It was the week of my fifth anniversary working for myself as a contracting consultant.
I found myself in a meeting room consulting a CEO and his entire executive team. To consult this caliber of a group was a career first for me and pretty synchronistic for it to occur during my fifth anniversary week.
What I was most blown away by wasn't the titles of these people in the room or the special access I needed to be on the 3rd floor of their headquarters, it was that I was in the same room with people who played at a certain level, at a certain big level. To be a Vice President or the CEO of a global billion-dollar company requires you to embody certain characteristics. And the fact that I was at a place to have a seat at their table meant I was playing at a level that was close enough to theirs. And that's what I was most proud of.
As proud and excited as I was, part of me felt intimidated, like, "Who was I to be in that room?" I don't have an MBA. Sometimes I have to make up what I tell clients because I have no idea what the "right" response is and yet, I was the one chosen to be in that room. Because I belonged there, just as I was. To make things even sweeter, my hourly rate was the highest it's ever been (wins on wins on wins).
As I celebrate these milestones and look back over the last five years of working for myself, there are a few things I've learned about Life, as its our greatest teacher.
Lesson 1: Life always, always has your best interest and highest good at heart.
It may not always feel this way, but Life truly does have your back - all the time.
As a contractor, I never know when my next project will come once the last one ends. Contract consulting is like having to find a new job every 2 - 18 months. And as someone who has a preference for certainty, this can be (and is) terrifying at times because I don't know how long I'll be without a paycheck.
We often fear the unknown, but working for myself has taught me to trust. And not just trust as a whole, but to trust in something bigger than me. Because, in my experience, each time a project has ended, a new and better opportunity has always showed up at just the right time. Not only has it shown up at just the right time, but it usually requires little job hunting on my end. And it's always at a higher hourly rate than the previous project.
Life always catches me and has my back, every single time, without fail.
Lesson 2: The amount of money one makes tends to be in direct proportion to their personal growth.
While I'm blessed that my work usually comes to me with little to no job hunting efforts, I still put in the work, daily. But, the work isn't the kind of work most people think of when it comes to advancing their career.
I rarely network (as an introvert, networking and small talk are my version of hell). I don't actively seek business leads. And I don't send out my resume very often.
The work I do put in is on myself. I work on myself like it's my hobby. From my physical health, to having fulfilling relationships, to improving my relationship with money, to living authentically, and stretching my previous capacities in all aspects of Life. Working on myself isn't a sometimes thing. It's intentional, it's daily, it's a way of being.
Growth and transformation aren't just about trying to become something else. It's also embracing and nourishing who and what we already are.
And as I've made me my favorite hobby, I lived into the version of myself that would land me in the same room with a CEO and his executive team at my highest hourly rate to date.
Lesson 3: Life uses our current circumstances as vehicles for growth.
Often times, we think it's about the job or the relationship or whatever the circumstance may be. But our circumstances are disguised opportunities for our growth.
Everything in Life is a mirror reflecting something back to us. We may or may not like what we see, but it is showing us something. It's what we do with what we see that houses the potential.
Five years ago, I was unexpectedly laid off from my job with a consulting firm. I was devastated and terrified when it happened. But it turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me. Because I chose to see it as an opportunity, I knew that getting laid off was Life's way of helping me move on to better things. And it turned out to be the catalyst that allowed me to work for myself, which had been a dream of mine. Not only did I come out of that working for myself, but I also doubled my income, earning over six figures.
Life has a way of teaching us through our current circumstances. And if we are willing to listen, each circumstance, each moment, each day brings us an opportunity.
Lesson 4: You are worthy and deserving of any seat at any table.
It's not about perfection, it's about growth. Sometimes I feel inadequate. Sometimes I feel that I should be further along in Life. A part of me felt like a fraud being in that meeting room with those executives.
But through the opportunities I've had working for myself, I've learned that wherever I am is because I'm supposed to be there. I can feel insecure and still belong in the same room as a CEO and his executive team. Me, as I am, is worthy of any seat at any table.
In the times when I feel I should be further along or that I shouldn't still be struggling with something, I remind myself of where and what I come from. And from that perspective, I realize I've surpassed every limit my upbringing set me up for. Also from that perspective, I'm able to realize I don't have to be perfect to evolve and grow. I just have to keep evolving and growing.
And Life has its ways of making sure we do just that.
How has your job or business helped you grow? What lessons has it taught you?
As a Business Consultant, Brittney writes to inspire the possibilities in others. She believes what we dream is not only possible, but probable, and the importance of not letting what you come from define you. We often have a sense of what our lives could be, but, sometimes, it takes knowing that it happened for someone else before we actually believe "...wow, that could be me too". Her saviors are yoga, sunshine, audio books, 90s R&B, and flights to distant lands. Connect with her on Facebook and Instagram: @brittney.pappano
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If you’re somewhat familiar with hair masks but you honestly haven’t tried them (yet), take a few moments to read this all the way through. As someone who has high porosity hair and is on her own journey to gain longer locks that are super healthy, I’ve been playing around with hair masks for a minute now — and even though it is an extra step to what can already be quite the wash day sometimes…honestly, I don’t have not one regret.
What Is a Hair Mask?
GiphyOkay, so you know how, oftentimes, when getting a facial, a mask will be incorporated in order to treat certain types of skin issues? Hair masks basically do the same thing — only, they’re specifically made for your tresses and they’re usually for the purpose of deeply penetrating your hair with hydration.
What I’ve come to find is if your hair is particularly dry, you color-treat your hair, you’ve been noticing signs of heat damage, and/or you enjoy wearing your hair in its natural state (and you want your curls to have less frizz so that they can really pop), hair masks can benefit you on a few different levels. That’s because the heavy amount of oils and/or butters in them can help to create some real moisture-related restoration.
What Are the Tips for Getting the Most Out of a Hair Mask?
GiphyIn a moment, I’m going to share with you some hair mask options that are available to you. First, though, let’s talk a bit about how you can receive the most benefits from using a hair mask.
Treat the issue. Not all hair masks are just alike, so although more moisture may be your ultimate goal, if your hair has worn-out ends, seek out a hair mask that treats that. Color-treated? Look for one that is good for that. Frizzing going on? Get a hair mask for that. This is important because, personally, there have been times when I’ve just picked up a popular hair mask that ended up not doing me much good; the reason why is because it was for one thing when I had something entirely different going on with my tresses.
Follow the instructions. If you decide to go with a commercial brand, the instructions are there for a reason. Please make sure to read them and follow them all the way through. Otherwise, your hair may not end up as hydrated, soft, or manageable as you were hoping for.
Not on the scalp; definitely on the ends. A big mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to hair masks is they just scoop up a handful and put it on top of their head. Yeah…naw. You need to make sure that you’ve got enough to coat your freshly washed hair from root to tip; however, keep in mind that hair masks are more for your hair than your scalp. This point is key because many ingredients that are in a lot of hair masks could potentially clog up your hair follicles and/or irritate your scalp, if you massage your scalp with them or leave the product on your scalp for a long period of time.
Cover your hair up. Putting a hair mask on your locks, only to wash it out after five minutes or so, isn’t going to get you the kind of results that you seek. If you’re really going to do this hair mask thing in excellence, be prepared to have your hair wrapped up in a shower cap, warm towel, or steamer for no less than an hour. In fact, some hair masks recommend that you leave them on overnight (although, don’t come to that conclusion on your own; again, read the instructions).
Make it a part of your hair care routine. There is something to be said about the need to “train your hair” in order to get it how you’d like it to be. That’s why it’s important to not just one-and-done your hair when it comes to hair masks. Me? I try to treat my locks to one every other wash day (and I typically wash my hair every two weeks).
How Do You Choose a Hair Mask That Is Best for You?
GiphyNow that you know a bit about how to get the most benefits from a hair mask, you might be wondering which one you should use. Honestly, this could require a bit of trial and error on your part; however, there are articles like Shape’s “14 Hair Masks That Will Give You the Healthiest Strands of Your Life, Vetted and Reviewed” and Glamour’s “The Best Natural Hair Masks, According to the Pros” can potentially point you in the right direction. Another hack would be to go to your favorite search engine and put “hair mask for Black women” in the search field to see some natural hair-specific options.
Okay, but what if you’d prefer to avoid as many chemicals as possible? If that is indeed the case, there are a ton of DIY hair mask options for you to choose from. Below, I’ve included five homemade hair mask options along with some of the reasons why the ingredients in them are such a wise choice.
RECIPE #1
1 Tablespoon of Honey
1 Tablespoon of Avocado
1 Teaspoon of Rosemary Oil
Your hair will adore honey becauseit’s a humectant; this means that it absorbs moisture from the air and pulls it into your skin and hair. Some other selling points about honey are it's rich in antioxidants and antibacterial properties,it deeply conditions your hair and it helps to strengthen your strands over time.
Avocados are rich in fatty acids that also help to cultivate (and retain) moisture in your hair; plus, the vitamins C and E work together to reduce frizz, prevent free radicals from harming your hair, and reduce damage as well. Rosemary oil? It also conditions your hair while increasing blood circulation to your hair follicles which results in faster and stronger hair growth.
RECIPE #2
½ Cup of Cocoa Powder
2 Teaspoons of Coconut Cream
1 Teaspoon of Coconut Oil
If it sounds crazy to you to put cocoa powder in your hair, you might want to read “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe.” The reality is there are nutrients in cocoa (like iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and copper) that can help to strengthen your hair and add shine and volume to it as well.
The high amounts of lauric acid and protein in coconut cream (or milk) can help to reduce hair loss and dandruff as it deeply moisturizes your hair for longer periods of time. Coconut oil is similar to coconut milk/cream, the only bonus is it can help to protect your hair’s cuticles (which can reduce breakage) too.
RECIPE #3
2 Tablespoons of Sweet Almond Oil
1 Teaspoon of Cinnamon
5 Drops of Peppermint Oil
I’ve been using sweet almond oil on my skin for quite some time now. Hair-wise, I dibble and dabble in it with no regrets because the oil has the ability to deeply moisturize my hair and also prevent split ends, thanks to the high concentration of Vitamin E that it contains. Cinnamon can help you out because it has properties that can help with hair growth; some research even says that this spice could help you end up with thicker hair.
Peppermint oil is always going to be a winner because it can potentially help to reduce hair loss, it increases blood circulation and oxygen flow to your hair follicles and it contains antimicrobials that reduce dandruff and dryness as well.
RECIPE #4
½ Cup of Aloe Vera Gel
1 Tablespoon of Olive Oil
5 Drops of Tea Tree Oil
Being that Aloe vera is made up of almost 99 percent water (no joke), that should already give you enough insight into why it’s a stellar conditioner for your hair. Beyond that, though, Aloe vera is a great hair mask ingredient because it has vitamins A, B12, C, and E that can help to strengthen your hair and properties that can help to improve your hair’s texture.
Olive oil is a great treatment for overly processed hair or if you want to prevent split ends. Tea tree oil is wonderful when it comes to removing product build-up.
RECIPE #5
1 Banana
1 Egg
2 Teaspoons of Plain Greek Yogurt
If any of these recipes is a throwback classic, it would have to be this one; that’s because it’s common for bananas, eggs, and yogurt to go into homemade hair masks. A cool thing about bananas is they contain something known as silica; it’s a chemical compound that reduces frizz. There are also antioxidants in bananas that help to decrease oxidative stress (which can lead to hair damage) and bananas can deeply condition your hair too.
Eggs? Eggs are loaded with protein (which your hair is made mostly of) which means that they can strengthen your hair as well as decrease dryness. Greek yogurt can also give your hair a protein boost as it also strengthens your hair follicles and softens your strands.
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I promise you that, no matter how many articles you read on how to have a head full of thriving hair, especially when it comes to us, maintaining moisture is going to be mentioned. Now that you know that hair masks are top-tier at doing this for you…seems like this needs to be on your next wash-day agenda…right? For real, though.
It’s worth the time and effort. Trust me.
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