The #blackgirlmagic was real at Summit21. Created by women's lifestyle brand 21Ninety, the event brought more than 1,200 Black women together in Atlanta to network and discover ways to elevate their life.
I've been to a few amazing conferences over the years, but Summit21 transformed me in a way that I could never imagine. I laughed, cried, and said "yasssssss" more times than I can count.
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There were so many gems dropped by the speakers, but here are five that stood out most:
1. You can't afford to not take care of yourself.
Author Teyonna Lanez
Self-care was a big focus during Summit21. Each day began with meditation to set the tone for the day.
Celebrity wellness and lifestyle guru, Latham Thomas, shared that self-care includes doing check-ins to see how you're feeling and asking for what you need. Equally important is creating boundaries to protect your space and taking your time so you aren't rushing through life.
For branding mogul Karen Civil, self-care includes meditation and leveraging the power of crystals.
To close out Summit21, the founders of GirlTrek highlighted their goal to inspire one million women to commit to 30 minutes of exercise each day. Through their "Tubman Doctrine," a radical self-care practice for freedom fighters, they encouraged women to channel Harriet Tubman by saving themselves first and finding wellness practices that brings them joy.
Throughout the conference, these ladies and many others emphasized the need to take care of yourself to truly lead an enriched life.
2. Know your why.
"If you stand on your why and learn the lessons you need to know this season, you'll get where you need to be," said author and business executive Sarah Jakes Roberts.
She described how your "why" keeps you grounded. Whether it's for the culture, community, or your family, it's bigger than you and ensures that you stay committed to what's important.
A part of knowing your why is understanding your purpose.
"You can choose your passion but you can't choose your purpose," said actress Ashley Blaine Featherson during her fireside chat with comedian Robin Thede. "If you're living in your purpose, success is inevitable. You can't fail because God created you for it."
3. You are culturally wealthy.
Writer Alex Wolf helped me see the power in being a Black woman in a different way. During her session about capitalizing on your blackness, she showed how the people who make Black culture aren't the same people who make money off of Black culture.
Alex highlighted that as Black women, we are the mother of American culture, and we're sitting on a goldmine just for being ourselves. Her "Issa-Cardi Theory" showed an example of how to capitalize on our cultural wealth. Using Issa Rae and Cardi B as inspiration, Alex says that we can resonate with others by starting where we are, being unapologetically Black, and focusing on being relatable.
"The whole world is in love with our culture, and if you don't own it, someone else will."
4. Getting involved with politics is not an option.
"Our lives are literally on the line," said political strategist Angela Rye during her fireside chat.
She discussed the importance of identifying our top concerns (such as justice, prison reform, or women's rights), so we're prepared to raise our voices during the midterm elections this November.
Natasha Murphy of Black Girls Vote and Dr. Wendy Osefo of 1954 Equity Project echoed Angela during their impact session. Black votes are crucial because blood was paid through our ancestors. We owe it to them and ourselves to get involved with our local, state, and federal government elections.
5. Embrace the growing pains.
Author Teyonna Lanez
Singer Sevyn Streeter talked about how she gets excited when she feels things coming to an end because it signals a new beginning. She mentioned that it's important for us to understand that change doesn't have to be perceived as negative - instead view it as an opportunity to add different things to your toolbelt of life.
"Don't be afraid of transitioning," says Sevyn. "If God is tapping you on the shoulder, telling you to jump, don't be afraid of the water."
Summit21 helped me see my life more clearly and provided me with actionable steps towards making my dreams a reality. If you weren't able to attend, I encourage you to come to this transformative conference next year!
*Featured Image via Sistas In Stem/Instagram
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak