

What exactly are essential oils? Probably the best way to explain them is, they are compounds that are extracted from various types of plants. Essential oils are processed in such a way that they are able to maintain the plant's scent, taste and health benefits. Personally, I am a huge fan of them. I like how potent they are. I like how helpful they are. And, I like how long the scent of them linger. Yeah, essential oils are dope.
When I first started using them, it was strictly as a perfume/cologne alternative. These days, I use them for homeopathic reasons too. Lavender is great for sleep. Rosemary is great for hair growth. You can check out my article, "8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last" to see how they can help you out, in a major way, in the bedroom department (wink). But if you'd like to learn about how to apply essential oils in a therapeutic health-related kind of way, not only do I have six different oils that I think you should get into, but six places on your body where you should put them. Are you ready to start feeling much better? Let's do this.
(Special note: Make sure to always mix essential oils with some type of carrier oil. Most of them are quite potent and can irritate your skin if you don't.)
1. Hairline
Aside from the fact that applying a little lavender oil (along with a carrier oil like jojoba or coconut) can help to stop a receding hairline, because lavender is the kind of oil that contains properties that help to treat anxiety, insomnia and even depression-related symptoms, it would make sense why massaging a little of it along your hairline or temples would be a great way to reduce stress. In fact, if you have a headache or even a migraine, applying the oil to this area of your head can help to relieve some of the pain and tension that you feel.
Application Tip: While it's super effective to massage lavender oil directly along your hairline or onto your temples, an alternative approach is to put a few drops on a piece of tissue and inhale the oil directly. While this method won't do anything to get your hair to grow back, it can help to knock your headache discomfort within a matter of moments.
2. Rim of Ears
Just like a lot of research points to the fact that a lot of health issues can be diagnosed (and relieved) through reflexology, there are also studies that reveal providing special attention to our ears can help to heal our systems too; it's called auriculotherapy. When people participate in auricular acupuncture, it can do everything from lower blood pressure and relieve stress to suppress appetites and improve their quality of sleep.
If you'd prefer to "ease into" auriculotherapy, something that you might want to try is rubbing some rose oil on the rim of your ears. The properties in rose oil are perfect for increasing feelings of calm, fighting migraines and even creating a mental atmosphere in order to make sounder decisions.
Application Tip: Add 2-3 drops of rose oil to a half teaspoon of sweet almond oil. Apply some of the oil to your fingertips and then rub the oil blend along the rim of both ears. Rub it in as much as possible and allow the oil to penetrate for the rest of the day.
3. Wrists
A lot of times, when we think of applying something to our wrists, it's strictly for scent purposes. However, this is a great place to put essential oils for health reasons too. Because your radial artery runs along the inside of your wrists, applying oils there is one of the fastest ways for the oils to hit your bloodstream. A good oil to try is oregano oil. It's a potent oil that fights bacteria, reduces free radicals and reduces bodily inflammation. So, if you're feeling under the weather, some oregano oil on your wrists might be all that you need to get to feeling like your old self again.
Application Tip: Again, since your wrist is a pulse point, it's a good idea to check out this essential oil dilution chart, just so you can determine how much carrier oil to mix in with the kind of oregano oil that you plan to use.
4. Stomach
If you've got digestive issues of any kind, you might want to rub some peppermint oil onto your tummy. Aside from it being the kind of oil that can clear up congestion, relieve PMS-related symptoms and help to speed up the healing process of the common cold, peppermint oil is also able to reduce nausea, treat irritable bowel syndrome and make menstrual cramps more bearable too.
Application Tip: Peppermint oil is pretty potent, so you'll probably only need 3-5 drops per one-third cup of your favorite carrier oil (due to olive oil's antioxidants, it's a good pick for this). Warm up the oil in your microwave for 15 seconds and then massage the oil directly into your abdomen. The menthol will provide a cooling sensation as the warm oil soothes you at the same time. Also, if you'd prefer to drink the oil, you can put a couple of drops into your water or smoothie, so long as the peppermint oil is 100 percent pure.
5. Legs
Whether you've got restless leg syndrome, varicose veins or muscle soreness, chamomile oil is a wonderful natural remedy. It's an oil that reduces inflammation and muscle spasms. Chamomile oil also heals wounds and skin conditions like eczema and rashes, plus it can promote a good night's sleep.
Application Tip: Either add 10-15 drops of chamomile oil into your bathwater or massage your legs with 3-5 drops per a cup of your favorite carrier oil. Massage your legs right after showering or bathing for instant relief from any discomfort that your legs may be feeling.
6. Bottom of Feet
One of the reasons why you should be extra cautious about where you choose to walk around barefoot is because some of the largest pores on your body are located at the bottom of your feet. This means that, similar to your wrists, this is another way for essential oils to hit your bloodstream quicker.
For this reason, bergamot is a wonderful oil to apply to this part of your body. Its antibacterial and antibiotic properties fight infection, alleviate pain, lower blood pressure, relieve stress and, if you rub the oil on your entire foot, bergamot will keep it extra smooth too.
Application Tip: A cool way to massage the bottom of your feet while applying bergamot oil to it is to use a roll-on. You can purchase empty bottles for essential oil via sites like Etsy and Got Oil Supplies. Now what are you waiting on? Get some essential oil and get to feeling better!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
7 Essential Oils All Naturalistas Need For Their Hair
The DIY Way To Prep Your Feet For Spring
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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