As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Monique White's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I completed race #43 in Chile just days before the country closed its borders.
So close to my goal, yet so far away.
The goal?
To quite literally run the world, starting with the #MoniqueRuns50 goal, which is to run half or full marathons in 50 countries by my 50th birthday. I was on track to complete this before the world went on lockdown, but all plans have changed and I've refused to allow it to discourage me. Instead, I've pivoted this goal and slightly altered it due to all canceled and postponed races.
Now, I plan to meet my goal within my 50th year (before my 51st birthday).
I'm originally from Los Angeles, California, a graduate of the University of Notre Dame and Howard University's School of Law. Currently, I live in the Netherlands, where I've resided for 21 beautiful years.
I became an avid runner after watching the 1992 Summer Olympics one day. The sprinters had such beautiful bodies and I needed to get in shape. I started slow, trotting around my neighborhood, carefully finding my rhythm. But I wasn't seeing the results I was looking for. Unfortunately, my Olympic body never showed up that year, but it did fuel my passion for running.
It wasn't until nearly a year later that I ran my first distance race – 10km in Leiden, Netherlands – then a half marathon in Amsterdam, and in 2010 my first full marathon, also in Amsterdam.
And just like that, I was in love.
Initially, I just wanted to just run various races around the Netherlands but after completing a few races in France and making a point to log miles in every country and city I traveled to, my vision expanded along with my territory, and I upgraded that goal to a quest to run the world.
To date, I have ran more than 45 full and half marathons in 43 countries, on 6 continents. I have several more on the calendar and I'm only 7 marathons away from fulfilling my purpose. Imagine that; fulfilling your purpose. What a feeling.
In 2013, I considered chasing a much larger goal in earnest. Morocco, Israel, Spain, Sweden, and Iceland were among the places that I ran that year. By now, I was aware that I'd not only completed races in several different countries but on 4 continents as well. However, I had no interest in running on all 7 continents, because all continents would include Antarctica, which means cold – hella cold, freezing even, and...nah.
I continued running the world, and then sometime in 2015 I took a good look at my race history, and with close to closing out 20 countries at that point, I decided to hone in on my quest and make a more defined goal. Additionally, I was going through a divorce, and approaching 50, which, as I noted in my journal: "Creeping up on 50…who am I kidding? There's no creeping. The speed at which that birthday is approaching is faster than any pace I've ever run."
I needed something to focus on, a distraction, something to run TOWARD. With races in nearly 20 countries to my credit and awareness of the trend of running races in all 50 states, I modeled my goal after that. And that is how #MoniqueRuns50 came to fruition.
Over time, I collected memories of some of the most beautiful routes, opportunities, countries, and spiritual pavement miles—my favorite being the Pyramids Half Marathon in Cairo, which I ran earlier this year. Running around the Pyramids was euphoric—the only appropriate way to describe the experience. I have run lots of races in lots and lots of places, and I can honestly say that none are probably as amazingly scenic as a "race through history" in the Great Pyramid of Giza – the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World – as a backdrop.
The Florence Marathon was another favorite of mine, which despite – or probably because—running in the middle of a very contentious divorce, I made my very best finishing time—a much-needed personal victory.
Anyway, my journeys, destinations, and travels have always been constant themes in my life, so I held on to my running passion, amidst my adversities, including an injury a couple of years ago that stopped my running for more than 6 months and also put a stop to about 10 perspective races I had planned for that year.
Needless to say, as much as I love running, running in my purpose, hasn't been all cute running gear and awesome medals. There have been some bumps in the road and major setbacks.
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Ladies, I share my story, because it's time for us to welcome worldly fitness and healthy habits into our lives, and it is so important that we find joy in it. I preach this to any and every black woman that I'm fortunate enough to come across.
Although I wouldn't necessarily say there are stigmas surrounding black women and running, I just don't always see as much representation as I'd like.
And with organizations such as Black Girls RUN! or the National Black Marathoners' Association, black runners are now heavily supported, something not many know about.
These organizations show that black women's running ability can expand far beyond the scope of what we see when it comes to the training and sprinting and going up and down a basketball court or football field. We can go the distance as well. And we are showing up and showing out in marathon century clubs, 50 state marathon clubs, and even the 7-continent marathon club (like the Black Icee Project).
As for how I'm combating the lack of representation, I just get out there and run. And mostly, I represent.
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When I'm overwhelmed, I spend more time praying, reading my Bible, and journaling. Post-runs, I always go for a shower, chow down on something that includes protein and practice active recovery, such as a brisk walk to help combat stiffness. OH, and a good ole glass of wine. I also look to my amazing daughters (18, 16), they ease any worries I have in my day.
Sisters, if you're interested in marathon running, go for it. Find a good training plan that's at least 6 months long. Build your stamina, go longer than you think you can. Training is essential. Consider starting with the run-walk method/Galloway plan. Remember to warm up and cool down. And always incorporate rest days.
My 44th marathon will be here before you know it and I'll be hitting my 50th birthday this August (or as I like to say, sooner than I'd like to admit). I welcome you to join my journey and run with me, I welcome you to experience my view.
Because nothing is going to stop me from finishing.
Monique plans to complete her 44th marathon as soon as the pandemic weakens and she's able to continue her journey. Follow her travel or running pages, as well as her hashtag #MoniqueRuns50, on Instagram to keep up with her next marathon.
Featured image courtesy of Monique White
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert