

While many of us were excited to get a second go-round of our "Hot Girl Summer", the pandemic and the heat were the only things ablaze. Nonetheless, we survived summer and alas, Cuffing Season 2020 is closing in on us. While some of us are making last-minute recruits, the rest may already have someone on standby to keep things nice and hot during the fall and winter months. And yeah, cuddling is one way to make things uncomfortable and (if we're being real) unnecessarily hot, that's not the type of heat we had in mind. And because great minds think alike, neither did you!
We're looking for bonafide dick-downs all winter long. We're trying to figure out the best moves to keep things piping hot in the bedroom. We're bringing hot girl heat all year long! After all, we must compensate for the inability to bring the heat this summer. With that in mind, I reached out to a few Black and Brown sexperts to give you the gift of 7 'too hot to handle' sex positions. These positions are basic, making them simple to spice up and down. Keep reading to find out how each expert took a classic position and brought the flavor.
1.Sixty-Nine
"Although we normally think of sixy-nine as a way to introduce oral sex, the position also allows for other types of penetration, such as fingering (vaginally or anally). Maybe your partner and you decide to make this a wildcard alternating with some finger play! The nine or top, has a bit more flexibility in that they are able to penetrate their partner orally, digitally, or while using a toy. Meanwhile, the six (the bottom) is able to lie there and provide oral stimulation (also interchangeable with finger-play)--playfully and willfully submitting all power to the person on top.
"The top can also add to some breath play for the person lying down while adding pressure when sitting, smothering, and sliding back and forth."
*All acts of breath/choke play should be negotiated and consensually agreed by all partners.
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MSW, M.Ed
2.Doggy Style
"There's something really sexy about this position! It likely has to do with how domineering this position is, while also providing intimacy through physical touch. But, it also has range allowing you to make it rough and fast or sensual, slow, and intimate. This position also allows for quick and easy transitions and the addition of toys, including butt plugs, clitoral clamps, and strap-ons."
- Kendra Cabrera, MSW, MEd
3.Girl on Top
"This is the perfect position for both penetration and clitoral stimulation. A big plus being that it reduces the stress placed on the legs, allowing you to focus your energy on pelvic thrusts which help with the contact pressure between the abdomen and clitoris. Being able to slide back and forth creates a wonderful clitoral friction. Not to mention, being on top can make space for other interaction between partners such as breast play, hair pulling, erotic asphyxiation. This position is great for either vaginal-penile, vaginal-dildo."
- Amanda Cruz Gerena, MS, M.Ed
4.Splitting Bamboo
"This position is a variation of missionary that allows for deeper penetration while still providing full body contact. With one leg lifted out of the way, the partner being penetrated has full access to their clitoris. Leaving room for the addition of a toy or manual stimulation. Also, the position works for those of all penis types to thrust deeper. The splitting bamboo can easily transition into other positions, such as elevated missionary and anal missionary."
- Janielle Bryan, MPH, CHES
5.Criss-Cross Missionary
"Another variety of missionary, this position is a crowd-pleaser and not simply because it [gives] much-needed breathing room. But also because of the change in sensations created as the top shifts their body weight on top of you from this angle. Furthermore, the sloped angle creates slight clitoral friction introducing yet another sensation.
"It also allows for some kinky fun, whether you grab a pair of cuffs or some rope--your partner can tie your ankles together while they're crossed (one lying on top of the other) or parallel to one another."
"This position also leaves your hands free to manually stimulate yourself, introduce a toy, or caress your partner. If you enjoyed some of the more kinky suggestions, you might also consider having your partner immobilize your arms with the help of a spreader bar."
- Kiarra, MSW, M.ED
6.Jackhammer
This position is simple enough to execute but what makes it so nice is that it gives you easy access to the gooch (for men) and the g-spot. In order to execute, you want to sit on a flat surface with your legs slightly bent while your partner stands over your head slightly crouching. You'll anchor them by grabbing their waist with one hand and gently hugging them. Use your free arm in order to caress or stroke the penis or clitoris. This position is for the pleaser in you that enjoys sitting with a smug face while your partner gets off. Now you get to do so with an all-access pass.
7.Downward Dog-Camel Ride Hybrid
"A mixture of downward dog and the camel ride. The bottom person lies on their stomach with their legs slightly bent and straddled. While the top or penis-person straddles their partner's legs, making a scissoring motion. This position is sexy and great for those who have mobility issues as there is no pressure on the knees in the way that positions such as cowgirl do."
- Sabrina B., MSW, M.Ed
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak