One of my favorite scenes from the (wow) 30-year-old rom-comWhen Harry Met Sally is when Sally's female BFF goes on and on about how her married lover isn't going to end his marriage. Every time Sally's friend Marie says, "I don't think he's ever going to leave her," and Sally replies with, "Of course he isn't," Marie immediately says, "You're right. I know you're right." And then stays anyway. For years. Fascinatingly enough, it wasn't until Marie let ole' boy go that she ended up with Harry's male BFF. It wasn't until she got out of her own way that what she truly desired manifested in her life—real love from a man who actually wanted to be her husband.
I've been there. Not when it comes to a married man (thank goodness!), but I've definitely remained in a relationship or situationship for way too long (see "What If You Love Someone You Can't Have?"). Hmph. Come to think of it, I've stayed on jobs, in "friendships" and even hung on to philosophies that, as Walt Whitman once put it, insults my own soul. And you know what? What I've come to recognize and accept is life is hard enough without my choosing to put up obstacles in my own life path. Life has enough turns, twists and plot twists that I don't need to be out here standing in my own way.
If that immediately garnered a deep and heartfelt "hallelujah" in your own spirit, but you're not quite sure if you're standing in your own way or not, here are 10 very telling signs that that is exactly what you are doing. The good news is there's no time like the present to…move.
1. You’re a Chronic Overthinker
If you put the word "overthinker" into your favorite search engine, you'll be hard-pressed to find any articles that say that it's a good thing to be. I actually read an article about it that had this title—"Are You an Overthinker? You've Been Poisoned". Personally, I think the biggest issues that come from overthinking is one, you end up creating dramas that don't even exist and two, you end up wasting a colossal amount of time in the process. Since when has being a drama queen (even if it's just in your own head) and not seizing the moments as they come ever worked (well) in anyone's favor?
Overthinking makes life so much harder than it ever has to be. That's why it tops my personal list of the main things that stands in our own way.
2. Self-Love Is Not a Daily Top Priority
There's a woman on YouTube who goes by the name Tonya TKO who calls herself a "self-love specialist". I like that term/title because I think it is something that all of us should aspire to be. And how can you know that you are not only loving yourself but loving yourself well? You pamper yourself. You know your purpose and you thrive in it. You trust yourself. You surround yourself with safe people (if you don't own Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't, get it ASAP. You will not regret it!). Your looks are not more important to you than your character. You have no problem removing any person, place, thing or idea that does you harm. You are self-compassionate. You are also self-forgiving. You're humble. You're authentic. You like peace and tranquility. You know how to rest. You live in the moment. You know how to celebrate yourself and others. You are constantly on the quest to learn how to love yourself better.
A lot of people who aren't able to make real progress, whether it be their personal or professional life, oftentimes are stagnant because they may have the right amount of education and resources; however, because they don't truly and fully love themselves, they don't believe in themselves enough to be bold enough to make a real impact. It's a real shame too because self-love is what can help them to do just that.
3. You Spend More Time in Other Folks' Business Than Your Own
There's a verse in the Bible that says, "…that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you." (I Thessalonians 4:11—NKJV). For the record, "minding your own business" isn't just about limiting the gossip that you read, the advice (especially if it's unsolicited) that you give or taking social media breaks from time to time (because social media will have you out here thinking that you've got the right to be all up in everybody's business!). What I have learned, sometimes the hard way, is it's also about not being more invested in someone's life than they are; especially if it's at the expense of taking care of your own responsibilities, goals and priorities.
As a marriage life coach, there have been so many times when I've found myself being more concerned about the fate of someone's relationship than the couple themselves. It would wreck me with worry and sometimes even fear. Then I had to learn that I am the life "coach", not the actual "players". If a couple truly wanted to "win", they were gonna have to show up. Accepting that brought more peace and balance into my life. Yet, before I did that, I was letting all kinds of things slide in my own world; things that I actually was responsible for.
So yeah, it's a good thing to be kind, caring and involved—to a point. But if you're so focused on someone else's life—online or off—to the point where yours isn't being properly tended to, you are sho 'nuf standing in your own way.
4. Your Boundaries with Toxic People Aren’t Clear
Here's a truth that a lot of us don't want to hear, but if you're sick and tired of standing in your own way, it must be said. Some of us keep getting mistreated by others because we're allowing them to do it. And we're allowing it by not putting any boundaries into place.
It took most of my adult life to realize that boundary-violators couldn't care less about the hurt and harm that they cause. If they did, they wouldn't violate in the first place. And so, the only way to break the cycle is to set some limits and then to be firm and unapologetic about them. Shoot, I'll take it one step further. Not only set them but to provide consequences for when they are violated in the future.
If you don't do that, you'll be standing in your own way, simply because you'll be spending (or is it wasting?) time healing from the damage these kinds of folks have caused rather than thriving as an individual. It's so counterproductive to inflict self-harm by constantly involving yourself with toxic individuals. The empowering thing about what I just said is you have the power to totally change this. Today if you want to.
5. You ALWAYS Put Emotion Over Logic
I must say, off top, that if you read this and immediately got all in your feelings, you are just the one who should finish this point. That said, there is nothing wrong with being emotional. It's a part of what makes us human. At the same time, there is such a thing as being too emotional. What does that look and live like? You criticize yourself a lot. You're hyper-sensitive to any kind of critique or criticism. You have knee-jerk reactions to pretty much any and everything. You overact to stuff. You're consumed with what others think of you. You cry at the drop a hat (and don't even know why you are doing it). You speak before you think. You're super self-conscious. You take everything personally. I could go on, but I think you get the gist. People who are like this tend to drain themselves and others. They also tend to stay stuck in life because unless they "feel" that they should or shouldn't do something, they don't.
Meanwhile, when you operate from a place of logic, you tend to factor in how current choices will affect future outcomes. You don't negate facts just so that you can coddle your feelings. You're attentive to details. You typically get straight to the point. You're big on personal responsibility and accountability. While your feelings may alert you to something, you rely on logic to come to a resolve.
Feelings are a good thing. But logic is what keeps your feelings from causing you to stand in your own way. The balance of the two is always a good thing.
6. You’re Not a “Goal Upgrader”
I believe that there are two kinds of people in this life. There are the ones who want to be a small fish in a big pond and those who want to be a big fish in a little pond. What I mean by that is some people would rather stay right where they are and remain in their comfort zone by only excelling in one thing or area—which is a "big fish"—rather than take risks and travel, meet new people and try new things—they are "small fishes". Or, another way to see it as they are "goal upgraders".
I'm not saying that we should be out here trying to be a jack of all trades. What I am saying, though, is all of us are multi-dimensional. Achieving a goal is cool. Once you have, though, now what? People who are constantly interested in, not being popular but being progressive, who like success but hate stagnation, they are the ones who are constantly knocking down obstacles and making real marks in this world. Nothing can stand in their way, not even themselves, because they are too focused on the next thing to remain "stuck" in the last one. They don't care about being a "big fish" with limitations. Being a "smaller fish" in a pond of numerous possibilities is just fine with them. Achievement means more than ego—and that always takes someone far.
7. You’re Impulsive
Impulsive spending. Talking too much. Being a pop-off. Being indecisive. Regretting a lot of past decisions. Being cyclic when it comes to bad habits and behavior. Doing things in excess. Having a bad (or quick) temper. Constantly making appointments/commitments and breaking them (which isn't good). Starting and stopping things at the drop of a hat. Engaging in lots of casual sex. Jumpin to conclusions a lot. Having a hard time being still and/or alone. "F—ck it" basically being a life motto.
If you really reflect on each of these things, I'm pretty sure you need no explanation from me about how you're standing in your own way by doing any—or all—of them. Let's move on to the next point.
8. You’re Unteachable
I'll tell you what. Social media has brought new meaning to "feeding the monster". It's like, so long as you're telling people how fabulous they are, it's all good. But the moment you provide a different perspective or food for thought, you need to be banished from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. No wonder there are articles out here like "Social Media Photo Overkill May Boost Narcissism", "Love Facebook? You Might Be an (Adaptive) Narcissist and Not Know It" and "OPINION: The Rise in Narcissism Through Social Media Is Harming Society".
When you have a sense of self-importance and entitlement; when you think that you have the right to share your opinion and perspective but you also feel that others don't (unless they agree with you); when you can't go one day without posting something because you crave the attention; when you only acknowledge praise but don't even take a moment to ponder criticism or pearls of wisdom—this not only defines narcissism, it leans towards arrogance and arrogant people are pretty unteachable.
Unteachable people stand in their own way because if you're not willing to learn, if you think that you're the only one who has something to "teach", you can't grow. If you don't grow, well...
9. You’ve Got an Excuse for Everything
An author and former stockbroker by the name of Jordan Belfort once said, "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bulls--t story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it." Yeah, buddy. If you're someone who knows that you'd be a billionaire if you were paid for every excuse that you made, a read that's at least worth skimming is "7 Things You Really Need to Know About Excuses".
As I was checking it out, I thought about how excuses are basically the love language of procrastinators. As long as you're telling yourself or others that you've got a good reason for doing or not doing something (that you know good and darn well that you should be doing or not doing), how can all real progress ever be made? Or, as the author of the article said in two of their points, "The more you make excuses, the easier it is to make even more excuses," and "You can get good at making excuses or you can get good at execution; you can't do both."
That to-do list that you've got close-by? What's it gonna be? Excuses or execution? One keeps you from getting things done. The other…doesn't.
10. You Rarely Leave the Past Where It Is
Mick Jagger once said something about the past that, for the most part, I agree with—"The past is a great place and I don't want to erase it or to regret it, but I don't want to be its prisoner either." As far as what he said about not regretting it, well, I have my own take on that word (you can read more about that here). But as far as the rest of his point? I think the past serves a purpose. If we're paying attention, it can show us what to do and what not to do. At the same time, as I'm currently still healing from some things in my own past, if you're not intentional about processing your past and also moving towards your present, certain things can keep you bitter, unforgiving and super stuck.
It would be a shame if, 20 years from now, you realized that the reason why you didn't make the most of that time wasn't because of anything other than you standing in your own way. So, what are you gonna do? Stand or…move? Please choose wisely.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
What It Means To Find True Self-Love
How To Handle "Purpose Fatigue"
These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily
6 Signs You Are WAY Too Self-Critical
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
We have less than 40 days left in 2024, and while I'm not one to rush goals just because it's the end of the year, it can be fun to challenge yourself to think about ways you'll close out this year big.
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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When it comes to achieving long hair, two things that more of us in the Black community need to stop saying (or believing) are 1) our hair cannot gain some super serious inches (lies!) and 2) once our hair appears to not be able to get past a certain length, it has actually “stopped growing” (more lies!).
The reality is, so long as you’ve got hair that’s coming out of your scalp (well, technically your hair follicles), your tresses are absolutely growing. At the same time, if not having the type of length retention that you’d like is your issue or you’ve hit what is known as a “growth plateau” that typically has to do with something else (other than genetics, although, that oftentimes plays a role in the speed of growth more than anything else). Something else like what?
Overmanipulating your hair via your styling practices. Applying too much heat. Using products that dry out your hair (including chemical relaxers and permanent hair dyes). Not making sure to baby those ends of yours.
And do you know what else can keep your hair “stuck” at the neck, shoulder, or even well past bra strap length? Not getting the proper nutrients in your system — because, indeed, no matter what you put on top of your hair, it’s ultimately not going to matter all that much if you’re not making sure that your body is receiving the proper nutrients that your tresses need…so that your hair can be strong and healthy from the inside out.
So, if you have had your hair at basically the same length since, chile who knows when, it’s time to take a moment to ponder if you’re getting enough of the following 10 nutrients into your system.
10 Nutrients for Hair Growth
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1. Vitamin B12
If you seem to feel tired and drained, no matter how much rest you get, or lately you can’t seem to remember or retain information, it could be a sign of a vitamin B12 deficiency. Know what else is: excessive hair shedding, weak hair follicles, and premature graying (check out “This Is How To Naturally Treat Premature Greying”). So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin supplement, this is a good reminder to get one and to make sure that it provides you with around 2.4 micrograms of vitamin B12 per day. Your body, from head to toe, will thank you.
2. Biotin
One of the main reasons why you need some biotin (which is vitamin B7) in your body is because it helps to turn food into energy. Also, if you’re pregnant, it’s a very necessary nutrient for your ever-growing baby.
As far as your hair goes, biotin is beneficial because it can help to restore hair loss. And, since it also helps your system to create the protein keratin (and your hair is made up of mostly that), it can be beneficial as far as growing stronger hair (and nails) too. Personally, since I’ve incorporated this into my daily vitamin regimen, I’ve noticed a lot less hair in my detangling brush — significantly so.
3. Iron
You may have heard somewhere that we (Black people) deal with low iron in our blood more than white folks do — and while science is still trying to get down to the (pardon the pun) root of why, that is indeed the case. That said, something that I recently discovered is that even once someone is diagnosed with having low iron, over 60 percent of people continue to have it as much as three years later. This is alarming because, in order for your blood cells to be healthy, they need iron; there is no way around that.
And, the reason why all of this is relevant to this article is, when iron gives your cells the protein that they need, that can help to feed your hair follicles and prevent hair loss. In fact, a telling sign that you may be anemic (whether you know it or not) is if your hair is excessively shedding or you’re not seeing much growth progress as far as your tresses are concerned.
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4. Omega Fatty Acids
If you wanna take care of your heart, make your vision stronger, reduce bodily inflammation, decrease asthmatic-related symptoms in your children, and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety — these are just some of the reasons to get some omega fatty acids into your system. As a supreme bonus, your skin and hair will adore them because they help to reduce UV damage, can help to heal acne and yes, they’re even known for accelerating hair growth. Some health experts even say that omega fatty acids can make your hair strands thicker over time as well.
5. Foods High in Protein
Wanna lose weight? Consume more protein. Get your metabolism up? Consume more protein. Increase muscle mass? Consume more protein. Have hair that is thriving on every level? Yep, you’ve already guessed it: consume more freakin’ protein. Since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin), if you want to keep it in great shape, it makes all the sense in the world that you would need to incorporate (more) protein into your diet. Foods that are packed with protein include lamb, turkey, almonds, Greek yogurt, and quinoa (also check out “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.”).
6. Foods High in Vitamin E
If you want to reduce oxidative stress, strengthen your lungs, make your periods more manageable, reduce the fat that your liver collects, and/or deeply hydrate and soften your skin, you definitely need foods that contain vitamin E in your life. Some of those include salmon, red peppers, wheat germ oil (it’s got a ton!), almond oil, and avocados. Every time that you take in any of these things, you know that your tresses are happy; that’s because vitamin E also maintains scalp health, helps to prevent hair loss, and keeps your locks nice and shiny (from the inside out) too.
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7. Foods High in Vitamin C
The powerful antioxidants that are found in vitamin C are great for keeping your immune system strong. Vitamin C is also beneficial as far as helping to manage your blood pressure, helping to prevent anemia (by helping your body to process iron more effectively), and keeping your cells healthy overall. Since vitamin C, in pretty much every form, helps with the production of collagen, it’s also a nutrient that fights premature aging in your skin along with making your hair stronger and less prone to breakage.
8. Foods High in Zinc
A nutrient that strengthens and heals is zinc. The reason why I say that is because it can boost your immunity, treat acne, and speed up the healing process of (minor) ulcers. When it comes to what zinc can do for your hair, specifically, it helps to restore damaged hair follicles and it can help to prevent hair loss before it even happens. Foods high in zinc include red meat, pumpkin seeds, eggs, whole grains, and dark chocolate (so long as it has a high amount of cacao, which is a more unrefined type of cocoa, in it).
9. Foods High in Silica
What is silica? Basically, it’s a compound that is made up of both silicon and oxygen. The reason why you need it is because it helps with bone and joint health, it rebuilds collagen levels in your body, it can aid in balancing out your hormones and it’s great for cultivating glowing skin.
Your hair will thrive with the assistance of silica because it strengthens your hair follicles and reduces hair breakage which is always what you need to get over your hair growth plateaus. Foods that are a good source of silica include dark leafy greens, oats, melons, cucumbers, and even beer, chile.
10. Fruit-Infused Water
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Overlooked Signs That You're Dehydrated.” With over 75 percent of Americans continuing to be dehydrated, it’s important to know what indicates that you may be since you definitely need water in order to keep your system running at an optimal level. As far as your hair goes, when it’s not hydrated enough, your scalp can become dry and itchy, your hair can become brittle, your locks can lose volume and it’s definitely more vulnerable to split ends.
That said, y’all, I make it no secret that water tastes like wet air to me. Still, I know that I need it and so, the way that I get more of it into my body is by either drinking sparkling water (with some fruit juice in it) or making some fruit-infused water which is literally water with some fresh fruit (and/or veggies and/or herbs) added in. Fruit-infused water is dope because it can hydrate you and get you some extra nutrients at the same time. For some delicious recipes, go here, here and here.
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Hair growth plateaus? For most of us, it’s common. However, you don’t have to settle for them. Giving your hair some TLC, being super gentle with your ends, and taking all of what I just said, nutrient-wise, seriously — it can get you past having hair at the same length (which basically means that it’s breaking off about as fast as its growing) and into a totally new growth phase. It’s possible. Stay focused.
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