Over the years, celebrities have served as a source of inspiration for fans worldwide, showcasing their remarkable journeys toward personal and professional success.
However, recently, many have offered glimpses into their love lives, sharing valuable insights about how they have manifested their romantic relationships. The act of manifesting, which is turning a thought or an idea into reality, isn't something new.
According to The Guardian, the concept was previously introduced in the 19th century and made its "resurgence in 2006" thanks to the best-selling self-help book The Secret. Since then, it has become a popular topic once again, especially after various celebrities have admitted to manifesting their perfect partner and career.
Below is a list of celebrities who manifested their relationship.
Yo Gotti
No one could mention the power of manifestation without talking about rapper Mario "Yo Gotti" Mims.
The 42-year-old is a prime example of how persistence and patience can help one find their ideal partner after landing his dream girl, reality star and entrepreneur Angela Simmons.
Although Mims and Simmons' announced that they were officially an item in December 2022, the pair's love story dates back to 2015 when the emcee expressed interest in the star in his hit song "Down in the DMs."
In the lyrics, Mims revealed that he developed a crush on Simmons after following her on social media and wasn't afraid to let the world know.
"And I just followed Angela (Simmons). Boy, I got a crush on Angela Simmons. They like, 'Damn Gotti, you bold.' F--k it. I'm gon' let the world know (goals)," the lyrics read.
Despite Mims' shooting his shot, in 2016, Simmons announced that she was engaged to businessman Sutton Tennyson. The former couple welcomed their son Sutton Tennyson Jr. that same year. In December 2017, more than a year after having their son, Simmons and Tennyson confirmed they had gone their separate ways.
Sadly following their split, Tennyson was fatally shot in 2018 in his Atlanta home after a heated argument with a man named Michael Williams. Williams was ultimately sentenced to life in prison.
In recent years, Simmons kept a relatively low profile regarding dating. The mother of one was previously linked to boxer Daniel Jacobs from 2020 to 2021. But in September 2022, Simmons made headlines after being spotted hanging out with Mims at her 35th birthday party and reciting the infamous lyrics to "Down in the DMs." The dating rumors continued when the couple attended numerous events together.
Since officially announcing their relationship, Mims and Simmons have become couple goals to many because of the love they have showcased in person and on social media.
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky
A$AP Rocky (L) and Rihanna (R).
Photo by Gotham/GC Images
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky's romance may have started as a platonic relationship. Still, after developing a bond dating back to 2012 and their similar interests in fashion, music, and opinions on love, it would become apparent that the duo was meant for each other.
Rihanna and Rocky, who frequently supported one another over the years both personally and professionally, officially began dating in 2020, and the couple's union generated buzz online because of how pure and light-hearted their relationship appeared to be.
The pair would welcome their first child RZA Mayers in 2022. Less than a year later, the "Work" singer announced that she and Rocky were expecting baby number two during her Super Bowl performance.
As Rihanna and Rocky's love continues to grow, a TikTok user pieced together two separate interviews from the “Cockiness (Love It)” remix collaborators describing the type of relationship they each want. The clip is also made up of photos of the couple basking in their love showing they they manifested one another.
"I want a man that loves me, cherishes me, values me. But they have to know my value in order to value me. I want fun times," the 35-year-old said. "I want fun, fun times. I want to laugh. I want laughs more than anything."
Further in the video, the “L$D” rapper shared that he was ready to experience genuine love and was patiently waiting for the right person.
"See, here is the thing, love, if you go looking for it you not going to find it. You not man, because love comes to you. You know it's like a gift. You got to try to stay humble and not block your blessing," he said.
Ciara and Russell Wilson
Let’s get into another couple who manifested one another, Ciara and Russell Wilson. The beloved pair, who began dating in 2015 after meeting at an NBC wrap party, have been happily married for almost seven years.
Ciara and Russell also have a blended family of three children. The couple share a daughter Sienna Wilson, 6, and a 2-year-old son Win Wilson. In addition to their two children, the "Goodies" singer has a son Future Wilburn, 9, with rapper and ex-fiancé Future.
Over the years, as Ciara and Russell's love story evolved publicly and on social media, many acquired the specific prayer the "Level Up" vocalist said to land her perfect mate following her failed relationship with Future.
In 2019, during an interview with Angie Martinez, Ciara revealed that after experiencing a public breakup with Future, reportedly due to infidelity on the rapper's part, she prayed for a God-fearing man that loved children and someone that she could learn from, among other qualities.
" I prayed for a God-fearing man. I prayed for discernment. I prayed for wisdom, to really learn from the wisdom that I'm gaining from the experience that I'm going through," she said. "I prayed for a man that loved kids, because, obviously me having my son, if you're gonna love me, you've gotta love him. I prayed for a man that was worldly as well. Because I love to explore. So someone that was gonna edify my world, that was important to me. I was ready to level up!"
Also, in the discussion, Ciara disclosed that the night she met Russell, she knew he was the one based on the tranquil feeling they experienced around each other.
"I remember looking at my husband the first night we met — it's like a movie — when we talk about our story back to each other, we both have the same feelings… It was a calm feeling all over my body," she stated. "I also remember looking at him, and I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And I couldn't remember half of what he was saying…but when you know, you know."
On the other hand, as people continuously asked for Ciara's prayer to attract a perfect mate, many may have missed that Russell also manifested their relationship.
In 2015 during his appearance at The Rock Church in San Diego, Russell shared that before meeting Ciara, he knew that they would wind up together.
"I told somebody that's the girl I want to be with before I even met her. I was like, 'I'm probably going to end up with Ciara.' She's a special girl," he said.
Since then, Ciara and Russell have continued to display that true love exists in various ways, including their constant support of one another.
Keke Palmer
Keke Palmer (L) and Darius Jackson (R).
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images
The third person on the list is actress Keke Palmer.
The 29-year-old is currently dating longtime partner Darius Jackson, and earlier this year, the couple expanded their family by welcoming their son Leodis Jackson.
During a May discussion on the Baby Its Keke Palmer podcast, Palmer revealed that before she started dating Jackson in 2021, she had used manifestation as a tool to attract her perfect mate.
In the conversation, Palmer shared that she created a list of qualities she wanted her significant other to embody, which included a family man and someone who didn't takes themselves too seriously, to name a few.
"My partner is, in so many ways, everything. I mean, obviously not perfect. I'm not perfect. No one's perfect. But it's like you are literally everything I visualized, and I say that all the time to him and he's like, 'No way, Jose.' And I'm like, 'Yes way, Jose,'" she said.
"I always wanted a man that was not so overly obsessed with being masculine, you know what I mean? Still had masculine energy, but also welcomed the softness that feminine energy can give. Somebody that's had a good relationship with their mother, someone that didn't take themselves too seriously, somebody that was a little bit, you know, cheesy and corny in all the right ways, but still knew how to dress and gave me a vibe every now and then."
To date, Palmer and Jackson have displayed that it is possible to have it all by successfully maintaining their personal and professional relationship.
Jodie Turner-Smith
Actress Jodie Turner-Smith's love story with her husband, actor Joshua Jackson, may have begun unconventionally in 2018 after meeting at Usher's birthday party in Los Angeles, California.
Still, Smith-Turner's confession about having a crush on Jackson's Dawson Creek character Pacey Witter proved their relationship was destined. In a 2021 interview with W Magazine, the Queen & Slim star opened up about her fascination with Jackson's character, which began when she was a teenager.
"My first cinematic crush was Pacey from Dawson's Creek. I was like a very young teenager. I didn't have any posters because my parents were not down with that type of thing. It was like, 'I'm just interested in books and Dawson's Creek,'" she said.
Turner-Smith's admiration for Jackson came to a head when they officially met in 2018. In another interview with Seth Meyers on his late-night talk show Late Night with Seth Meyers, Turner-Smith disclosed that while playing hard to get after Jackson noticed her at the party, the couple would have a one-night stand which ultimately turned into a full-blown relationship.
"I saw him before he saw me and when I saw him, I was like, 'I want that. And then when he saw me, I just pretended like I didn't see him," she said. "When I first met my husband, we had a one-night stand. We're in a two, three-year one-night stand now."
Since that fateful night, Smith-Turner and Jackson have gotten married and welcomed a daughter Janie Jackson in 2020. To this day, the couple continues to rave about their relationship and the life they have built.
Jason Momoa
The last person on the list is actor Jason Momoa.
Although Momoa and his estranged wife, actress Lisa Bonet are currently going through divorce proceedings, he has shared in the past how he predicted his relationship with The Cosby Show star.
In a 2018 interview with The Late Late Show With James Corden, the Game Of Thrones star revealed that after seeing Bonet on television as a child, he knew he wanted to be with her and did everything he could to make it happen.
"Ever since I was like, eight years old and I saw [Lisa] on the TV, I was like, 'Mommy, I want that one. I'm like, 'I'm going to stalk you for the rest of my life and I'm going to get you,'" he said
"But yeah, just always wanted to meet her. She was a queen, always."
The former couple would meet in 2005 at a jazz club. Momoa disclosed that following their interaction, he convinced Bonet to take him home, and after that night, the pair became an item.
"We just happened to be in the right place at the right time... I had fireworks going off inside, man. I convinced her to take me home because I was living in a hotel, " he stated. Momoa and Bonet dated for twelve years before getting married in 2017. The pair also welcomed two children, Lola Momoa, 15, and 14-year-old Nakoa Momoa.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Not to mention the fact that so many folks literally don’t read (you know, past skimming) anymore — and yes, I have stats to prove it. I recently read that back in 2022, reportedly, a little over 48 percent of people read one book over the course of that entire year (that is not a good thing and proves that book reading is on a steady decline). Meanwhile, the amount of time that is spent on social media: 2.5 hours on a daily basis. That’s 150 minutes of listening to folks just say…whatever. And if you listen to it long enough, you could actually start believing it as gospel.
This includes what I am going to touch on today: the belief that if someone really cares about you, they should constantly reassure you. Y’all damn near are gonna have me join the world of social media again, just to address this one fallacy. For now, though, I’ll settle for making some points via this article — because as you can see from the title, I don’t agree with that conclusion at all.
In fact, I personally believe that thinking this way is a pretty big relational orange — if not red — flag.
Reassurance. And What It Does for a Child.
GiphyIf you’ve read enough of my content, you know that I am big on word definitions — and when it comes to the word “reassurance,” the meaning alone explains why this article has the title that it does:
Reassurance: something, such as information, praise, or an action or gesture, that soothes, comforts, or restores to confidence
Reassurance restores confidence. Bookmark that, please. I will certainly circle back to that point before I am done.
Okay, so when it comes to, say a child, there is absolutely a place for reassurance. That’s because they are still in the process of significant self-development and so they need reassurance in order to feel safe, secure and loved. It’s also a way for them to establish trust in others.
However, did you know that many mental health experts say that if a child deals with, say anxiety, constant reassurance can actually be counterproductive because they can start to rely on external validation to emotionally stabilize them instead of learning how to remain calm and relaxed on their own (yeah, bookmark that too)? Some other ways that constant reassurance can become potentially problematic is it can cause kids to create problems that don’t exist, to overthink and to jump to the wrong conclusions (hmm…very interesting).
And so, already, we’re seeing something pretty interesting, right? Although reassurance has its place, too much of it, even for kids, typically ends up doing more harm than good.
Let’s keep building.
How 'Lack' As a Child Can Manifest As an Adult
GiphyOkay, so we just touched on how constant reassurance can be counterproductive for an anxious child. Now what about when that child grows up? If they never learned how to properly and effectively deal with their anxiety, what then? Well, this is where attachment styles can very easily come into play — especially since one of them is literally called “anxious attachment style.”
Anxious attachment style is rooted in insecurity. It typically stems from experiencing the type of dysfunctional upbringing that resulted in one or both parents being unpredictable or inconsistent in their caregiving approach and techniques. As a result, the child deals with things like fear of abandonment or rejection and, without healing from that, they become an adult who is pretty much the exact same way.
In relationships, it can manifest in them being extra clingy, codependent, super jealous, controlling or — catch it — someone who is always looking for validation and reassurance.
Hmph. Did you catch that? Did you really catch that? Needing constant reassurance in a relationship IS NOT something that should automatically come with a relationship. In fact, if you’re someone who has this type of need or even expectation, there’s a really good chance that what you actually need is therapy — not for your partner to work harder to make you feel better about yourself or the relationship.
Which brings me to my next point.
Relationships Can Be Therapeutic. They Aren’t Therapy, Though.
GiphySomething that some of my clients will tell you that they’ve heard me say, more than once I might add is, “PARENT and PARTNER are not palindromes.” A palindrome is a word (line, sentence, etc.) that is the same whether it is spelled backwards or forwards — and while, of course, parent and partner couldn’t qualify as being that, what I mean is there are far too many people who think that partners should pick up where parents left off and/or dropped the ball — and that is a super unhealthy approach to relationships. Come to think of it, not only is it unhealthy but really unfair as well.
This is exactly why I’m not big on phrases like “the princess treatment” in adult relationships. A princess is the daughter of a king while a queen is the wife of one. For a grown woman to expect a man to do what a father did for her as a child without accepting that as an adult, there are far more responsibilities as a wife that comes into play? Yep, that is toxic thinking.
And you know what? So is expecting your partner to overcompensate for where your father and/or mother didn’t show up in the way that they should have. That is not your partner’s fault, their role or their assignment while dating you. If you feel otherwise, it really is time to speak with a professional who can help you to do a bit of “reprogramming” in your thinking because, for you to feel and/or assume that since your parents didn’t make you feel confident and secure or teach you how to value yourself, your partner should work overtime to make up for it? There is not one thing that is healthy, mature or emotionally solid about having that type of mindset.
And that is why I am also good for saying that, although relationships can be therapeutic (healing), they should never EVER be seen as therapy. Therapists are trained to deal with the mental and emotional challenges that people have. On the other hand, no one should expect their partner to have the knowledge and expertise that professionals do — and while we’re here, partners also shouldn’t trust that someone who needs the assistance of a therapist to become whole (again) would know exactly what steps are required for that to happen.
So yeah, if you’re someone who thinks that being loved means that someone needs to constantly make you feel good about yourself or secure in the relationship — you probably do have an anxious attachment style. See a professional to get that confirmed, though. Because no one should have to make you feel valued or worthy. That is an inside job.
And this brings me to my final point.
It’s Not Fair to Want Someone to Love You More than You Do
GiphyFor this last point, something that Christ once said immediately comes to mind:
“No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.” (Matthew 9:16-18 — NKJV)
A lot of times, Christ spoke in parables because it was easier for people to get where he was coming from (Matthew 13:13). Anyway, along these lines, what would be the point in pouring a liquid into a bottle that has a hole in it? It’s not built to contain and maintain the fluid and so, no matter how delicious the drink may be, no matter how many times it’s poured into the bottle, the bottle is never going to remain full — because it has cracks in it.
BOOKMARK THAT.
My fourth baby’s daddy (check out “Why I Named The Children I Aborted”), while we were in the process of our “exit interview” (which is what I choose to call it) of our dynamic, he said something that has always stayed with me: “Shellie, your biggest problem is you receive compliments are revelations when they should be seen as confirmations.” Hmph. The irony of HIM saying that is kind of a trip and yet, at the time when we were experiencing each other, he was exactly right. I should’ve never had such a low sense of self-worth that whatever a man said to me had me so in awe that I either felt extremely grateful or became super addicted to his validation.
And y’all, that is exactly what needing constant reassurance looks like — because why does someone need to keep telling you that you are beautiful, keep saying that you are wonderful, keep letting you know that they want to be with you — keep restoring your confidence in yourself and in your relationship with them?
In other words, why should they work harder at making you feel good about yourself and solid in your relationship than you are willing to? Isn’t that just like pouring liquid into a broken bottle?
There is someone in my family tree who I had to distance myself from because he kept venting to me about his marriage and the fact that his wife was just like this. Sadly, it was never (and I do mean NEVER) enough that he chose her — whenever she felt some type of way about herself, here she came looking for him to fill her voids. After a couple of years of the nonstop needs for reassurance, he was worn out from doing it and I was exhausted from hearing about it. He was too scared to call her out and she was too unaccountable to get the real help that she needed. Whew. Toxic on top of toxic.
So Shellie, what are you saying — that we shouldn’t expect compliments, affirmations, support and encouragement in our relationships? Chile, if that is what you got out of this, you are choosing to think that way because that couldn’t be further from where I am coming from.
Again, you’ve got to remember what reassurance means: it’s about restoring confidence. A compliment is “an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration” yet if you already know that you are pretty, smart, funny, whatever, someone telling you that isn’t “building your confidence;” it’s cosigning on something that you are already aware of. Encouragement is about inspiring or stimulating someone and so yes, of course, the right partner is going to want to see you win in life and so they are going to offer up influence and motivation to help you — but what if they aren’t there?
Shouldn’t you be able to encourage yourself? ABSOLUTELY. However, expecting them to restore your confidence due to things that have nothing to do with them or because you simply lack self-confidence? That is not how relationships are to go. If you aren’t sure of yourself (which is a foundational definition of confident), get to the root of why and then figure what you need to do to become sure — that way, your partner doesn’t have to constantly “fill you up;” actually, what they do will be surplus instead of void-filling because your “bottle” will be unbroken.
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I’m telling you, if you pay attention to the relationship side of socials, at least twice a day, someone will talk about how they think that a relationship should entail receiving constant reassurance. Lies on top of lies. No one should think that love means trying to make someone else feel sure about themselves because they don’t know how to do so on their own.
And this is why I say that expecting constant reassurance is an orange, if not red, flag.
Because when you already feel good about yourself, there is no need.
And if you don’t, figuring out how to is an inside job — FIRST.
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