For a while now, I have struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And for longer than that, I struggled with accepting the changes that were happening to my body. With the disappointment of family dynamics, a demanding career, and personal emotional trauma after I moved back home to California, I found myself at the heaviest I had ever been.
My bra was cutting into my back fat. My panties were not fitting on my hips right. Still, not fitting right. I went from a size 4/6 to a 10/12. I went from small/medium to large/extra-large. I went from 141 pounds to 175+ pounds. (I typically weigh 125-135.). Mind you, I was born 0.9 of a pound. I went from a 32DD to a 36G/H. Chile. Let me tell you, these tig ol' bitties are H-E-A-V-Y.
Cellulite was appearing in places on my body that was never there before. The definition around my collarbone and shoulders was gone. Traces of my little four-pack of abs slowly faded away. My thighs and arms felt like Jell-O, even my nine-year-old nephew would comment, "You're so squishy." Four and a half years later, I still couldn't get this weight off no matter how many times I told myself, "I can do this."
The problem was I didn't completely believe myself.
I struggled with maintaining my workouts, eating healthy, and achieving my fitness goals. For reference, I used to aspire to become an FBI Agent at one point in my life. So, your girl was 100 percent on. I ran a mile under ten minutes, I could do push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and lunges, with ease. At the time, it did help that I worked with people in law enforcement who were all about health and fitness. I had worked so hard to build my body.
I was disappointed in my current body. And I am still disappointed. I was no longer the carefree, always laughing, bubbly, breath-of-fresh-air Camille anymore. I was depressed-as-all-hell Camille and I didn't even know it.
I wanted the old Camille back.
Those moments and memories replay in my head like my favorite movie. I wanted the body and the life I had before I decided to take that job. This same, damn, job made me finally crumble. I felt the disconnect in my gut. My body was trying to send me a message, but I did not listen. And "those who don't listen, go feel." Word to the Trinidadian Proverb that means if you don't heed the warnings given to you, you will suffer the consequences. Please believe, I felt every damn consequence. I wanted to permanently erase the chapters of my life titled "2016 to 2018" as if they never happened.
But, I had to accept and realize I am no longer that girl anymore. I had to unpack all the emotions that my heart and body kept like a well-guarded safe.
My journey took me places I could not have ever imagined before. I can say now, I am thankful for the pain. I would not have grown without it. I can say now, I am definitely in a good space. Even though I am still struggling with my body image and accepting my body, I can't go back. Those moments and memories are so many years away from me. I can only move forward with consistency, discipline, and consciousness in this present moment as Camille now.
So, during this never-ending pandemic, I decided to join a 60-day transformation challenge simultaneously with an eight-week strength training program with my new home gym Hardcore Fitness.
What Is The 60-Day Transformation Journey?
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The 60-Day Transformation Challenge at Hardcore Fitness is no joke. The goal of the challenge is to lose as much body fat as possible over the course of eight weeks. After watching the introduction videos, I learned challengers are required to attend strength-training classes at least five days a week and do cardio seven days a week. Where is the rest day?
A total of three fitness assessments are given across eight weeks. This includes a one-mile run and basic bodyweight exercises that are timed. Additionally, there is also an approved food list. No cheating allowed. I can only eat lean proteins (chicken breast, egg whites, turkey, or white fish), green veggies, complex carbohydrates (like oatmeal and sweet potato) with no condiments. A gallon of water must be consumed daily. In doing all of this, I hoped to lose a total of 15 to 25 pounds and a few inches off my waist.
Getting Started
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This time, I was serious. I was mentally ready. I told myself I was done with unhealthy eating habits and little to no physical activity. I threw out any packaged or processed foods in my pantry. I purchased meal prep containers and made Sundays meal prep day in my calendar. I made myself a workout schedule. I booked my strength-training classes a few days in advance. I also downloaded health and fitness apps to help me stay on track with cardio, water intake, and calories burned.
I thought about posting my before pictures and body scan on my Instagram profile but I am not feeling the energy on social media these days. For accountability purposes and that extra "push" in my transformation journey, I posted my before pictures and body scan in the xoTribe. The xoTribe Members Community has been a safe space for me since the beginning of this pandemic and it always will be. And honestly, in this moment, I feel more connected to an online community of women than some friendships I have today.
I am so ready for this.
My 60-Day Transformation Challenge Experience
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On the first day of the challenge, I was anxious. I wanted to stay committed this time. Leave it to me to schedule a strength training class with one of the toughest trainers in the gym. As if I wasn't struggling enough during the workout, he would be the one to hand me heavier weights too. I was not happy, but it forced me to push through my asthma and build my endurance.
My one rep max on deadlifts is 185 pounds. I didn't even know I could lift that heavy. The body is effing amazing. I am grateful that one of the Hardcore Fitness trainers offered me a spot in his small group training program. He noticed during boot camp classes that I was not weightlifting to my potential at all. Like not even a little bit. Like not even close to it. I didn't even have an excuse, reason, comeback, or an argument for him. All I could say was, "I sure as hell don't."
This challenge will end in a couple of weeks, and I look forward to all the small wins. When I say small wins, I don't mean the physical results that come with living a fit lifestyle. You know, the muscle gains, strength, body definition, inches lost, smaller clothing sizes, or a more pleasing number on the scale. I am not talking about the technical wins either; an increase in lean muscle mass or a lower body fat percentage. We all want to be bodied AF.
I'm talking about the renewed energy and confidence that come with taking care of your body. Having a sense of awareness in knowing you are choosing to nourish your body with whole foods and movements for longevity.
Your body is your home. And you should always feel at home in your body. If you don't, recognize it's a problem and ask yourself what you can do to feel at home, comfortable, or safe in your body.
And more than that, do that thing.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak