

If someone were to ask me about the part of my body that I have neglected the most over the years, I would probably have to say that it was my scalp. Hell, with the amount of permanent hair dyeing and texturizing that I used to do once upon a time, that would be enough “scalp abuse” to prove my point.
I know this to be the case because once I stopped applying harsh chemicals to my hair (which includes my scalp), I went through about a year-and-a-half of scalp flaking that was totally out of control. A hairstylist told me it was my scalp actually recovering from all of the trauma that I had sent it through. Then, when I started scalp detoxing (check out “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”) — that’s when I knew that I had to get better about taking care of the foundation of my hair: my scalp.
If that’s something that you’d like to get better at doing as well, I will share with you some of the things that I’ve been intentional about doing that have done a world of good as far as scalp maintenance is concerned. If you do these things consistently, whether you deal with dry scalp, dandruff or you simply want to see your hair thrive more, I can almost guarantee that you will see a noticeable improvement in a matter of a couple of months.
1. Eat More Antioxidants
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Whenever you hear someone talk about the importance of having antioxidants in your system, it’s probably in the context of relying on them to boost your immune system. However, there are several reasons why they’re also really good for your scalp and hair as well. Antioxidants help to fight off free radicals, boost blood circulation to your scalp, protect your hair and scalp from UV damage, reduce hair shedding, promote healthy hair growth, and even make your hair appear fuller.
Foods that are full of antioxidants include citrus fruit, berries, spinach, broccoli, carrots, kale, cabbage, sweet potatoes, onions, and cinnamon…so, the next time you’re at the grocery store, do your scalp a solid and pick up a few of ‘em.
2. Up Your Vitamin B12 Intake
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As I’ve gotten older, something that I’ve been intentional about doing is taking a vitamin B12 supplement. Holistically, it’s a nutrient that’s beneficial because it helps to preserve the health of blood and nerve cells. Also, vitamin B12 is good for you because it can reduce depression-related symptoms and give you more energy.
Your scalp and hair will enjoy you getting more B12 into your body because there is a direct connection between having a vitamin B12 deficiency and experiencing hair loss. Since it also has been known to soothe eczema-related symptoms (and scalp eczema is indeed a thing; it’s usually called seborrhoeic dermatitis) — that’s all the more reason to take a supplement yourself and/or eat more B12-enriched foods like eggs, salmon, yogurt, turkey and mushrooms.
3. Try All-Natural Shampoo Bars
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Something that I’ve been shampooing my hair with, for a few years now, is shampoo bars. They tend to have more natural ingredients in them. They are gentler on my hair. They last longer than the kind of shampoo that comes in a bottle. They take up less space. They also seem to keep more moisture in my hair, which is always a major perk. And since so many of them do not have the same kind of harsh ingredients that many commercial brand shampoos have, this means that your scalp doesn’t have to stress out on wash day.
If you’ve never gone this cleansing route, my two cents would be to do some online window shopping on Etsy. If you go to the site and put “Black-owned shampoo bars” in the search field, you’ll be amazed by how many all-natural ones you will have to choose from.
4. Do an Herbal Scalp Rinse
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If you’re looking for a quick and inexpensive way to pamper your scalp and hair, how about an herbal rinse? It’s probably the most effective way to get the herbs that come from teas into your hair. For instance, nettle tea is great for treating hair breakage, ginseng tea strengthens hair, green tea stimulates hair growth, gooseberry tea fights off free radicals, and lavender tea is great at promoting a healthy scalp. Based on whatever your scalp and hair needs at the time, you can apply one tea or create a combination.
My advice would be to get some loose-leaf teas, steep them for like 30 minutes, allow them to cool and sit for a couple of days in mason jars (don’t pour the tea into the jars until after the tea has become lukewarm in temperature) and then rinse your hair with it after shampooing and conditioning it. Let the mixture sit on your hair for 10 minutes, and rinse with cool water. You can find some more info on herbal rinses here. Etsy is also a place where you can find just about any loose-leaf herb that you can think of. Again, go to the site, put “loose-leaf herbs” in the search field, and be prepared for your mind to be blown.
5. Wash with Lukewarm or Cool Water Only
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Very few things feel better than hot water running from the scalp to the feet while taking a shower. Problem is, hot water can be very drying to your skin, and your scalp is no exception — and a dehydrated scalp can cause all types of issues in the long run. That’s why it really is best to wash your scalp and hair in lukewarm water and then rinse it in cool or cold water. Cooler temperatures will keep the natural sebum that’s on your scalp in balance, add moisture, reduce dandruff, increase blood circulation, and add shine to your hair strands from your roots to your ends.
6. Make a DIY Tea Tree Oil Serum
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If dandruff is something that you struggle with or you simply have moments when your scalp is itchy, and it’s irritating the entire crap outta you, try some tea tree oil. Its super potent antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, antiviral, and antifungal properties make it great for treating acne and dermatitis, and it is a powerful ingredient in all-natural deodorant and mouthwash, too. Because tea tree oil is so good at treating fungal issues, that’s why it can reduce dandruff irritation and flaking.
What I personally like so much about it is that, even though this oil will help to get rid of inflammation, itching, and fungus-related drama, it doesn’t dry out my scalp in the process. In fact, it actually helps to moisturize it; just make sure that you add a carrier oil to it because, again, it’s potent and nothing to play with.
7. Create a Scalp Scrub Too
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Okay. Sit and think about how many hair products you use in just a week’s worth of time. Then, think about how much sweat probably transpires as well. Those two things alone should make you want to scrub your scalp on wash day, right?
Something that’s awesome about applying this particular tip is scalp scrubs are a wonderful way to exfoliate your scalp, remove product build-up, unclog your scalp’s pores/hair follicles, soothe an itchy scalp, and get rid of any dandruff flakes that you may have.
There are plenty of scalp scrubs on the market that you can use (like the ones thatInStyle provided here and Byrdie offered up here). Personally, I like to make my own. A homemade scrub that I can cosign on is featured right here. Also, if you want to learn more about scalp scrubs and why they are super beneficial overall, check out the YouTube video on Curly Chemistry’s channel here; she breaks it all the way down.
8. Massage with Peppermint Oil
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Did you know that if you have a headache or any type of muscle or joint discomfort, applying some peppermint oil can bring about some much-needed relief? Not only that, but it’s the kind of oil that’s good for treating coughs, shortening the lifespan of colds, and reducing stress (via aromatherapy). Your scalp could definitely benefit from a peppermint oil massage because the menthol that’s in it helps to increase blood circulation to your scalp so that your hair follicles are able to receive more of the nutrients that they need.
Also, if you happen to be like me and you struggle with a dry and itchy scalp from time to time, peppermint oil can moisturize and soothe itchiness simultaneously.
9. Use Grapeseed Oil for Oily Scalp and Jamaican Black Castor Oil for a Dry or Itchy Scalp
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The people who say that you shouldn’t oil your hair or scalp? Yeah, I totally ignore them. Scalp is still skin, and if the skin on the rest of my body needs moisture, why wouldn’t my scalp require it, too? The key is to use the kind of oils that will benefit your scalp the most. For instance, if your scalp is naturally oily, grapeseed oil is a lighter oil that’s full of vitamin E that will moisturize without weighing your hair down. Another benefit is it helps to fight frizz; plus, it’s a great complement if your hair happens to be on the finer/thinner side.
On the other hand, if your scalp is dry (and/or your hair is thick), the omega-6 and omega-9 fatty acids that are found in Jamaican black castor oil can do wonders when it comes to deeply nourishing your scalp, increasing blood circulation to it and strengthening your hair while reducing breakage on a pretty significant level. Yeah, your scalp and hair oil can definitely go hand in hand — the type of oil and not going overboard with the amount are the keys to making oil work in your favor.
10. Read Product Labels
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You’ve probably heard somewhere that 60 percent of what you put onto your skin can be absorbed into your bloodstream. While many health and skin professionals agree that it’s a conclusion that is an exaggeration, what is irrefutable is your skin does take in some amount of what you put onto it — I mean, you do have pores, after all. So, for the sake of your scalp, your hair, and your health overall, put in a bit of time to check out the labels of the hair products that you’re considering before purchasing them. Sulfates and alcohol will dry out your hair and scalp.
Parabens have been linked to cancer (because they mimic estrogen). Synthetic fragrances can irritate your scalp. Phthalates, which oftentimes create the fragrance in products, can increase your risk of heart disease. Yeah, it might take a couple of more minutes to read the fine print on hair care bottles — oh, but think about the good you’ll be doing, from head to toe, if you do. Especially as far as your scalp’s health and well-being is concerned. And isn’t it deserving? Indeed.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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