Oh, age 30. I am 29 today and the thought of 30 being my next milestone is gut-wrenching.
You question all the decisions you've made up until this point, especially your career choice. Eighty-five percent of adults are dissatisfied with their careers, as discovered by this Gallup study. If you fall within this category or are simply in need of a change, the reality of age 30 lurking around the corner causes a lot of people to stress about their current career commitment.
To change your career at 30 is scary because you are at an age where accountability for your time is absolutely higher. Whether you have been in the trenches climbing the corporate ladder or have followed your passion for the last 10 years only to realize: Oh shit, what the hell am I doing? Don't worry, there is hope. I consider one of life's pleasures to be the potential to reinvent one's self in all stages and your career rebirth is no different should you use some of these steps as a guide.
1. Find your passion and build your career around that.
The path to change your career at 30 may not always lie in a complete environment change but rather in a mindset and routine change. When carving out your new path, it is important to use your interest as a guidance system to help you solve a problem and not simply chase after a sexy career title. I recently interviewed international business development strategist, Edwina Kulego who also was feeling mundane at her job.
Rather than leaving the security of her corporate position, she custom-designed a new role tailored around her interests and pitched it to her boss. It worked because she was solving a real problem. If you need help figuring out what your interest are, check out Pathfinders. Through a series of programs, Pathfinders will help you outline your natural abilities and potential career paths.
For some additional inspiration, click here to check out my interview of Edwina Kulego.
2. Build your career around your strengths and you will make yourself indispensable.
Before you take any leaps and Eat.Pray.Love this process, I challenge you, like Edwina, to take a second look at your current environment and figure out the areas where your abilities could be best used. One beautiful thing that comes with knowing your strengths and interests is that it allows you to serve from your unique perspective.
If you design a career or business that is uniquely you, then your service becomes harder to replicate and your job becomes a whole lot more enjoyable. The grass is not always greener on the other side. The truth is, although I don't have a tremendous amount of experience in a specific work field, I have bounced around jobs in a variety of industries and I am pretty sure that what I am doing now is along the lines of where I would end up should I walk away now.
3. Embrace Mentorship.
I am one of those people who was extremely smart growing up but, during my time in college, I lost interest in pretty much everything I thought I was meant to do. I didn't grow up surrounded with ambitious or successful adults who spoke to me about the practicality of planning out a career path. It's hard to imagine something is possible if you don't have role models that hold those positions.
If you are like me and are someone who needs to absolutely reset her career but feels too old to start all over, the quickest way to see the reality of your goals is to develop relationships with people who are already doing it and can advise you of the different options that you may not be aware of.
4. Take classes for a specific skill that you would like to improve.
You don't need a college degree to further your education. I don't know about you, but knowing shit is kind of cool and absolutely necessary to grow at any phase in your life. In my case, one of the biggest hurdles preventing me from growing my business is my lack of management skills; hence I need management classes. Depending on your specific situation, you might be overwhelmed with the thought of going back to school but that may not be necessary.
You can just take a course in a specific area of growth that you desire in order to change your career at 30. The confidence in your acquired knowledge might be the clarity you need to define your new path. Click here for the 13 best online-selling classes that you can now enroll in for only $10.
5. Strengthen your networking game like seriously.
Don't underestimate the power of networking. The easiest way to broaden your chances in life is to expand your network. By networking I mean meet a whole lot of new people but I also mean become useful to a whole lot of people. The book Nonstop Networking offers practical ways to be useful to virtually everyone you meet while having your needs met in the process.
Also you should not be going through this alone; share your desire for a career change with family and some of the new people you meet; you'll be amazed what surprises lie in your path.
6. Create a routine that maximizes your productivity and absolutely works for you.
Your dissatisfaction with your current career choice might be stemming from an unhappiness with your current routine. Take massive steps to change your environment and routine. Your daily routine should include goal setting, some form of exercise (even if it's just stretching in your apartment floor, or walking around your block for 30 minutes), and meditation for clarity.
Check out more skills for igniting behavioral change via this podcast here.
Naomi Alabi is a fashion entrepreneur and Women Empowerment Advocate. She is the creator of Street Fashion Week and Women of Power. Follow her on Instagram and check out her new series “Women of Power" here.
Featured image by Getty Images
- 8 Career-Defining Moves To Make In Your 30s | Career FAQs ›
- 30 Reasons Your Career Only Gets Better in Your 30s Read On ›
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- 10 Best Career Moves for Women in Their 30s | HuffPost ›
- Career Moves to Make in Your 30s | Money ›
- 10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s | Mark Manson ›
- Career Advice: Moves to Make in Your 30s | Money ›
- 5 Ugly Myths About Changing Career in Your 30s - TalentCulture ›
- 5 Ways To Reinvigorate Your Career In 30s ›
- What Science Says About Being In Your 30s | HuffPost ›
- Changes to make in your 30s - Business Insider ›
- This Is What Happens to Ambition in Your 30s ›
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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