We have all lived through the good, bad, and ugly of love and relationships, and lately, I've noticed this influx of people who have no problem talking about every side of it in their podcasts.
I'm certainly here for it because for starters, it goes against the stigma that our generation doesn't value healthy love and relationships. But these podcasts also get into the nitty-gritty of every aspect that every couple can relate to; from the heavy moments to the ones that make us laugh because we literally just went through the same thing. Whatever you need, these podcasts will certainly get you and bae all the way together.
That Black Couple
The That Black Couple podcast, hosted by Daren and Jenn, is basically the epitome of all things Black love and relationships. Its motto is "A podcast about Blackness and adulting," and it certainly lives up to the hype while covering everything from love to pop culture and everything in between. Like, seriously. Some of their most standout episodes include toxic masculinity in relationships (come on!), whooping children, and how to know if you're getting proper sleep, as well as the setbacks that happen if you don't. And it's all from the viewpoint of Black married millennials in their 30's, which is something our generation desperately needs. So grab a snack, some Hennessy (that's literally what they tell you to do lol), and enjoy with your bae.
Love On Purpose
iTunes
This is a fairly new podcast. It's only a couple of episodes in, but I have to say, it certainly didn't waste any time in making its mark. Newlyweds Jay and Janelle Johnson might have only been married for a few months, but they're dropping gems that even seasoned couples can relate to and benefit from. I fell in love with this podcast immediately because they're so honest about the reality of marriage as they share so much about their life. They definitely bring the laughs as they reveal what they've learned as husband and wife (like one not knowing how to really wash dishes and the other being much more of a talker than expected). Get into it!
Black Love Matters
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Yes, it does. And this podcast will never tell us any different. That's probably why it's a big hit. But it doesn't just dish on all things Black love, even though that's the main premise and perspective. The Instagram bio says it best: "A hilarious podcast for loving each other, figuring out adulthood, finding our inner Barack and Michelle." Isn't that what most of us want anyway? As for the episodes, they dish on everything from getting a dog, giving advice for couples that want to buy a house, and even had an episode called "Protecting Black Women." Here.For.It. If you really want to dig in, there is also a YouTube channel, a place where couples can submit their own stories, and a shop for #BlackLove gear.
Bonnets And Durags
iTunes
The Bonnets and Durags podcast is a pillow talk show at its finest. A beautiful girl named Simone serves as the host and will easily become your best friend in your head after listening to one episode. Sidebar: Yes, a female does host this show solo for the most part, but she raises awareness and topics of conversations that both parties in relationships can take advantage of. Her main push is to spark conversation for couples and millennials in general, concerning topics that some of us have the tendency to avoid. Plus, she never fails to feature a guest who can represent a male's point of view. And don't sleep on her Nightcap playlist – (she's thought of everything).
Couples Therapy
iTunes
What couple doesn't need therapy? In between sessions, feel free to sit on the virtual comfy couch of an amazing podcast. Candice and Casey get so candid that you'll feel like you're watching a VLOG of their life play out before your eyes. At the same time, this can be therapeutic because most listeners will realize they're not alone in the big and small things they deal with in their relationship regularly. In past episodes, they've gone further than just touching on topics and completely dived in head-first with their thoughts on forgiveness, disagreements/straight up arguments, and the possibility of getting too close and too personal with each other. It might be tempting to grab your popcorn and listen; but trust, you'll want to take notes too.
Dating While Black
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If we're real, dating is probably one of the hardest things that we'll do in life. And unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to ease up; at least not this year. Thankfully, the Dating While Black podcast gives us some sort of relief that the struggle is not only real but more common than we think. Between DMs, Snapchat, and cuffing season, the art of dating gets a bad rap, and this podcast stirs the pot in the realest way possible. While it focuses on the realities of dating, this is a great podcast for couples because they'll still be able to relate to the struggle.
The Friend Zone
For starters, this is in no way a podcast hosted by a couple, or about only love, despite the name. But if anything, it will definitely be a good time for you and your boo if you're looking for a way to do life together. Considering it has three hosts – two guys (Asanté and Dustin) and Hey Fran Hey, listeners pretty much get every viewpoint on all things life, including love. But most importantly, the premise of the show is to discuss mental health, wealth, and even hygiene. Because, in their words, "who wants a musty brain?" For real, though.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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