

For a while now, I have struggled with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. And for longer than that, I struggled with accepting the changes that were happening to my body. With the disappointment of family dynamics, a demanding career, and personal emotional trauma after I moved back home to California, I found myself at the heaviest I had ever been.
My bra was cutting into my back fat. My panties were not fitting on my hips right. Still, not fitting right. I went from a size 4/6 to a 10/12. I went from small/medium to large/extra-large. I went from 141 pounds to 175+ pounds. (I typically weigh 125-135.). Mind you, I was born 0.9 of a pound. I went from a 32DD to a 36G/H. Chile. Let me tell you, these tig ol' bitties are H-E-A-V-Y.
Cellulite was appearing in places on my body that was never there before. The definition around my collarbone and shoulders was gone. Traces of my little four-pack of abs slowly faded away. My thighs and arms felt like Jell-O, even my nine-year-old nephew would comment, "You're so squishy." Four and a half years later, I still couldn't get this weight off no matter how many times I told myself, "I can do this."
The problem was I didn't completely believe myself.
I struggled with maintaining my workouts, eating healthy, and achieving my fitness goals. For reference, I used to aspire to become an FBI Agent at one point in my life. So, your girl was 100 percent on. I ran a mile under ten minutes, I could do push-ups, sit-ups, squats, and lunges, with ease. At the time, it did help that I worked with people in law enforcement who were all about health and fitness. I had worked so hard to build my body.
I was disappointed in my current body. And I am still disappointed. I was no longer the carefree, always laughing, bubbly, breath-of-fresh-air Camille anymore. I was depressed-as-all-hell Camille and I didn't even know it.
I wanted the old Camille back.
Those moments and memories replay in my head like my favorite movie. I wanted the body and the life I had before I decided to take that job. This same, damn, job made me finally crumble. I felt the disconnect in my gut. My body was trying to send me a message, but I did not listen. And "those who don't listen, go feel." Word to the Trinidadian Proverb that means if you don't heed the warnings given to you, you will suffer the consequences. Please believe, I felt every damn consequence. I wanted to permanently erase the chapters of my life titled "2016 to 2018" as if they never happened.
But, I had to accept and realize I am no longer that girl anymore. I had to unpack all the emotions that my heart and body kept like a well-guarded safe.
My journey took me places I could not have ever imagined before. I can say now, I am thankful for the pain. I would not have grown without it. I can say now, I am definitely in a good space. Even though I am still struggling with my body image and accepting my body, I can't go back. Those moments and memories are so many years away from me. I can only move forward with consistency, discipline, and consciousness in this present moment as Camille now.
So, during this never-ending pandemic, I decided to join a 60-day transformation challenge simultaneously with an eight-week strength training program with my new home gym Hardcore Fitness.
What Is The 60-Day Transformation Journey?
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The 60-Day Transformation Challenge at Hardcore Fitness is no joke. The goal of the challenge is to lose as much body fat as possible over the course of eight weeks. After watching the introduction videos, I learned challengers are required to attend strength-training classes at least five days a week and do cardio seven days a week. Where is the rest day?
A total of three fitness assessments are given across eight weeks. This includes a one-mile run and basic bodyweight exercises that are timed. Additionally, there is also an approved food list. No cheating allowed. I can only eat lean proteins (chicken breast, egg whites, turkey, or white fish), green veggies, complex carbohydrates (like oatmeal and sweet potato) with no condiments. A gallon of water must be consumed daily. In doing all of this, I hoped to lose a total of 15 to 25 pounds and a few inches off my waist.
Getting Started
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This time, I was serious. I was mentally ready. I told myself I was done with unhealthy eating habits and little to no physical activity. I threw out any packaged or processed foods in my pantry. I purchased meal prep containers and made Sundays meal prep day in my calendar. I made myself a workout schedule. I booked my strength-training classes a few days in advance. I also downloaded health and fitness apps to help me stay on track with cardio, water intake, and calories burned.
I thought about posting my before pictures and body scan on my Instagram profile but I am not feeling the energy on social media these days. For accountability purposes and that extra "push" in my transformation journey, I posted my before pictures and body scan in the xoTribe. The xoTribe Members Community has been a safe space for me since the beginning of this pandemic and it always will be. And honestly, in this moment, I feel more connected to an online community of women than some friendships I have today.
I am so ready for this.
My 60-Day Transformation Challenge Experience
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On the first day of the challenge, I was anxious. I wanted to stay committed this time. Leave it to me to schedule a strength training class with one of the toughest trainers in the gym. As if I wasn't struggling enough during the workout, he would be the one to hand me heavier weights too. I was not happy, but it forced me to push through my asthma and build my endurance.
My one rep max on deadlifts is 185 pounds. I didn't even know I could lift that heavy. The body is effing amazing. I am grateful that one of the Hardcore Fitness trainers offered me a spot in his small group training program. He noticed during boot camp classes that I was not weightlifting to my potential at all. Like not even a little bit. Like not even close to it. I didn't even have an excuse, reason, comeback, or an argument for him. All I could say was, "I sure as hell don't."
This challenge will end in a couple of weeks, and I look forward to all the small wins. When I say small wins, I don't mean the physical results that come with living a fit lifestyle. You know, the muscle gains, strength, body definition, inches lost, smaller clothing sizes, or a more pleasing number on the scale. I am not talking about the technical wins either; an increase in lean muscle mass or a lower body fat percentage. We all want to be bodied AF.
I'm talking about the renewed energy and confidence that come with taking care of your body. Having a sense of awareness in knowing you are choosing to nourish your body with whole foods and movements for longevity.
Your body is your home. And you should always feel at home in your body. If you don't, recognize it's a problem and ask yourself what you can do to feel at home, comfortable, or safe in your body.
And more than that, do that thing.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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Camille is a lover of all things skin, curls, music, justice, and wanderlust; oceans and islands are her thing. Her words inspire and her power is her voice. A California native with Trinidadian roots, she has penned personal essays, interviews, and lifestyle pieces for POPSUGAR, FEMI magazine, and SelfishBabe. Camille is currently creating a life she loves through words, self-love, fitness, travel, and empowerment. You can follow her on Instagram @cam_just_living or @written_by_cam.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Your April 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Softening Into Love & Speaking Your Truth
April is a month to slow down and to fully grasp what has been. The month starts in fiery Aries Season, but we are also in the thick of Retrograde Season as we begin the month as well. Thankfully, Mercury finally goes direct on April 7, after being retrograde mid-March, and communication matters are clearing up. This is a month of mental clarity, a fresh start, and not being afraid to dream a little bigger.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, and this Full Moon brings relationship and financial matters full circle. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t make you feel balanced or in harmony and to create space for more peace to enter your life. Venus goes direct in Pisces on the same day, after being retrograde since March 1, and love is healing. With Venus now direct, there are more opportunities for commitment and longevity in love, and there is overall a greater feeling of romance, receptivity, and compassion in the air now.
Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
ARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
SCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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