

Sex fascinates me. I make absolutely no apologies for that fact. We got here because of sex. I'm a marriage life coach and sex is a big—HUGE—part of a marital union.
And, although I sometimes feel like the Church could stand to be reminded of this on the regular, sex is all up in the Bible—"be naked and not ashamed" (Genesis 2:24-25); "drink out of your own cistern" (look up what cistern means sometime—Proverbs 5:15); "Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise" (cue the song "Secret Garden" right here, y'all—Song of Solomon 4:8-15—Message); "do not withhold from your spouse" (I Corinthians 7:5) and, one of my personal favorites "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact" (I Corinthians 6:16—Message)—these are all Scriptural references regarding copulation.
Due to all of this, if someone were to ask me what one of my passions were, sex—including sex education—would definitely top the list. And since I can't be good at educating anyone unless I study up on it myself, I try to spend at least a few hours a week seeing what's going on in the world of sex.
What do I have for you today, ladies (and gents who also enjoy the site) are some random and even semi-strange facts about sex. Some will make you laugh. Some will evoke a lift of the brow. Hopefully all will make you think—and then test a few of 'em out.
Ready? Sex ed class is officially in session, y'all.
Eating Apples Can Improve Your Orgasms
Some of you might've read this and thought, "Duh. It was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, after all." Yeeeah. I'm not quite sure where we got that from because Scripture doesn't say that (Genesis 3). But what research has revealed is women who consume more than one apple a day do not only increase in lubrication but are able to have more (including more intense) orgasms. Eat up!
Sex Is a Great Cure for the Common Cold
Gargling apple cider vinegar can reduce the duration of a cold. So can having sex. What they both have in common is they help to strengthen your immune system. When it comes to sex specifically, if your partner has the sniffles and you're afraid of getting it on with them, kissing is what will give it do you; sex won't. That's because colds (nor influenza) aren't transmitted via sperm or vaginal fluid.
Oral Sex Lengthens a Man’s Penis
I've penned an article on the site before about just how beneficial consuming sperm is (check that out here). Here's another oral sex gem. When it comes to penises, even though most of our nerve endings are in the first 1-2 inches of our vaginal opening (so no, technically size doesn't matter as much as a lot of us think), if you wish your man was packin' more than he is, fellatio can help him out. Although researchers are still trying to figure out the connection, one study reveals that a man getting oral sex ultimately lengthens his penis size. Hmph.
If You Use Emojis, You Tend to Have More Sex
The next time you send a winky face, some praying hands or, eh hem, an eggplant and whoever you text makes fun of you on using emojis instead of words, school 'em on what it really means. Believe it or not, a few years ago, TIME magazine published an article with this title—"People Who Use Emojis Have More Sex". Yep. You read that right. It even goes so far as to say that women who use kiss emojis have an easier time having an orgasm. Emoji away!
Sex Improves Women’s Memory
Got a test coming up? Something you can do to increase your chances of passing it is to get some the night before. Yep. What one study has revealed is direct penile-vaginal intercourse can significantly increase your memory and verbal recognition. Pretty cool, huh?
The Love of Music Will Help You to Have More Sex
If you love all things music, here's a good reason to listen to it more often. No matter how crazy or random this might seem, it would appear that people who listen to music out loud have sex 67 percent more than individuals who don't. By the way, if you're wondering what genre of music mentions the word "sex" the most, it's hip-hop and then pop with R&B holding (surprisingly) fifth place.
Weekly Sex Will Regulate Your Menstrual Cycle
Is your menstrual cycle all over the place? Something that just might help to regulate it is having sex on a weekly basis. The reason why is because the luteinizing hormone in your system is what helps to keep your period coming on the same day (give or take a couple of day), every month. When you have sex, it helps to balance this hormone out.
Sex Is About as Effective as Aspirin
One time, a husband told me that whenever he wants to have sex and his wife claims to have a headache, he tells her that his penis will do more for her than an aspirin ever will. Turns out that there's some truth to that. How sex works is, whenever you do it, it triggers endorphins into your system which soothes your nervous system and relieves your headache (even your migraines). Hey, don't knock it until you try it!
Women Are More Attractive During Ovulation
Procreation isn't the sole purpose for having sex (not by a long shot), but we all know that sex makes babies. That's why it comes as no shocker to me that women are more attractive to men during their time of ovulation just like women are hornier during that time of the month too. I'm pretty sure this all works hand in hand, actually.
A Top Three Favorite Sex Toy Among Women Is a Candle
Although I like to backlink sources as much as possible, because the sites connected to this random fact are NSFW, you'll just have to take my word for it (or Google it yourself when you get home). Anyway, something else I happened upon is next to vibrators and sex toys, what women enjoy masturbating with most are candles. Unlit ones, of course.
Cold Feet Can Hinder Climaxing
Personally, I hate sleeping—or sexing—with socks on. One reason is because I don't like being hot. Another reason is because I read somewhere that folks who keep socks on during sex have deep-rooted intimacy issues. However, what studies reveal is folks who keep their socks on when they have sex are able to have more orgasms than those who don't. Experts claim it's because it's easier to climax when our feet are warm.
Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont Have the Kinkiest Sex Sessions
Take it for what it's worth, y'all but the states where people have the kinkiest sex are not New York or even California; it's Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont. Maybe because there's not much to do there? If you live there, you tell me (LOL). As far as the places that have the longest sex sessions, that award goes to New Mexico, West Virginia and Idaho. The minute-man states are Vermont, South Dakota and Alaska.
Did you peep how two of the kinkiest states have the shortest sex sessions. Maybe kinky is connected to quickies.
Men with Belly Fat Last Longer
If you've been pressuring your man to get a six-pack, you might wanna pull back on that a bit. The truth of the matter is that men who have a bit of a belly bulge are able to last longer in bed than men who are constantly in the gym all of the time. According to an article I read, oftentimes as much as three times longer. Wow.
Fun fact: If you put on a combination of pumpkin and lavender essential oils, it can increase the blood flow that rushes to your man's penis by as much as 40 percent. (You're welcome.)
Female Night Owls Have Higher Sex Drives
If you're a night owl, you're probably having more sex than earlier risers. You might think it's because most people have sex at night out of convenience, but that's not actually the reason. The scientific reason is the longer a woman stays up, the more that the stress hormone cortisol will increase in her system. Cortisol is directly-connected to arousal and taking risks. Although, to be perfectly fair regarding the study, female night owls also tend to have a harder time getting into and maintaining the relationship. (Don't shoot the messenger!)
There Is No FDA-Approved Condom for Anal Sex
Last but not least, y'all. Last summer, our managing editor penned a beginner's guide to anal sex. Since 21 percent of women between the ages of 25-29 and 22 percent of women between the ages of 30-39, it's a relevant topic. At the same time, I do think it should go on record that there is currently no condom for anal sex that's been FDA-approved. This means, there is no condom that they are willing to, pardon the pun, back up. That's pretty serious when you actually think about what a condom is designed to do (protect you from transmitting and receiving STDs). The more you know, sis. The more you know.
Featured image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Celebrity Engagements Of 2025: All The Stars Who Locked It Down This Year (So Far!)
February might be in the rearview, but love is most definitely still in the air as the gworls are getting wifed up left and right. We love love over here at xoNecole, and 2025 is already shaping up to be a year full of celebrity engagements. Zendaya had the innanet in a chokehold when she kicked off award season flashing a stunning rock on her ring finger, and more recently, Normani announced her engagement to long-time partner DK Metcalf.
As more of our faves take that next step to saying "I do," keep reading for all the couples who got engaged in 2025. Stay tuned!
Every Celebrity Engagement of 2025 (So Far)
Normani and DK Metcalf
“Hold that rock up, baby!” That’s how DK Metcalf casually dropped the news of his engagement to singer Normani while speaking during a press conference that followed the announcement of his trade from the Seattle Seahawks to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a five-year, $150 million contract. And just like that, we all wanted in the group chat.
But before this love story led to a ring, it had to have its start. And for that, we can thank Ciara and Russell Wilson. The couple's mutual friends played matchmakers for Normani, 28, and DK, 27, bringing them together at a party for Ciara’s rum brand after DK had already manifested their love years earlier. “Me and Ciara are really close, and Russell and DK were teammates on the Seattle Seahawks,” Normani shared with Vogue.
“About two years prior to us even meeting, they were playing music videos in the locker room, and ‘Motivation’ ended up popping up on the screen. DK said, ‘The moment I saw you come up on that screen, I said, ‘That's going to be my wife.’’” At the time, Normani was in a relationship, but two years later, Ciara made sure the stars aligned. “I ended up going [to the party], and lo and behold, he ended up being there, and the rest is history.”
As for the actual proposal, DK had been planning it for over a year—initially hoping to pop the question during a family trip to Turks & Caicos. But with Normani focused on her album at the time, he decided to wait for the perfect moment. That moment came on March 12 during another family trip, this time to Houston, where he surprised her with an intimate proposal surrounded by their loved ones. To say that Normani was shocked is an understatement. “I was like, ‘Baby, you knew for over a year?’” she recalled to the publication. “To get anything past me for over a year is crazy!”
Swooning!
Winnie Harlow and Kyle Kuzma
There might be something in the water in Turks & Caicos because while DK Metcalf had dreams of proposing to Normani there, Kyle Kuzma made it happen for Winnie Harlow this past Valentine's Day. The NBA star popped the question to his longtime love in the same place they took their first baecation back in 2022, a trip that, according to Kyle, cemented his plan to propose to the fashion model one day.
The Milwaukee Bucks player went all out for the occasion, chartering a private jet decked out with roses, balloons, chocolates, and champagne, all of which Winnie assumed was just an elaborate Valentine’s Day surprise. But the real moment came when Kyle, 29, read Winnie, 30, a heartfelt poem he had written, which ended with the words, “Will you be my wife?” The 8.5-carat oval-cut engagement ring that accompanied it sealed the deal.
The couple celebrated with a dreamy beachfront dinner, fireworks lighting up the sky as Winnie held up her ring in disbelief. She later shared the news with her fans on Instagram in a post, writing “To eternity” alongside a carousel of photos capturing the magical moment.
Amber "AD" Smith and Ollie Sutherland
If you know the Love Is Blind lore, this engagement announcement is going to hit a little different. After all, AD Smith and Ollie Sutherland both made it to the altar in their respective seasons, but not with each other. Now, in a full-circle plot twist for the ages, the two reality stars found love off-screen, and they just made it official.
During the recent Love Is Blind reunion special, AD and Ollie dropped the bombshell news that they’re engaged! The couple met while filming the upcoming season of Netflix's Perfect Match, but while we don’t know all the ins and outs of how their love story began (yet!), we do know where they are now. The pair opened up more about their engagement on AD’s podcast, What’s the Reality?, while Ollie took to Instagram to hard launch their love with a collab post captioned, “THIS is how you do a hard launch! 💍 #TheSutherlands.”
After everything they’ve been through in their respective Love Is Blind journeys, AD and Ollie are proof that sometimes, love finds you when and where you least expect it. And we’re always here for a second chance at true love.
Paige Hurd and Royce O' Neal
Paige Hurd is engaged, y'all! The actress, known most recently for her work in Power Book II: Ghost, and Phoenix Suns forward Royce O’Neale are officially tying the knot following a romantic proposal in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Their love story feels like something straight out of a rom-com. Paige, 32, had just sworn off dating, fully focused on her faith and personal growth—then, boom, in walks Royce, 31, to change everything. “Nice as can be,” she recalled in a PEOPLE exclusive, though she initially only saw him as a friend. But Royce? He had a very different vision of who he saw her as in his life. “She was my lifelong crush,” he admitted. “A couple years ago, I told my friends, ‘One day I’ll meet her, date her, and marry her.’ Of course, they thought I was joking, but I was serious.”
Fast forward to February 13, and that longtime manifestation became reality. During an intimate oceanfront dinner at the Viceroy Riviera Maya, surrounded by candlelight and rose petals, Paige was served a slice of red velvet cake with “Will you marry me?” written on the plate. And their journey to a lifetime is only beginning.
From childhood crush to future husband, Royce spoke this love into existence. And with Paige calling him “the most thoughtful, down-to-earth, gentle man I’ve ever known,” it’s clear this is a love story written in the stars.
Jilly Anais and DeShaun Watson
Jilly Anais and her longtime love DeShaun Watson are officially engaged! The Cleveland Browns quarterback popped the question to the singer/content creator with the help of a gorgeous beachside backdrop. On March 16, the couple announced the news in a collab Instagram post, where Jilly beamed ear to ear while showing off her massive diamond ring. “Mrs. Watson loading…” she captioned the post, sending friends, fans, and NFL teammates into a frenzy.
Their love story first began in 2019 when Watson slid into Jilly’s IG DMs, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. From celebrating career wins to house-hunting together on Selling Sunset, these two have been building a life together—and now, wedding bells are otw.
Kyle Massey and Hana Giraldo
From Disney Channel star to fiancé, Kyle Massey is officially an engaged man! The That’s So Raven and Cory in the House alum popped the question to his longtime love, Hana Giraldo, daughter of rock legend Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo.
Hana announced the big news on Instagram, writing, “IM ENGAGED 💍 to my best friend, my soulmate, and my forever @kylemassey. A lifetime of love, laughter, and adventure begins now! I love you so much Xo.” The couple, who have been together for years, couldn’t be happier to step into this next chapter together. “I'm marrying my best friend, this is a dream come true,” Hana shared.
DeVon Franklin and Maria Castillo
DeVon Franklin and celebrity trainer Maria Castillo are engaged! The preacher and producer proposed during a romantic getaway in Maui on December 27, 2024, but the couple kept their engagement under wraps until February 2025 (which is why they are on this list), when they shared the news exclusively with PEOPLE.
DeVon, 46, gave them the deets of how he pulled off the ultimate surprise. As they posed on a grassy cliff for what she thought was a regular photo shoot, DeVon turned to Maria, 29, and told his bride-to-be, “You know, this whole time has really been an engagement photo shoot.” Shocked, Maria dropped to the ground before DeVon got down on one knee to pop the big question. “Finding Maria has been one of God’s greatest blessings in my life, so I wanted the proposal to be as special as our love,” DeVon told PEOPLE. “It was truly a magical moment, and I can’t wait to spend a magical life with Maria!”
The couple, who were introduced by a mutual friend last year, have been inseparable ever since. “To know I’ll be spending the rest of my life with this incredible man is a dream come true,” Maria shared with the outlet.
Zendaya and Tom Holland
This wouldn’t be a list of celebrity engagements of 2025 without the engagement announcement that kicked it all off: Zendaya and Tom Holland! The pair sparked loads of speculation after Zendaya blinded us with a stunning diamond ring at the Golden Globes in January 2025. And while the notoriously private couple has yet to publicly address the news, multiple reports have confirmed that they are, in fact, officially engaged.
Adding to the confirmation, PEOPLE recently reported that Tom’s Spider-Man co-star Jacob Batalon—who also got engaged this year—set the record straight about their proposal timelines. According to the publication, sources confirmed that Tom and Zendaya were engaged as of January 6, but Jacob argues that he had his proposal plans set in motion before Tom. “No, we did not know about each other's plans like that,” he told Metro Entertainment. “But I will say I thought about it first.”
Zendaya and Tom have always kept their love story low-key, so an official announcement might never come. But between the ring, the reports, and their inner circle spilling deets, it looks like they are locking it down on their own terms.
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Featured image by Normani/Instagram