

Cue "Good As Hell" by Lizzo. "I do my hair toss, / Check my nails, / Baby, how you feeling?"
Me: A little discouraged.
I know, as the first month of the year comes to an end, you — and most people have given up on annual commitments to yourselves. This would be a surprise if Strava, a social network for athletes, hadn't released research that showed many give up on their New Year's resolutions before the third week of the month has even kicked in.
Meaning, before February has even begun, you and others alike have given up on the "new year, new me" tradition and have settled with remaining who you were last year.
Which is fine.
But only if you're where you want to be.
Otherwise, I'm sure you feel like you have let yourself down before the year has even truly begun.
With heads filled with so much noise, so many tasks, errands, deadlines, emails, and appointments that are made and forgotten, life this 2019 can feel a little hectic; and adding resolutions onto it can feel downright overwhelming. Nevertheless, it is when the going gets tough, the tough finally gets going.
And you, my friend, are tough. You just need a little push is all. Some words of encouragement, if you will.
And that's where I come in.
Here are 15 positive affirmations to ensure that you are keeping your new year commitment to be a brighter, happier, more fulfilled version of yourself. With these affirmations, you can start to reclaim the time taken and start putting it towards becoming the "new you" you've always dreamed of.
1.I Am Enough.
Say it with me: I am enough. I am enough. I am enough.
Say it ten times. Say it a million.
Say it until the words wash away the doubt that taints your tongue. Because the truth is, out of the seven billion people of this world, nobody is better or more gifted than you.
You are capable of remarkable things and you are enough to brighten anyone's day. You are destined to leave a mark on this world.
So, let it be the biggest mark you can possibly create. Go ahead, look in that mirror and say "I am enough." Shout it to the high heavens if you must, because you, darling, are just that: you are enough.
2.I Am Worthy of Love, Happiness, and Fulfillment
Like I said before, shout it to the high heavens, if you must. You were born worthy of love, happiness, and fulfillment, sadly, somewhere along the way, life made you think you weren't. But I'm here to let you know that you are. How do I know? Well, because you're you.
3.I Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Some people take life's small slights and setbacks with a shrug, while others freak out, blow up, or fly off the proverbial handle in a loud huff or with silent seething. If you're the latter, it's time to stop sweating the small stuff and let it roll off your back. You already have enough to carry. Instead of growing upset when there is a setback, consider every irritating incident as a chance to work out the reasoning area of your brain. Soon, you'll realize that what constitutes a stressor is subjective and that little setbacks will ruin your day if you let them.
Remember, you've only had a bad moment. Not a bad day. And if you've had a bad day, that doesn't mean you've had a bad life. Go ahead, sweat, it's only natural. But let the small stuff worry about itself. You have better things to do.
4.The Tools I Need to Succeed Are in My Possession
No one is going to appear with the tools you need to succeed in the life that you want. That is up to you. Whether you have to find the tools, buy the tools, or make them yourself, they are accessible, they are limitless, and they are there for the taking. If you want them in your possession, all you have to do is reach out.
5.My Strength Is Greater Than Any Struggle
Say it with me: "My strength is greater than my struggle. I'm fearless. I'm getting stronger every day. I can do this. I'm deserving of my dream. I was not made to give up. Broken bridges cannot stop me."
So, it said, and so it shall be.
6.Happiness is my Birthright. I Embrace Happiness as My Setpoint State of Being
You were born with a natural tendency to bounce back to a happy and joyous state in no time at all. However, as you started 'growing up', perhaps you began losing touch with your natural state of happiness; instead you faked a hybrid portrayal of happiness with the hope of rediscovering that natural happiness eventually.
It's possible that you kept finding ways and means to be happy through material gain, pleasurable stimuli, through social means and relationships. However, not always do external inputs created a lasting state of joy and happiness. When you searched for happiness in the world outside, you forgot that the world that you saw outside of you, was actually mirroring you. When you were in a happier state, you could manifest a happier world around you.
Embrace happiness as your setpoint state of being and accept nothing else, you'll see how quickly your world will shift.
7.I Complete Me. I Am Whole.
Don't worry. You'll find the person that completes you someday.
We hear it so often lately that it's ridiculous.
Which implies that I'm not already whole and need someone else to complete me. That's an issue because it creates the idea that people aren't whole on their own, and it makes people feel broken when they can't find someone they want to be with. There's no problem with people wanting to find the person they want to be with, but when it becomes a quest to be "complete," it's an issue. No one deserves to think they aren't complete on their own. You are. You don't need to search for the piece you think you're missing in the world. You already have it within yourself.
8.I Embrace Change and Acknowledge It as A Gift
Because change is inevitable, it's about time we stop fighting against it. "The only thing constant is change." We know this and we understand that our environment can't stay the same forever. All around us, there is change happening on a daily basis. We are forever growing, expanding, aging, and changing. So, what is it about the world that can seem so overbearing and scary when change happens? Why is it that many of us are instantly repelled by the thought of change?
If we could only learn to let change work for us and benefit us, we could be happier with our lives and the process of growth. Embracing change is key to your success and happiness. So instead of fighting change, acknowledge it as a gift.
9.I Am the Author of My Story. How It Ends Is Up to Me.
Take more agency over your life. Stop letting things happen to you and start taking control of the things that do. How your live ends is up to you. So, decide to make it everything you've want it to be. You're the author of your own story, it is never too late to change the ending.
10. I Release My Attachment to Everything that No Longer Serves Me. I Refuse to Let Anything or Anyone Hold Me Back.
Imagine life without holding onto negative attachments. Imagine a state of peaceful thoughts, which come and go like the ocean tides — without struggle, pain, or resistance. Letting go of attachments can be a difficult thing. You are so used to carrying them around that you're worried what you might feel like once you've let everything go.
Regardless, the truth is: these negative attachments that you're holding onto no longer serve you. And you holding onto them is like trying to swim with an anchor attached to your wrist. Let it go. It might be hard to, but still, let it go. You'll be surprised at what you can find on the surface when you do.
11. I Am Not the Mistakes I’ve Made, and the Mistakes I’ve Made Will Not Be the End of Me
Mistakes are inevitable; and despite knowing this, many spend their time dwelling on them.
Nevertheless, I am going to let you in on a secret, one that many fail to notice: mistakes are proof that you tried. They are lessons that you can learn from. They are important for success. They are in the past and immutable. Holding onto past mistakes can hold you back in life, hurt your present, and ruin your future. Let go of the mistakes you've made so that you can be free. No matter how hard you try, you don't have the power to change it.
No one can change the past, the only thing you can do is accept it, learn from it, and move on.
12. My Future Is My Own
Your future is simply that, your own. So, make it a damn good one filled with everything you want, need, and dream of.
13. I Am Evolving
And no, you cannot switch the word "evolving" to say I am changing. The word "change" implies that there is something wrong with the person you are right now, which simply is not true. In addition, using the word "change" makes you become passive in your active mission of bettering your life and shifting negative thoughts. Change is inevitable. It will always happen to the best—and worst of us, regardless if we are actively participating in our lives.
But, evolving only happens to those who work for it. Evolving only happens to those who choose to develop gradually, evolving only happens to those who choose to make progress, move forward, and make waves. You are evolving, because simply changing is out of the question.
14. I Love Myself Unconditionally
Even in your best forms and even on your worst days: love yourself. Unconditionally. Without limitations, without restrictions. Be kind to yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself, with everything you've got.
15. I Have Positive, Healthy, and Support Relationships with My Loved Ones
Reminding ourselves that we wish to have healthy and supportive relationships in our lives can remind us to treat others with kindness, compassion, and respect. It can also empower us to stand up for ourselves by creating healthy boundaries in our relationships.
Now that you have these positive affirmations, power to transform your life rests in your hands. I know you'll use it well.
Alexa, play Lizzo.
I do my hair toss,Check my nails,
Baby, how you feelin'?
Feeling good as hell.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images