are memories we experienced together and will cherish forever.
We wanted to take the first years of our marriage to focus on us. I wanted to fall in love over and over, as we are able to be selfish and indulgent in our love. We wanted to build a family together, and we knew that would take a strong foundation. Our goal is to have our children become additions to a strong family unit, rather than the binding glue that holds us together. We know that parenthood will be an exciting and adventurous journey as well, and we look forward to sharing with our future children just how much fun we had planning for them.
Here are some of the highlights from our travels since my last article.
Paris
Paris, France
We celebrated Valentine's Day in Paris and had a ball getting lost on the Parisian streets, admiring the beautiful architecture.
We rented a beautiful apartment in the Latin Quarter and ate way too many baguettes and macaroons.
Morocco
Guelmim, Morocco
Morocco was a life changing experience for us. We spent three months in the country and really fell in love with the culture, and the people.
Greece
We celebrated our third wedding anniversary on Crete, the largest Greek island. We lived in a small village and spent our time exploring and eating gyros.
The Mediterranean Sea is the most beautiful body of water I have ever seen. We regularly spent days at the beach, floating in the sea.
Istanbul
Istanbul, Turkey
Istanbul is my favorite city in the world. The modern part of the city gives me strong NYC vibes, with a complete alternative in the old city, filled with beautiful mosques and monuments.
India
We spent Christmas and New Years in Goa, India, which is absolutely beautiful. Situated along the Arabian Sea, there are countless beaches and the food is amazing!
I can't begin to explain how beneficial our indefinite honeymoon has been for us, but I can tell you, without a doubt, that in our third year abroad we are more happy and in love than ever.
You can follow our Indefinite Honeymoon on my blog Indefinite Honeymoon.com
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak