Whew. Okay, so anyone who grew up “churched” and has never heard of what I’m about to share is probably already a little shook when it comes to the title of this piece. Because oh, believe you me, I went to Christian schools along with church every Sabbath back in the day and I think that it was at least once every few months that 666 and the mark of the beast (which comes out of Revelation 13:18 of the Bible) would come up in some sort of conversation.
This time, though, it has nothing to do with Scripture or end times theories nor is it a slight on a man (like him being evil or something). It’s actually speaking of, what seems to be a constant, relentless, and ever-growing-in-popularity desire that many women have when it comes to the kind of guy that they want to have a long-term relationship with — and it just happens to be that the three top traits all have the number “6” in it.
What To Know About The 6-6-6 Man: 6 Feet, 6 Figures, 6 Inches
And actually, because I know many of the things that six symbolizes, the 6-6-6 man is fascinating because the number represents things like physically appealing, high standards, domestic happiness, and stability (hmm…).
So, whether you already know about this kind of man and want him, or you’ve never heard of him before and you want to learn more, let’s do some unpacking, shall we? Because, like most things in life, a 6-6-6 man is more than just a catchphrase or notion, chile.
What Is a 6-6-6 Man? He's 6 Feet Tall.
Two things that I’m pretty big on are stats and studies. A part of the reason is that, while a lot of people think that their feelings are facts, stats and studies are rooted in more than emotions that can change on a dime — there’s research, surveys, and hardcore intel involved. So, when it comes to physicality, it’s interesting that while a lot of women are consumed with height, a lot of men are consumed with “width” and neither wants to compromise much. Meanwhile, the stats reveal that only roughly 15 percent of men are over 6 ft and the average dress size in America right now is somewhere between 16-18. So, while you can want what you want all day long, you’ve also got to take into account what is actually available.
And how do I know that 6 ft. stands (pun intended) out for women? Because any time I’m out in the YouTube streets watching videos about what women find to be desirable, I can almost say it along with them that he must be at least 6’ tall. Some say it’s because a tall man makes them feel safe and secure. Others say that they don’t find short men attractive. Still, others don’t really know why they actually need a guy who is six inches taller towering over them, if they’re say only 5’4” in height themselves.
Me? I’m 5’6” and most of the men I’ve dated (or sex-ed) have been basketball player-tall. I did some soul searching and I think a part of it is because I was molested by a family member when I was younger (and much shorter) and so I was subconsciously programmed to think that as I got taller, the men in my life should be too. Once I factored that into what I thought was merely my preference, the desire ceased to be quite as rigid. Not to mention the fact that I’ve spent many years with super tall men who were shorter on character.
I mean, if ONLY 15 PERCENT of men are that tall, am I really going to automatically cancel someone who is 5’9” or 5’10”? How ridiculous would that be? Hmph. According to two Black women, VERY.
One of them is a Black influencer who has a YouTube channel called Only One Jess. She got married last year to what appears to be a very remarkable young man. She’s 5’1” and he’s 5’3” and she regularly brings up that, if she had stayed hung up on his height, she definitely would’ve missed out — BIG TIME. The other woman is someone, who, I wish I had kept the video because she PREACHED PREACHED when she said this about her around 5’7” man: “I had a father to look up to while growing up, so I don’t need my husband to overcompensate.”
BOOM! 10 TIMES! I hope y’all caught all-a-dat too!
What Is a 6-6-6 Man? He's 6 Inches Long.
Over the years, I’ve written quite a few pieces for this platform on the topic of penises including “Apparently, A Certain Penis Size Can Make Us Orgasm The Most (Chile)” (it’s eight inches, by the way) and “Sex Hacks For Different Kinds Of Penises (You Heard Me Right).” However, the one that probably deserves the most attention when it comes to this particular topic is “BDE: Please Let The ‘It Needs To Be Huge’ Myth Go.” If you haven’t checked it out (yet), it’s about a wife I know who has a husband with a lot to offer in the genitalia department, who actually has a pretty dysfunctional sex life with him (still) and a huge (no pun intended) reason is because his ego is far bigger than his package and his performance is less than stellar as a direct result.
As a marriage life coach for well over 15 years at this point, I’ve heard literally countless stories from women who’ve said that a big penis isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — that oftentimes we just say that we want that because we’ve been conditioned to; that a smaller size is just fine when your partner is attentive, selfless and confident.
Besides, I will continue to say until ALL of the cows come home that the average size penis 5.5” erect, our vaginas expand to 4.75” when aroused and our most intense nerve endings are 2” inside of it. Moral of the story? You can get stimulated just fine with a smaller size. Science says so.
In fact, the reason why many women struggle with experiencing a vaginal (penetration) orgasm isn’t because a man’s penis isn’t large enough, it’s either because their clitoris is too far away from their vagina for both to be stimulated by penetration (which no woman has any control over) or they’re not in a sex position where their clitoris can be stimulated during intercourse (the spoon position immediately comes to mind).
When it comes to my past sexual dealings, I surpassed the TMI mark a long time ago (check out “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners” for instance). So, I’ll be the first to say that I’ve had some really large, umm, men in my lifetime and sometimes all I got out of the deal was a lot of bladder and yeast infections. In fact, the guy who gave me the most vaginal orgasms actually had one of the most average penises out of everyone. So, please don’t be out here resolved that only 9” (or hell, even the popular 8”) can please you. It’s one of the greatest lies ever told.
What Is a 6-6-6 Man? He Has 6 Figures in the Bank Account
Okay, so from what I’ve read and researched, somewhere around 33 percent of Americans currently make six figures (only nine percent earn a million on an annual basis). In Black households, 18 percent earn six figures. So, as far as availability and options go, that’s pretty much up with the height thing that I was talking about earlier.
Now to add some real perspective to this (beyond some women just parroting what they hear other women say), if the goal is to live a comfortable life, where you live plays a huge role in that (so does if you have and/or desire to have children). But let’s say that you’re only factoring in yourself and your future husband for the next 2-3 years or so. If you lived in Alabama, you’d currently need around $60,000 a year to be better-than-good (in the $60K range is the average for a lot of southern states), around $92,000 to live in Maryland, and — surprise, surprise — close to six figures to live in California and New York.
However, if you’re working too and you plan on contributing to the household expenses (and if you’re not…why not? It’s a fair question), then a man could still make, say, 60 or even 70 percent of what we see here and still hold things down, in all of these states, pretty damn well.
My point? When it comes to “requiring” a man — especially a Black man when only 18 percent of Black people even qualify for this particular “6” — ask yourself why that’s such a big deal to you. How much of it has to do with what you’ve heard on the internet or some ridiculous reality show? How much of it is rooted in some semi-unrealistic expectations? And most importantly, how much of it is such a big deal that you’d pass up a great man who makes $55,000 just so you can have your “6”…a “6” who just might not ever come? #justsaying
What a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
“I’ve been a six-figure earner since I was in my late 20s. I’m well aware of the 6-6-6 phenomenon and I personally think it’s comedy because a lot of women who say they want that kind of man have no clue what his standards are — or if they do, they say that we’re full of ourselves. I’m not gonna lie — we have a lot of events where we want to show our woman off and so, there’s just a certain beauty standard that’s required."
"There are a lot of women who want us and so our patience level is pretty short because we’re not going to argue with one woman when we can find another who is far more accommodating. But the main thing that women miss about us is in order to make a lot of money, we have to do a lot of work. We just don’t have the kind of time to be doing the type of bulls — t that they see on television — three dates a week, traveling all of the time, constantly going on shopping sprees, and talking on the phone. In fact, a lot of us would be considered ‘cheap’ because we’re putting more money into investments than trying to woo a woman."
"That’s why a lot of women who’ve dated us see us as assh—es. It took a lot of work and focus on self to get where we are, especially when we’re Black. We’re very calculated on who gets to reap the benefits of that — and when.” - Dean, 45, in a long-term relationship
What a Woman with a 6-6-6 Man Has to Say About Being in a Relationship with One:
“My husband is 6’3,” I won’t share his penis size because it’s none of your business; just know that I qualify to answer this question. And as far as how much he earns, it’s around $170,000. When we first got married, that wasn’t the case. He was still in school. And although I won’t lie and say that I don’t enjoy not having to worry about how the lights are going to stay on or if we can take a vacation every summer, it all comes at a price.”
“Back when my husband was making less money, he had more time. He could also be more spontaneous. I don’t know what makes people think that [being] financially secure means more leisure time — unless you’re wealthy, rarely is that the case. I can also tell you for a fact that holding him down while he was on the ‘broker side’ of things is why he’s so willing to give to me now. Men who make a lot of money have a difficult time trusting which is why it can be hard to get them to marry you once they’ve already ‘made it.'”
“I just think that women need to be very mature, very secure, and extremely willing to make some sacrifices as far as time and expectations. You might have more money to play around with but sometimes that comes at the expense of not having him as much as you did before his tax bracket switched up on you.” - Wendell, 39, married 14 years
Never Forget: Trends Are Not (Automatically or Necessarily) Standards
Uh-huh. I already know. Some of y’all just read all of this and were like, “If I can’t have a 6-6-6, I’ll just stay single then.” I mean, if that’s what you want to put out into the universe, it’s your world, and the best of luck to you. I just wanted to make sure that you realized the reality of the combo and what comes along with it.
Besides, don’t let social media — hell, media in general — have you out here believing that just because they push a particular “good man narrative” down our throats that it’s actually a standard. Plenty of famous people tank their relationships on a daily basis…and many of them had a 6-6-6 man (again…just saying).
Bottom line, having preferences is fine. Just try not to be so rigid about what you think a good man is that you miss up on the right one. One who might be a bit shorter than 6 ft, whose penis might be shy of 6 inches and who may make five figures (or may have some but not all three) — but is a blue ribbon winner in standards that aren’t current trends.
Amen? Amen.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Message From A Mad Black Woman: Y’all Keep The Blue Bracelets, We’ll Take Our Rest.
Mere hours after the 2024 presidential election results made it clear that the United States would need to gird its loins for a second Trump presidency, a gaggle of women ran over to social media to announce that blue bracelets would serve as a new sign of solidarity. A safe space, if you will.
This declaration came about in response to Black women openly voicing their disappointment in both the election results and exit poll data that showed that not just white people, but Latinos and women of “all other races” had played a surprising role in the now President-Elect, Donald Trump’s reelection.
These exit polls quickly became the object of Black women’s attention and ultimate disappointment. Because while Black women went out and reliably voted for Vice President Kamala Harris to the tune of 91%, white women handed Trump 53% of their collective vote, Latino women 36%, and women of “other races” 46%.
On the night of November 5, 2024, Black women were left in shock. This shock would morph into disappointment, and the disappointment was a consequence of what, some would begin to argue, felt like, well, betrayal.
Like Rome, though, this heart-wrenching disappointment wasn’t built in a day.
Screenshot from "2024 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Set-Up
On Sunday, July 21, President Joe Biden announced that he would not be seeking reelection - a decision that followed the disastrous one-and-done debate against former president Donald Trump, the subsequent wavering of major donors, and growing calls for a new candidate to run on the Democrat’s ticket. Hours after Biden’s announcement, Vice President Kamala Harris would send Beyoncé's internet into a frenzy by announcing that she would seek the party’s nomination.
That July night, 44,000 Black women assembled via Zoom to stress test the limits of the meeting app, break historical fundraising records, and strategize - subsequently setting into motion a series of virtual meet-ups. As a result, more Zoom meetings cropped up, bringing together attendees connected through countless combinations of backgrounds, orientations, and genders.
One said meeting was held by and for 164,000 “White Women for Kamala” who’d come together to publicly declare that they’d regretted not doing more in 2016 and were ready to use their privilege for the sake of advocacy and allyship.
A woman wearing an anti-Trump button as she listens to Democratic presidential nominee VP Kamala Harris speak at a campaign event on Oct. 18, 2024.
Bill Pugliano/Getty Images
For months, white women made it a point to convince Black women that they were on board - ensuring us that they were ready to seize their second chance at pushing back on the pillars of the patriarchy. The same group who’d failed to answer the call of rejecting Trump’s racist, sexist, and xenophobic antics before swore, for months, that they’d seen the error of their ways and were looking for redemption. The alleged fix? Betting better. Doing more. Voting differently.
While there was an understanding undertone of apprehension from Black women, the rhetoric began to lend itself to hope — with some going so far as to lift the moratorium on cookout invites. There seemed to be a collective sigh. A brief moment of unity.
The Let-Down
Little did Black women know, they were about to be played like a fiddle by the same group who, like in 2016 and 2020, were more interested in their own self-preservation than in actual change. This short-lived hope was dashed on Nov. 5 as the true nature of performative allyship became evident.
Turns out, the Black women who’d served at the helm of the movement, bless their hearts, had been bamboozled. Hoodwinked. Swindled. Like a modern-day Boo Boo the Fool. Believing the hook, line, and sinker, it was almost cute, in a tragic sort of way. They saw the potential, the hope, and the promise, drinking the red Kool-Aid, so to speak, eagerly awaiting the revolution.
The excessive blue hearts and social media commentary pledging solidarity had turned out to be performative or had over-indexed the voices of the 44% who were actually in solidarity. Either way, the seemingly overwhelming allyship wasn’t there, reminding Black women that while they are constantly expected to stand on the front lines for so many, rarely is there any ally who will actually show up for them.
A History of Short-Lived, Self-Serving Allyship
The 2024 election wasn’t the first time we’d seen this type of performative allyship, though. While a noble concept in theory, the kinds of allyship that have been displayed in many movements across The States have far too often missed the actual point. In fact, throughout U.S. history, allyship has actually been used more as a tool to bolster a single group’s positioning in the social hierarchy rather than genuinely advocating for the progression of marginalized groups.
Think back to 2020. Just months after the COVID-19 pandemic forced much of the country into isolation, remote work, the acknowledgment of essential workers as, well, essential, and, for some reason, bread-making. For 9 minutes and 29 seconds, the world watched, helplessly, as a powerless George Floyd was slowly pulled away from the world, drained by Officer Derek Chauvin's knee to his nape. In a traumatic 8 minutes and 46 seconds, the world seemingly changed.
Ira L. Black/Corbis via Getty Images
Protests quickly spread across the globe, and along with it, a wave of “allyship” swept across America. Large corporations, scrambling to answer the calls of Black employees, consumers, and investors demanding that they use their financial prowess to do more to prevent the next Floyd, almost instantly began releasing statements of solidarity, pledging donations to “racial justice” causes, and promising to promote more Black employees.
However, as quickly as these gestures showed up, most were forgotten, with almost all proving to have provided minimal impact on the groups they’d pledged to help. While some companies, like Target, increased their spending on Black-owned businesses, others faced scrutiny for their lack of substantive change.
A study by Color Of Change found that only 17% of companies that pledged donations after Floyd's death had fulfilled their commitments. Data compiled by theWashington Post found that two years after America’s 50 largest publicly traded companies pledged a collective $50 billion to racial justice causes, just 37 had disbursed a collective $1.7 billion. What’s worse?
Ninety percent of the pledged amount - or $45.2 billion - had been allocated in the form of mortgages, loans, and investments that the companies themselves would more than likely benefit from. These companies said one thing and did another and still found a way to benefit from the delta.
Performative Allyship: Civil Rights & Women’s Liberation Movements
This type of allyship is new, though. It didn’t take long for powerful groups to figure out that the simple appearance of allyship was, for the most part, good for business and the bottom line. For decades, powerful entities have publicly supported movements only to be later found to have engaged in discriminatory practices, highlighting the consistent disconnect.
During the Civil Rights Movement, companies issued statements of solidarity and even donated to civil rights organizations, but behind the scenes, they continued to segregate their workforces and refuse to hire Black employees for higher-level positions. During the Women's Liberation Movement, advertisers capitalized on the feminist moment by incorporating imagery and slogans associated with women's empowerment into their campaigns, while the underlying message of many advertisements reinforced traditional gender roles and stereotypes.
The difference between what is said and what is done has time after time exposed the shallowness of allyship, highlighting how it has mostly served as a tool for public relations rather than a genuine commitment to social justice and to the marginalized groups who are most at risk by the upholding of the status quo.
For two election cycles straight, white women posed as allies and still voted in a way that upheld the power structure that they benefit from - with many understanding that the survival of white supremacy is of more value to them than sexism and misogyny is a threat. In 2016 and 2020, 52% and 55% of white women, respectively, decided that they’d rather keep their position of second place in the social hierarchy than risk dismantling it and being forced to find a new place in society.
Latino women and women of “all of the races” followed the trend - blatantly ignoring the warnings of the same Black women who have not only been on the front lines of social justice but who are often called into the lead movements in communities that are not there own - increasing their support for Trump between 2016 and 2025 by 13% and 15% respectively.
Screenshot from "2020 Exit Polls," NBC News, accessed Nov. 12, 2024.
The Blue Bracelets are Going to Be A “No”
On the night of Nov. 5, 2024, Black women watched their country look at a qualified, experienced, capable, and willing Black woman and say, “Nah, we good.” It was on this night that a group that had been denied democratic rights for centuries, but had still attempted to rescue American democracy far too many times, only to be let down, put away the warnings, and began issuing a new declaration - they were opting out.
Black women have decided to lean into rest and recuperation - uninterested in any additional work that will, more than likely, end in disappointment and betrayal. For many Black women, the suggestion to wear blue bracelets as a symbol of solidarity is patronizing and dismissive of a greater and more complex issue. It’s a way to absolve the women who let Black women down for failing to keep promises made while simultaneously positioning the wearer as morally superior.
It fails to address the historically deep betrayal that Black women have experienced at the hands of their country and, more specifically, their own countrywomen. The request reduces the fight for equality to a simple, superficial gesture when allyship isn’t aesthetic and Black women deserve more than a symbol.
While the blue bracelets may be the new fashion choice for white women attempting to set themselves apart, to symbolize that they were on the right side of history, for many Black women, it’ll always be difficult to trust. In fact, it may serve as a symbol of a hollow and fleeting promise for the Black women who have done the tireless and thankless work for justice and equality.
For now, Black women are choosing themselves. Anywhere between a few days and the next four years should be enough time to reset and recoup. And who knows, they may even find the excess capacity means energy to train as pilots, restart forgotten yoga practices, expand the business, or earn that second Ph.D.
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