

If you've ever wondered where the word "aphrodisiac" actually comes from, you can pretty much thank the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. Because food and sex are pretty much the strongest appetites that we have and since they both appeal to all five of our senses — sight, taste, touch, smell, and hearing — the belief is there are foods that can intensify our desire for physical intimacy. And yes, these foods are called aphrodisiacs.
Because fall is my absolute favorite season of the year and also because I'm all about encouraging everyone in earshot to go to their local farmers market to get some produce when it's in season (because that's when fruits and veggies are their freshest and you can get the most nutrients out of them), I thought it would be cool to share a list of some fruits and veggies that are currently in season and, as you soon will see, also qualify as being deliciously stimulating aphrodisiacs too.
1. Apples
While apples are clearly available all throughout the year, it might surprise you to know that their actual peak season is early fall thru late winter. So, if you're all about homemade apple crisp or apple cheddar soup, this would be the ideal time to make either or both. Health-wise, apples are good for you because they are a great source of Vitamin C and fiber. Plus, they're able to help to keep you regular, lower your cholesterol levels, support your immune system, give you good gut health (due to the prebiotics that are in them), reduce your chances of becoming diabetic and, they even contain compounds that help to fight asthma.
And just why are apples an aphrodisiac? Well, two other things that this particular fruit has in it are polyphenols and antioxidants. Both of these can help to stimulate blood flow, including to your genital region. There are also studies that say apples can improve the sex quality of young women. So, if it's been a minute since you've snacked on one, what are you waiting for, sis?
Apple Recipe: The Best Cheddar Apple Soup
2. Eggplant
I don't know about y'all but a question that irks me is, "What do you know how to cook?" Not because I mind discussing the kitchen and what happens in it, but what kind of general question is that? What I will say is one of my favorite DIY dishes is eggplant parmesan. Due to its texture, it's a great meat substitute. On the benefits tip, this is a fruit (yes, fruit) that contains a good amount of fiber and protein. It's also pretty cool as far as manganese content goes. If you're wondering what else makes it so good for you, eggplant contains antioxidants that fight off free radicals and it's known to keep blood sugar levels in check.
Sexually, it really should come as no surprise that eggplants are on the list (I mean, considering the emoji meaning and all), but if you're wondering exactly why this is the case, the potassium that's in it helps to lower one's blood pressure which can help your partner to maintain his erection. Eggplant also has Vitamin B6 which is awesome when it comes to boosting sexual performance overall.
Eggplant Recipe: Baigan Chokha
3. Pumpkin
Of course, pumpkins are on here! They are the quintessential fall food. Tons of fiber and protein, a huge amount of Vitamin A, some Vitamin C, potassium, copper, manganese, and iron are all reasons to get in on this seasonal fall fruit. As a bonus, the antioxidants in pumpkin help to keep chronic diseases from forming, the beta-carotene in it can strengthen your immune system and it even contains compounds that are really good for your skin.
As far as your sex life goes, the focus needs to mostly go into the seeds of the pumpkin. That's because they are full of omega-3 fatty acids which are lipid compounds that help to keep your sexual health intact. Also, pumpkin seeds are known to support prostate health, and, thanks to the zinc that they also have in them, pumpkin seeds can improve sperm quality if you and your partner are currently trying to conceive.
Pumpkin Recipe: Spiced Pumpkin Latte Cheesecake
4. Pears
Pears are one of those fruits that I have to be in the mood to eat yet I never regret it whenever I bite into one. Let me tell you, thanks to all of the fiber that's in it, it really is one of the sweetest ways to stay regular. Straight up. Aside from that, pears are good for you because they've got a fair amount of Vitamin C and copper. Pears also help to keep your gut in good shape, contain the compounds lutein and zeaxanthin which are good for your vision, are able to lower your diabetes risk, can help you to lose weight, and are rich in flavonoids which ultimately reduce your body's chances of experiencing any inflammation.
Maybe it's just me but pears look kinda sexy, thanks to their feminine curves yet I digress (LOL). Because this fruit is full of anthocyanins, flavones, and flavanones, it's got a pretty good reputation for naturally treating men who may deal with erectile dysfunction on some level.
Pear Recipe: Caramelized Pear and Bourbon Turnovers
5. Kale
Did you know that kale is a part of the cabbage family? While it's another food that you probably don't think about having a peak season, it is mostly harvested between the early fall and late wintertime. Since it happens to be a dark leafy green, I'm pretty sure that you know that, health-wise, kale's benefits are pretty much off the charts! Y'all, the daily value of Vitamin A in kale is 206 percent, in Vitamin C, it's 164 percent and in Vitamin K, it's a whopping 684 percent. The antioxidants quercetin and kaempferol in kale help to prevent the kind of oxidative damage that can lead to cancer. Kale also helps your system to build calcium and is a pretty good source of minerals like magnesium which can help to de-stress you.
It's actually the magnesium in kale that makes it a great food for sex. For one thing, it helps your body to produce the hormones that help to keep your libido intact. Magnesium also makes it easier for testosterone to flow freely throughout the body of men and women which results in your sex drive going up a couple of notches. And finally, because Vitamin A deficiency plays a direct role in fertility issues among so many women, if you want to make a baby, a kale salad or some kale chips can help you out — naturally.
Kale Recipe: Sautéed Kale
6. Figs
Figs are a bit of an acquired taste; still, I can get down with them when it comes to certain dishes. Health-wise, they are a good source of fiber. They're also known for boosting digestive health, improving blood fat levels, managing blood sugar levels and, in extract form, figs are pretty great at helping to boost collagen, strengthen skin cells and reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
Remember how I said earlier that I think pears are kinda sexy in their appearance? This is how many people feel about figs; they even think its smell is a bit of a turn-on. When it comes to your actual sex life, though, the amino acids in this fruit can help to trigger your libido. Also, it has magnesium and potassium that can help to balance your body's electrolytes, decrease your body's blood pressure and increase your libido and stamina.
Fig Recipe: Fall Fig and Chicken Sandwich
7. Butternut Squash
You can also find butternut squash all of the time, but it is known to be best around this time of the year. What I really like about it is it's the kind of veggie that is, oddly enough, both sweet and nutty at the same time. And if you're looking for something that is pretty much a multivitamin-food, butternut squash has totally got your back because it's rich in fiber, protein, vitamins A and C and tons of other vitamins and minerals while being a low-calorie food too. The carotenoids (which is what gives the squash its color) help with cell growth as well as eye and bone health. It's also a food that's pretty good at supporting digestion and boosting your immunity.
OK, aside from the fact that in the sexual position world, there is something known as the "butternut squash" (chile…CHILE. You can read about it here), this is another food that is high in omega-3s which can also help to increase dopamine levels. This is a good thing because dopamine is a natural hormone that helps our system to detect when we experience feelings of pleasure and sex definitely falls under that category. Amen? Sho' you right.
Butternut Squash Recipe: Roasted Butternut Squash
8. Cranberries
Cranberry sauce. I'm pretty sure that at least half of y'all are gonna make or eat some before this year is out. Although, in their purest form, cranberries lean towards the tart/bitter side on the taste tip, they actually contain about four grams of fructose per serving. They also have a lot of fiber, a little bit of protein and some Vitamin B, C, E, manganese and copper, along with some pretty powerful plant compounds and antioxidants. I'm pretty certain that cranberry's most popular health benefit is it has phytonutrients in it that help to prevent and health UTIs (urinary tract infections). It's also got compounds that can help to prevent stomach ulcers and liver disease.
So, what can cranberries do for your sex life? The Vitamin C in them helps to synthesize sex and fertility hormones like androgen, estrogen and progesterone. The Vitamin E in them increases blood circulation from head to toe. The Vitamin Bs in them can relax you and stimulate your libido at the same time.
Cranberry Recipe: Cranberry Smoothie9. Arugula
If you've ever eaten arugula before, you know that it has a bit of a bitter and peppery taste to it. Vitamins A, C and K, potassium, folate and calcium are just some of the nutrients that it contains. Because it's also a dark leafy green, it's a good source of fiber, it helps to improve bone and teeth health, it supports your muscles working properly and it helps your cells to stay healthy and strong.
Between the nutrients that I just mentioned and the antioxidants that are also in arugula, it's a valid aphrodisiac because the properties in it also help to fight off free radicals — the kind that play a direct role in causing your libido to tank, if you're not careful.
Arugula Recipe: Thai Steak and Noodle Salad10. Passion Fruit
One more. How could something with the name "PASSION fruit" not be an aphrodisiac? Fiber, vitamins A and C, antioxidants, and potassium are plentiful in this fruit, and they all work together to help to reduce your diabetes risk, boost your immunity, support your heart health, and decrease any anxiety that you may be experiencing.
Because the potassium in this fruit helps to keep your blood pressure where it needs to be while its medicinal alkaloids and several phytonutrients help you to sleep well and the Vitamin A in it helps to produce testosterone (which you and your partner's libido absolutely need), this is why it can never hurt to bring a few slices of passion fruit into your boudoir. It's sweet. It's sexy. And it bona fide in-fall-season aphrodisiac. Eat up and enjoy!
Passion Fruit Recipe: Pan Fried Salmon with Passion Fruit Sauce
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Getty Images