Dear Body:
I have taken you for granted, forsaken you, and lacked appreciation. I've fed you lies, and I didn't take pride in what I had. I hid you on the days I wanted to reveal you. I questioned you when I couldn't believe my eyes. I manipulated you, and I didn't put you on the list as my No. 1 priority. I've sat back and allowed you to dwindle. I've ignored you when you would beg for my attention. At times you would act out in front of your friend's inflammation and soreness. I can feel the resentment you have against me. You should be angry, sad, and filled with trauma. I didn't cherish the love I should have with you. I was ignorant in thinking that in time you will be healed or if I ignored your screams, you would finally keep quiet.
I knew of you, but I chose not to get to know you. I read up on how you function but was never interested enough to apply what I read.
In my teens and early 20s, I would starve you and didn't feed you the nutrients you deserved. I didn't stretch you or take you out on walks. On the days I decided to listen to you, it was too late. By the end of the day, I no longer had it in me to take care of you. I was depleted, tired, and ran down. In my mind, the only way I knew how to heal you was to lie down. I would lie down for twenty minutes to only work my eyes to death, staring at a screen that doesn't give me life. I allowed my brain to be polluted with lies. I didn't train my mind as I should have.
I didn't love you, and that's what hurts the most. I allowed outside influences, such as fast-food peer pressure, to lead me into thinking I was doing the right thing. As your roommate, I'm saddened that I allowed us to get to this point. I've made a plethora of promises to get better, and I've failed you.
I say all of this to say, thank you. I thank you for continuously giving me a second chance every day. I thank you for showing patience. I thank you for forgiving me before I make another mistake. I am humbled and blessed to have a friend so loyal and kind.
In seven months, I will be 34, and before that lucky day arrives, I want to do everything in my power to make sure my body will be present on that particular day. I know, I know. We've had this song and dance too many times. I've let that woman dictate when to care for you. I've realized that it is a must that I preserve my body. Any subtle changes to my lifestyle would make you appreciate my love for you more. I can no longer sit on the sidelines on a hot California day and not want to reveal you to the world and take a dip in the pool to keep you cool.
I can no longer get anxiety walking into a department store, hoping and praying that "something fits", and I can't let how I see you dictate how I internally feel.
For any of us to start loving our bodies, we have to be truthful and meditate on the journey. Once you become open to seeing all of your faults, you can make the necessary first steps. I think we as women have gotten it mixed up. It's evident that we all aren't the same in height, shape, and DNA. I think it's time to think of our bodies as an investment for longevity. We have to be mindful of what we feed our bodies for the long term.
We should start loving and embracing how certain things make us feel. I can do it. We can do it. Let's enjoy our bodies together and change the narrative of what health and self-esteem look and feel like.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak