You Got What You Prayed For…Now What?
Throughout the better part of my life, I've heard the saying: “Ask and ye shall receive."
The idea that whatever we desire is just waiting for us to claim it through the words out of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts has been a welcome companion in good and bad times alike. However, like most simple steps, it was the hardest one to commit to—the total reliance on faith, God, and energy. So, I first took my semi-commitment to social media because, as we all know by this point, social media is where we go to say the things that our close friends are tired of hearing.
I started to be upfront with the “world" about my desires with hopes that the Universe would respond to me and let me know I was on the right track. So I'd tweet this:
I half-believed it and half-expected it to happen about five to ten years from now.
Fast forward three years and I am here: a working actress, a writer, well-traveled, and a boyfriend who—you guessed it—loves loves art and hip-hop. We're holding off on the kids for a while, but I have it; I have what I asked for. Now what? Oftentimes, we arrive at our proverbial destination and have no idea what to do in order to keep climbing. We either become workhorses who have no time to enjoy the blessings we prayed for or we become complacent and forget that our dreams must be fed consistently.
So here are seven answers to the question, “Now what?"
1.Get Specific
Now that you've laid the foundation, it's time to build on it. Generalizing your dreams is not enough. You want to write a book? What kind? Do you want it to be a NYT bestseller? You want to own a business? Where? For how long? Do you want to be on the cover of Forbes when it's all said and done? Details will save you energy in the long run because you'll know what to focus on every step of the way. Distractions and wasted time are like poison for dreamers.
2.Be Bold
This is not the time to be bashful. You fought to be here, don't make light of your journey, and don't be afraid to share what you've learned. This also applies to tip one, ask God for exactly what you want. He knows your heart anyway, so why hold back for fear that you won't get it? Courage is such a huge part of success!
3.Stop Comparing
If you're worried about competing with the person next to you, you'll have less time to build your own empire. And trust me, they're just as concerned about tomorrow as you are. That's human nature. Your dreams, your story, your cornbread…it's yours. No one can take it from you. And the opposite is true: you cannot receive another person's blessings. If they have it, it's theirs, and it wouldn't fit you anyway.
4.Take Away the Ceiling
One of my favorite teachers would tell us to never aim for an A because, "Once you get that A, you'll feel like there's nothing left to learn." If you tell yourself that there is a goal you want to reach and make that goal the ceiling for your dreams—you'll miss out on your ability to keep growing.
5.Make a New List of Goals
This may seem like an obvious step, but I'm always shocked by how many people never think to keep dreaming bigger. Chances are, if you're traveling, researching, meeting new people, and learning all there is to know about your particular field, you'll discover new talents—use them.
6.Sleep
Listen, nothing will feed your dreams better than a well-rested mind. Don't believe the "they sleep, we grind" narrative; running your body into the ground in the name of your dreams won't get you there any quicker. What it will do is slow down your progress. Sleep deprivation directly affects your central nervous system, aka the place where your ideas come from.
7.Live
No, really. You must find time to live. Take some risks. Break some ties. Form some new relationships. Read some books. Spend one too many hours on Tumblr. Go to a museum. Post that selfie you were going to post, but then thought it was too much. Do absolutely nothing for an entire day. Whatever makes you feel alive, do it. Do not become so stifled by success that taking a step away from your work riddles you with fear of being left behind. This is very important for all of you creatives out there—the best thing you can do for your art is to be a well-rounded person with life experiences.
Cut yourself some slack. Enjoy what you have right now and keep going!
Featured image by Getty Images
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Blondes Have More Fun: 7 Celebs Going Lighter This Spring And How You Can Too
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Do blondes have more fun?” it could be time to answer the call for change with a new hair color.
As summer quickly approaches, many celebrities are taking the plunge and embracing lighter hair tones, infusing their tresses with blonde tones to match the season's vibrancy.
Whether you’re looking to add a few golden highlights through your mane or go the bold route of platinum, it's essential to understand how to go lighter in the safest way possible. We’re all about preserving the health and integrity of our hair; that’s why we’ve solicited the help of Crystal Arinze, a WellCapped Affiliate hairstylist, to provide you with the best tips and insight to achieve your desired bleach blonde look without compromising your crowning glory.
On how to prepare your hair before bleaching:
“When prepping to bleach hair, a protective barrier such as Vaseline should be applied to the scalp and around the edges of the head to prevent the bleach from touching the scalp/skin, to avoid burning and chemicals entering the pores, avoid washing, specifically shampooing the hair before bleaching. Shampoo strips the hair of its natural oils that act as a protective layer.”
Rihanna
Monica Schipper/WireImage via Getty Images
Zendaya
Marc Piasecki/WireImage via Getty Images
On consulting with your stylist before bleaching your hair:
“Stylists should also ask their clients about their prior history of bleaching their hair for better knowledge of the current state of the hair. Ensuring the state of the hair is moisturized and healthy enough before bleaching is very important. If the hair is weak, dry, or has been incorrectly colored in the past, bleaching is not a good idea. If bleached on already damaged hair, one’s hair could fall out within minutes.
"To achieve a blonde moment without sacrificing the integrity of the hair, clients can opt to wear a wig instead.”
Beyoncé
Serena Williams
Kelly Rowland
On how to avoid common mistakes when bleaching their hair at home:
“Many people do not properly calculate the appropriate amount of time the bleach should be in their hair. Not ensuring the consistency of the bleach is being mixed correctly is also a problem. Lastly, many neglect post-bleaching maintenance and care after bleaching their hair, which may cause the hair to become dry, brittle, and damaged. Anyone who would like to bleach their hair at home should do their due diligence and research step by step for the best results.”
Saweetie
Phillip FaraoneVF24Getty Images for Vanity Fair
Da'Vine Joy Randolph
JC Olivera/WireImage via Getty Images
On the best post-bleaching hair aftercare:
“Biweekly or monthly hydration treatments to ensure the hair stays moisturized. Regular maintenance trims help to remove dead ends and promote growth. Avoiding color long or bleaching again for at least 6-12 months after initial bleaching.”
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Featured image by Monica Schipper/WireImage via Getty Images