Every year Forbes releases a list of the best companies to work for and Internet start-ups like Google, Twitter, AirBnB and Facebook continue to make those lists. These companies have become the model for what a perfect workplace utopia looks like. Vibrant employees, exciting work and amazing benefits make positions at these companies coveted and competitive. However, recently there has been an influx of people leaving these “perfect” jobs. How could it be possible for people to quit working at a place like AirBnB? Taylor Yarborough knows exactly what its like to discover that her “dream job” wasn’t the perfect place for her.
In the advertising world Ogilvy is considered one of the best agencies to work for and the best place to start a career in the advertising industry. The office culture, the client work and the reputation is what attracted Taylor to the company when she was a junior at Spelman. “It just seemed like the place where I needed to be. It was a big creative space, but it was corporate so it came with all of the amenities and perks that a large organization like it provides.” She applied for their summer internship and worked in the New York office before entering her senior year. She loved it so much that she secured an internship in Ogilvy’s Atlanta office during her last year in college, which later turned into a full-time job opportunity upon graduation.
She began to notice the difference between the New York office in comparison to the Atlanta office. “The accounts were different, the office culture was so much different, I started to think maybe I do like Ogilvy, but I just prefer the New York office better,” Taylor explained.
She really started feeling frustrated about her situation once she became a full-time employee. “It did not align with what I wanted to do within the advertising and marketing space and the cultural fit wasn’t clicking for me either,” she said. It did not take long for Taylor to feel that this dream place was not her dream anymore. “I really thought that I would work there for the rest of my life,” she shared. After an attempt to transfer to another office location, Taylor took a leap of faith and put in her month’s notice without securing another job offer. “I had to let the dream go that this was the only place for me, because it’s not true," Taylor explained.
We went to college, interned and networked our way to get into the places that seemed like it would be the perfect fit for our career goals and lifestyle. It happens to the best of us, but then we quickly discover that the position and company that we worked so hard to gain employment with isn’t what we imagined it would be. We start to go over it in our heads: I thought this was the place for me, but it’s not. What do I do now and how do I figure out what’s next for me? It’s a struggle when you have to come to terms that your perfect job isn’t so perfect after all. But before you throw in the towel, here are some ways to combat “perfect job syndrome” in your next job search:
DON'T BE BLINDSIDED BY THE HYPE
Crystal Marsh is a Millennial career coach based out of Los Angeles. The former attorney weighed in on the topic of "perfect job syndrome" and offered some advice for those searching for the perfect job. “I think people put certain companies on a pedestal because of brand familiarity. It’s a company that they know and love, so you imagine that it’s going to be an amazing place to work. A lot of these companies are a great place to work, but it doesn’t necessarily make it the great place for you or even a cultural fit for you. It might not align with your skill sets and gifts,” she explained.
As consumers, we fall in love with brands like Pepsi, Google and Twitter. Name recognition excites us and the people around us when we work at these cool brands. I remember the reaction and favoritism that I would receive at networking events when I worked for particular companies based on brand familiarity. The last part of my work email got me into many rooms that I wouldn’t be able to get in otherwise and afforded me many perks, but those places might not have been the right cultural fit for me. Just because we have an understanding and appreciation for these exciting brands from a consumer point-of-view, doesn’t always mean that working for the brand will be the perfect fit for us. Don't let the popularity of the brand, blind you from what your true career goals are. Perks and benefits are great, but those incentives won't elevate your passion or your purpose.
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DISCOVER COMPANY CULTURE BEFORE APPLYING
I’ve applied to many places when I was desperate for employment, not caring whether the company would actually fit my needs. It left me feeling like I wasted months and even years in a space that didn’t align with my career goals. After feeling like I had to start over again way too many times, I started to be particular about the places I applied to. I started to be proactive about my needs from a company by having informational interviews.
“If there is a company that you really want to work for and you admire the brand make sure you learn the cultural fit of the company. Be clear on how employees feel about it as well. Informational interviews are really great, but its even better if you can get an information interview with a former employee. There’s the chance that you can get more of the real scoop from someone who is no longer working for the company,” Crystal says.
MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Starting a new job is exciting because it’s making that first step towards your goals and earning a livelihood. However, while stepping in the door of your first job you should remember to be open minded and accepting to the things that you discover about the culture and the employees you will be working for. Not everything you encounter that first week is going to impress you.
“When you start [the jobs] almost seem perfect, but I think I didn’t do a good job managing my own expectations so after a couple of weeks I thought maybe this isn’t perfect. I think I may have enjoyed myself more, if I accepted that a little bit more. A job can be great, it can be rewarding, it can be challenging but perfection wasn’t something that I was likely to find,” Crystal said.
Manage your expectations and open yourself up to your new job. Remember you were hired to help turn issues into profits and help fill the voids that could make efficiencies better. The very thing that concerns you about the new gig can be the very thing you change for the better.
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY INTO BUILDING YOUR STRENGTHS
If you get to a place where you are ready to move on to another opportunity, find ways to get through the day without feeling sad, annoyed and disappointed by your situation. It can be hard, but there are ways to take that negative energy and put it towards something positive. Crystal suggests that you work on a skill that you struggle with at work and become great at it before you leave your job.
“One of the easiest things to do if you are not enjoying your work is to take one area that you are really struggling in and focus everything you can do to make it better. I had a client who didn’t particular know how to use Excel. So every time she had an assignment she wrote down the task and worked on her skills. She became so go at the tasks that her colleagues asked her for help with Excel and it eventually made work more enjoyable for her. Her work became more valuable and she liked that she was being acknowledged for it.”
Before you leave make sure to make your mark on the company. Finding projects to work on will make the time go faster and improve your skill sets until another opportunity. Not only will you start you next job equipped with stronger work strengths, but you will also leave knowing that you contributed to the company in some shape or form.
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REMEMBER THERE IS A PLACE OUT THERE FOR YOU
It may take several attempts, but eventually you will figure out what type of career you want and what type of work environment is suitable for your needs. “There is definitely no such thing as a perfect job. There is a job that can be perfect for you. That can be a really great fit for you and can be enjoyable, but perfect I don’t think so. I think it is a little bit dangerous to even look for a perfect job. I think it leads to a lot of disappointment if you think that a job could possibly be perfect, “ Crystal said.
For some people entrepreneurship is the best place and situation for them to do the work that they love on their own terms. When Crystal worked as a lawyer she felt like she wasn’t using her potential, and it didn’t feel like the right fit for her. “One of my advice that I give my clients is to find work that aligns with who you really are and not just your passion. I made the transition to coaching once I realized this was something that I could do on a full-time basis. It’s been great having my own business. I like the flexibility,” she shared.
Don’t feel disappointed when your “dream job” doesn’t work out. It only means there is something bigger and better that awaits, but until you get there use these steps to avoid the perfect job syndrome.
Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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