For a while now, I have struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And for longer than that, I struggled with accepting the changes that were happening to my body. With the disappointment of family dynamics, a demanding career, and personal emotional trauma after I moved back home to California, I found myself at the heaviest I had ever been.
My bra was cutting into my back fat. My panties were not fitting on my hips right. Still, not fitting right. I went from a size 4/6 to a 10/12. I went from small/medium to large/extra-large. I went from 141 pounds to 175+ pounds. (I typically weigh 125-135.). Mind you, I was born 0.9 of a pound. I went from a 32DD to a 36G/H. Chile. Let me tell you, these tig ol' bitties are H-E-A-V-Y.
Cellulite was appearing in places on my body that was never there before. The definition around my collarbone and shoulders was gone. Traces of my little four-pack of abs slowly faded away. My thighs and arms felt like Jell-O, even my nine-year-old nephew would comment, "You're so squishy." Four and a half years later, I still couldn't get this weight off no matter how many times I told myself, "I can do this."
The problem was I didn't completely believe myself.
I struggled with maintaining my workouts, eating healthy, and achieving my fitness goals. For reference, I used to aspire to become an FBI Agent at one point in my life. So, your girl was 100 percent on. I ran a mile under ten minutes, I could do push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and lunges, with ease. At the time, it did help that I worked with people in law enforcement who were all about health and fitness. I had worked so hard to build my body.
I was disappointed in my current body. And I am still disappointed. I was no longer the carefree, always laughing, bubbly, breath-of-fresh-air Camille anymore. I was depressed-as-all-hell Camille and I didn't even know it.
I wanted the old Camille back.
Those moments and memories replay in my head like my favorite movie. I wanted the body and the life I had before I decided to take that job. This same, damn, job made me finally crumble. I felt the disconnect in my gut. My body was trying to send me a message, but I did not listen. And "those who don't listen, go feel." Word to the Trinidadian Proverb that means if you don't heed the warnings given to you, you will suffer the consequences. Please believe, I felt every damn consequence. I wanted to permanently erase the chapters of my life titled "2016 to 2018" as if they never happened.
But, I had to accept and realize I am no longer that girl anymore. I had to unpack all the emotions that my heart and body kept like a well-guarded safe.
My journey took me places I could not have ever imagined before. I can say now, I am thankful for the pain. I would not have grown without it. I can say now, I am definitely in a good space. Even though I am still struggling with my body image and accepting my body, I can't go back. Those moments and memories are so many years away from me. I can only move forward with consistency, discipline, and consciousness in this present moment as Camille now.
So, during this never-ending pandemic, I decided to join a 60-day transformation challenge simultaneously with an eight-week strength training program with my new home gym Hardcore Fitness.
What Is The 60-Day Transformation Journey?
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The 60-Day Transformation Challenge at Hardcore Fitness is no joke. The goal of the challenge is to lose as much body fat as possible over the course of eight weeks. After watching the introduction videos, I learned challengers are required to attend strength-training classes at least five days a week and do cardio seven days a week. Where is the rest day?
A total of three fitness assessments are given across eight weeks. This includes a one-mile run and basic bodyweight exercises that are timed. Additionally, there is also an approved food list. No cheating allowed. I can only eat lean proteins (chicken breast, egg whites, turkey, or white fish), green veggies, complex carbohydrates (like oatmeal and sweet potato) with no condiments. A gallon of water must be consumed daily. In doing all of this, I hoped to lose a total of 15 to 25 pounds and a few inches off my waist.
Getting Started
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This time, I was serious. I was mentally ready. I told myself I was done with unhealthy eating habits and little to no physical activity. I threw out any packaged or processed foods in my pantry. I purchased meal prep containers and made Sundays meal prep day in my calendar. I made myself a workout schedule. I booked my strength-training classes a few days in advance. I also downloaded health and fitness apps to help me stay on track with cardio, water intake, and calories burned.
I thought about posting my before pictures and body scan on my Instagram profile but I am not feeling the energy on social media these days. For accountability purposes and that extra "push" in my transformation journey, I posted my before pictures and body scan in the xoTribe. The xoTribe Members Community has been a safe space for me since the beginning of this pandemic and it always will be. And honestly, in this moment, I feel more connected to an online community of women than some friendships I have today.
I am so ready for this.
My 60-Day Transformation Challenge Experience
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On the first day of the challenge, I was anxious. I wanted to stay committed this time. Leave it to me to schedule a strength training class with one of the toughest trainers in the gym. As if I wasn't struggling enough during the workout, he would be the one to hand me heavier weights too. I was not happy, but it forced me to push through my asthma and build my endurance.
My one rep max on deadlifts is 185 pounds. I didn't even know I could lift that heavy. The body is effing amazing. I am grateful that one of the Hardcore Fitness trainers offered me a spot in his small group training program. He noticed during boot camp classes that I was not weightlifting to my potential at all. Like not even a little bit. Like not even close to it. I didn't even have an excuse, reason, comeback, or an argument for him. All I could say was, "I sure as hell don't."
This challenge will end in a couple of weeks, and I look forward to all the small wins. When I say small wins, I don't mean the physical results that come with living a fit lifestyle. You know, the muscle gains, strength, body definition, inches lost, smaller clothing sizes, or a more pleasing number on the scale. I am not talking about the technical wins either; an increase in lean muscle mass or a lower body fat percentage. We all want to be bodied AF.
I'm talking about the renewed energy and confidence that come with taking care of your body. Having a sense of awareness in knowing you are choosing to nourish your body with whole foods and movements for longevity.
Your body is your home. And you should always feel at home in your body. If you don't, recognize it's a problem and ask yourself what you can do to feel at home, comfortable, or safe in your body.
And more than that, do that thing.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
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When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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The End Of The Road? Zoë Kravitz And Channing Tatum Reportedly Split
Rumors are circulating that Zoë Kravitz and Channing Tatum's engagement has come to an end. Adding to the intrigue, two hours prior to the news of their split becoming public, Channing celebrated the exciting announcement that he and Zoë would reunite for an upcoming alien invasion movie entitled Alpha Gang.
Some folks are saying that October is now “uncuffing season” as partners won’t have to deal with the weight and expectations that come with this time of year. From matching Halloween costumes to voting to Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems the new cuffing season has moved to January.
In August 2021, Zoë and Channing were first rumored to be romantically involved after being photographed riding together through the streets of New York City on a BMX bike. The following month, they were seen leaving the Met Gala together, and Tatum confirmed their relationship on Halloween by posting a picture of them wearing a couples costume from Martin Scorsese's iconic 1976 film Taxi Driver on Instagram.
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After collaborating on Zoë's directorial debut, Blink Twice, where Channing played a starring role, their relationship blossomed into a full-out romance. Approximately a year later, the Step Up star popped the question.
Because the streets are always watching, PEOPLE reported that Channing joined Zoë in seeing a production of a play by Blink Twice costar Levon Hawke in New York City's Red Hook neighborhood on Oct. 6. Most recently, Kravitz has been seen in public without her engagement ring, notably during an outing with her Big Little Lies co-star Shailene Woodley.
So the news of the split kinda comes as a surprise as we were just oozing over the couple’s undeniable chemistry during their Blink Twice press run in August. Channing and Zoë openly discussed their relationship and collaborated on multiple videos that went viral.
Even proud papa Lenny Kravitz gave his approval. During an interview with BBC’s Radio 2, he said, "He was raised well. So, you know, he’s got manners. He’s charming. He’s a soulful human being. And so, he’s become part of the family quite quickly. He fits and they're in love. We’re going to have a wedding next year."
As we mourn this breakup, let’s run back some memorable moments from the possibly uncoupled pair.
"Art is our love language."
When asked about future collaborations with her boo during the premiere of Blink Twice on Aug. 23, Zoë shared, "I think it's what we love, and we love talking about it, and experiencing it, and supporting each other.” Channing chimed in saying, “This is what I'll say about creating with someone that you are with or love: I suggest it. If you are thinking about having a kid or if you're thinking about getting married, go find the hardest possible creative project with your partner.”
“I got you forever.”
Channing took to Instagram to share an adoring photo of him holding Zoë. He captioned the photo, “This little sweet. She So tired bro. Every time I wondered if she’d break…. She just kept going and going and going. Always on the dig for truth. She pour’d every single ounce of her into this film. I’m so proud to stand ten toes down for her, this film and everyone in it. forever. Knowing what it took to make it. No one will ever know.”
The last line took us out: “Thank you for finding me and seeing me. I got you forever. Me and you back to back against it all. I’ll never blink. Let’s go. #blinktwice”
GOAT Talk
On Complex’s GOAT Talk, a show where stars are prompted to reveal their favorites of all time, Channing and Zoë disclosed their go-to song for singing in the shower, their beloved ad-lib line from Blink Twice, and their stance on conspiracy theories and their favorite rapper. The moment Channing challenged Zoë’s answer that Catwoman is the best superhero of all time was just too cute.
“The Lie Detector determined…”
The cast of Blink Twice underwent Vanity Fair's well-known lie detector test, facing a barrage of probing questions. Among the inquiries were: Did Channing Tatum and Naomi Watts ever irritate Zoë Kravitz during the filming of Blink Twice? Did Naomi ever pilfer anything from the set? Did Channing's portrayal of Gambit in Deadpool & Wolverine surpass his personal expectations?
Best of all were the moments you saw Zoë and Channing look at each other adoringly and when they would finish each other sentences. “We are equally cool,” Zoë beamed.
Puppy Love
The pair hung out with BuzzFeed and a slew of adorable puppies while chatting about their favorite improvised moment on set, who has the best rizz — which is apparently Channing according to Zoë — and their first impressions of each other. Not only did they binge-watch Love Island together but they also boasted they would win Love Is Blind if they were on the show.
The Pressure
Zoë Kravitz recently sat down with Esquirefor an interview and got real about her thoughts on becoming a parent. She shared that she's always kinda thought motherhood might not be her thing. “For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be crazy.’”
Her viewpoint on childbirth and parenthood has evolved as she has matured and witnessed the societal pressure placed on women to reproduce. While she recognizes the immense strength and courage required to carry and raise a child, Kravitz believes that women should not be made to feel obligated to do so.
Zoë continued, “For a lot of people that have children, it is this giant, life-changing event – and I do think there is a certain amount of focus and respect that they should get from their community. There’s a lot of pressure on women to have children, and there’s a feeling that if you don’t, you don’t have purpose here.” The director feels a special connection to her new movie akin to giving birth.
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Featured image by Dave Benett/WireImage