Something that I've heard many therapists say before is, that because a lot of parents don't know how to appropriately and responsibly discipline their children, not only do they end up breaking their spirit before they become adults, but they can infect their natural sense of courage and inborn sense of creativity too. As a survivor of childhood abuse, I will wholeheartedly agree with that.
Yet, if there's one thing that I would add to that insight is, that poor discipline tactics (coupled with plain ole' lazy parenting skills) can also prevent babies, toddlers, children, and adolescents from 1) understanding what different emotions are and 2) how to process them whenever they have them.
That's why, whenever I'm dealing with a client who has young kids, something that I recommend is they invest in a childhood emotion chart (like this one here; if you're an adult who thinks you need one, you can check out one here). Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard our heart, a definition of heart is "center of emotions," and I truly do believe that the more in touch with our feelings we are, the more we can understand which emotions we should nurture, which ones are helpful or harmful—and which ones are alerting us to when someone isn't an individual who needs to be in our close, intimate and sacred space.
That's exactly what this article is devoted to. Because our emotions are so precious, if there are six types of people who you should consider a threat to your overall emotional health and well-being, these would have to be it. Hands down.
1. Manipulative People
Manipulation is a form of control. It's one of the things that I deal with often when I'm counseling married couples. If you've got an overall sense of what manipulation looks and lives like, but you'd appreciate me providing you with some clear character traits, I've got you. Manipulative people like to guilt-trip folks. Manipulative people play the victim whenever they are called out on their ish. Manipulative people rationalize their BS while many times deflecting away from accountability while trying to make you (or someone else) the cause of their poor decisions or offenses.
Manipulative people will do things you want them to, ONLY when they desire to get something from you in return. Manipulative people are mad passive-aggressive (you can check out an informative video on how passive-aggressive folks get down here). Manipulative people "play dumb" in order to gaslight you (in other words, when you confront a manipulative individual, they might act like they don't know what you are talking about in order to shake your sense of clarity or confidence). Manipulative people live for playing mind games. Manipulative people, in a nutshell, are the absolute worst.
Chances are, you know at least one truly manipulative individual. Because they want to put you on a set of puppet strings, it's important to not get heavily invested in them on the emotional tip because that is how they are able to control you so well. And what if you're already married to a manipulative person or you've got family members, co-workers, or other people you deal with daily who fit this bill? Boundaries.
Firm boundaries are good. Purchasing the bookBoundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (and/orBoundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships) can provide you with some a-ha moments to get you on the right track.
2. Opportunistic People
There is a particular guy who was in my life for many years. We had so much in common and our chemistry was so strong that I actually fell for him pretty hard. It wasn't until I realized that he was a total opportunist—not just with me but many others—that I recognized that a lot of his, how shall I say it, "participation" in our dynamic was more about what he could get out of me than actually wanting to be in my life simply because of who I am as a person.
Coming to this realization was pretty painful because it can be hard to accept that opportunists are basically chameleons; they will adapt themselves to whoever and whatever in order to get what they want. Then, once they've gotten what they need, they're out.
It was around this time last year when I penned the article, "6 Signs A New 'Friend' Is Nothing But An Opportunist". I wrote it so that you could know how to guard your heart when it comes to meeting new people (on the heels of that, also check out "Allow These Things To Happen Before Calling Someone 'Friend'"). Yet make no mistake about it, there's a pretty good chance that someone who you are already quite familiar with is only around to take advantage of what you have to offer as well.
One way to test this is to reflect on how much they take vs. how much they actually give. If the former far exceeds the latter, I'm pretty sure you know what that means, right? And what you need to do in response to that newfound revelation…right?
3. Hypocritical People
Boy, if this year ain't been nothin' else—and it already has been A LOT—it's definitely a series of crash courses in race relations; especially when it comes to learning how, for example, many evangelicals see things. Personally, because I went to a "Christian" school that provided disciplinary action for interracial dating, had a Canadian economics teacher who would call his Black students "nègre" (which I believe is the n-word in French), and where two of the most popular students in the school had parents who had picaninny figurines all throughout their house (figurines that the mother actually named after a lot of us)—I know all too well how whites can say they love the Lord, that they "love" Blacks and that aren't racist…even though they are very much so racist people.
Because their churches are segregated, along with their lifestyle, race relations, and social injustice (check out "Social Justice Is a Christian Tradition---Not a Liberal Agenda") are things that they don't think much about. Until events like what's going on currently in our society happen.
All of this shows up a lot whenever the topic of politics comes up. Just recently, a friend of mine was telling me about a friend of theirs (who is bi-ethnic, by the way) who was going on and on about how Trump is a "man of God" and we should support him because of that. I said to my friend, "Isn't it interesting how Obama was considered to be the antichrist by so many of the same people who think Trump is a Christian?" Trump. The man who, when he was asked what his favorite Bible verse was, he couldn't come up with a single one.
Trump. The man who teargassed protestors in order to take a picture in front of a church even though the church leaders didn't want him to. Trump, the man who, even though the Bible says, "Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy" (Psalm 72:4), is doing any and everything BUT that. (Let's start with "Trump administration still wants to cut food stamps" and "Trump Administration's Harmful Changes to Medicaid". Ugh.)
A hypocrite, by definition, is someone who says one thing and does something else. A part of the reason why so many people of color—Blacks, Hispanics, Native Americans—are currently in harm's way in this country is because a lot of folks apply one set of rules for one set of people and something totally different for others. A wise person once said, "I am cautious of people whose words and actions don't match their words."
While all of us tend to do hypocritical things from time to time, an all-out hypocrite is a walking contradiction, most of the time. They can't be trusted because of this. Guard your heart and mind in dealing with this type of individual. Not some of the time; all of it.
4. Emotionally Cryptic People
This will probably be my shortest and most potent point. What in the world do I mean by "emotionally cryptic"? Those are the people who you never really know where you stand. Why is that? Because they don't know either. They don't express their true feelings. They are hesitant to say anything that you can hold them accountable to and for. At the end of the day, it's like they totally get off on you playing a guessing game about how emotionally invested they are in you.
The really sad part about this is, that they are mysterious and ambiguous on purpose because they want you to remain in a state of perpetual confusion so that you'll be too puzzled and baffled to call them out and leave them alone. If someone immediately came to your mind, build up some walls, sis. They absolutely DO NOT have your best interest at heart. Pretty much ever.
5. Inconsistent People
I can't remember if I shared it on this platform or not, but a few years ago, when I decided to assess why I kept going through some of the same kind of drama in my friendships with women, I had to accept two things. One, that I had envy issues with some of them (due to how they looked or how guys perceived them to be). Two, a lot of them were emotionally unstable and highly inconsistent (a few eventually went to therapy to figure out why). Those two things are a HORRIFIC combination if you're trying to maintain any kind of healthy relationship. One day, we'd be all good. The next day, either I'd be low-key jealous or they would be in a mood that I didn't see coming. It would result in emotional roller coaster rides that were not only unfortunate but borderline toxic.
Once I put some real effort into getting my self-esteem together, it caused me to take ownership of where I was contributing to the drama and then set some healthier boundaries in my relationships. As a result, these days, when folks are hot and cold all of the time, I tend to put some space between us.
Inconsistent individuals will have you out here walking on eggshells, constantly censoring yourself, and feeling more like you are babysitting someone instead of hanging out with a true peer. Matter of fact, the older I get, the more attractive consistency is to me, even if someone consistently does something I don't necessarily like. At least I know what I'm dealing with at all times and prepare myself, which is something that I definitely can't say for folks who are totally unpredictable who are always catching—and throwing—others totally off guard.
6. Non-Committing People
In some ways, I saved the best for last. Do you know how much heartache would be spared if many of us emotionally distanced ourselves from people who are commitment phobes? I'm not just talking about when it comes to romantic relationships either. I've had friends who will make abstract plans, not commit to an actual time or place, and then shoot blanks—over and over again. I've had bosses who would claim that they would take my job performance seriously enough to promote me but wouldn't actually say when I could expect to see any chances—for years on end. Hmph. Don't even get me started on family members who have not kept their word and broken all sorts of promises, a billion times over.
The reason why the word "commit" is so important, in pretty much any type of relational situation, is because it speaks to building trust between two people. It's about doing what you said you would and the other individual being able to fully rely on you because of it. People who honor their commitments are not only mature individuals, they are people who show that they respect whomever they are making a commitment to, no matter how big or small the commitment may actually be. If you've got people in your life who you can't realize depend on or believe, while you might not be able to banish them from your world, definitely keep your emotional defenses up to some extent. Non-committers are chronic disappointers who can really hurt your feelings. The good news is they only can if you let them, though. For the sake of your emotional safety, please make sure that you do.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Black Moms Are Unapologetically Making Travel Memories With Their Children
Cynthia “SimplyCyn” Andrew, an attorney, content creator, and mother of two, remembers the eye-rolls and looks of exasperation from other travelers when boarding a flight with her then-twin baby boys.
“Now, when I hear people say, ‘Oh my God! Why is there a baby on this flight?’ I have no patience,” she said. “Kids are not prisoners to one location. Kids vacation and need to go from one country to the other, visit grandparents, and families move. We share this world, and we share public transportation.”
Cynthia, her husband, and their now-4-year-old boys are part of the growing number of families who are traveling and taking their small kids along for the ride to explore the world.
She, along with mom, law student, and travel content creator Kenniqua Mon’a, shared with xoNecole tips from their experiences venturing thousands of miles with their tots, racking up passport stamps, and enjoying U.S. adventures. They’re changing the narrative on how to travel with kids and sharing tips on navigating everything from temper tantrums thousands of feet in the air to sneaking in some solo time on that next vacation.
On Reasons To Travel With Children While They're Young
Courtesy of Cynthia “SimplyCyn” Andrews
Cynthia: "Like everything in life, you share with your children the things you naturally love, whether it's food, music, or a hobby. There are things that make you who you are, and [for my husband I] travel has always been a part of who we were. [As parents] we naturally kept doing the things we love, and it only made sense to bring the kids."
Kenniqua: "I didn’t get on my first flight until college. That’s one thing I regret and I knew I didn’t want that for my daughter, Ryan, and that’s why she was on her first flight at three months old."
Akin to parenting, there’s no one-size-fits-all manual for traveling with your little ones. But, with these four tips, you’ll make it from Point A to Point B in one piece-sanity as guaranteed as your checked luggage.
On Embracing Spontaneity
Cynthia: "You make sure [kids] get up and go to sleep at the same time and eat meals at a certain time. What gets lost in that is spontaneity, you lose the sense of adventure and the ability to dream and imagine differently. While traveling in Croatia, we started to take the kids back to the hotel for their nap, but instead, we just put the boys into their strollers and just let them nap while we got to sit, people-watch, and have conversations with other adults."
On The Concern The "Too Young To Remember" Myth
Courtesy of Kenniqua Mon'a
Kenniqua: "I take a million photos and videos, so eventually, my daughter will see all these amazing places she has visited. She’ll see herself in different states and countries- when she was running around at two years old and then at 20. Being able to compare those experiences is something I look forward to."
On Making Time For Solo Enjoyment
Cynthia: "I’ll do an activity solo for a few hours in the morning while Dad takes the kids, and then he’ll do something solo for a few hours while I take the kids, and then we all do something together. We both get to explore with the kids and as a family, but it gives us each a solo moment to breathe and do things we enjoy on our own."
On Making The Most Of Down Time
Kenniqua: "I plan as much as possible to make sure my daughter is not only occupied, but we’re also having fun as a family, even during long-haul flights and road trips. We play games so traveling time can be interactive and we are actually communicating and spending time with her during those moments. So your kid doesn’t just feel like, 'Oh, I'm just sitting here, and I'm bored.'"
On Lessons Learned From Traveling With Children
Courtesy of Cynthia “SimplyCyn” Andrew
Kenniqua: "A lot of times, young kids will get agitated or irritated because they can’t communicate those things or don’t know how, and they [have a tantrum.] As a parent, you can’t worry about what everyone else is thinking or saying. All you can do is control what you can and comfort your child in those moments."
Cynthia: "My son [is autistic], and it's almost like he's this really tight rubber band sometimes, but every time we travel, it kind of stretches him out a little bit, and he becomes a little more open to trying new things—more open to being around different people. We’re seeing this growth in him through travel, so that’s an additional benefit."
To all parents eager to travel with their children, Cynthia offered a bit of advice. "Don’t stress about getting there. Just remember you’re going to have the best time when you get to your destination."
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