The Ultimate Guide For Sending A Tasteful Nude
“…how you talked me into sending that to you? I’ll never know. f-ck it, girl. I’m bout whatever, tho." -Drake, "Recognize"
While talking to an older relative, she asked me why my generation was so obsessed with sharing everything. I didn’t have much of an answer for her, because I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. And I’ve sent a nude or 15. I guess it’s just how we do things. This relative, a 60-plus-year-old woman who “doesn’t trust Google” and probably still has money hidden under a mattress somewhere, just didn’t get it, and I was in no position to explain it to her without sharing some rather frisky details about myself. We millennials are into documenting and sharing everything. I mean, if it wasn't caught on Snapchat did it really even happen?
On the topic of nudes, allow me to start by saying I believe them to be a pretty cool way to keep things spicy. It took me a bit of time to come around to the idea of taking half-naked pics, but when I found myself in a long distance relationship that went on for nearly two years, I decided to give it a try. I trusted my boyfriend and wanted to make him happy. But when I decided to try my hand at my inaugural nude, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd react having my mentions explode because my nipples made their way onto Twitter.
How would I tell my mother that I wanted to make my boyfriend's day and that's why my ass is plastered all over the explore page of IG?
Luckily, I've never had to defend my nudes. The recipient(s) know that I will sue them for every single pair of Jordans they own and come for their mommas' too. But, not all women can relate to that. I've been on Twitter about 7 years and I've seen my share of pictures leaked by jaded lovers. In the early days, leaked photos meant deactivate your account because it's over. These gross invasions of privacy led to endless retweets and droves of folks cheering on the leaker. Thankfully, those days are almost over. Now, the leaking of nude photos is often blamed on the true fool, a.k.a. the person who thought stooping to such a level and violating someone who trusted them was cool. Society is now much less forgiving of those who resort to said tactics and legislature has been passed in several states to protect victims against what has been dubbed “revenge porn.”
Unsurprisingly, victims of revenge porn are usually 15- to 25-year-old women who did nothing but document intimate moments with a non-deserving idiot. Though there is no way to ensure that you never become the star of some revenge porn flick (outside of completely opting out of sending them, which is no fun), there are ways to protect your privacy in the event that you don't know someone as well as you thought. Here are a few tips:
- No face, no case. Angles are our friends. They have the ability to enhance the sexy and show off one's creativity. A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie.
[Tweet "A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie."]
- Try to avoid showcasing distinctive tattoos and birth marks. If you have an insane chest piece, consider throwing on a tank and using good lighting to get a solid nipple pic, Or, stay out of the boob area entirely and send pics of your…well, something that could belong to any woman, if you catch my drift.
- Please don't use THAT mirror. If these pictures do find their way onto the timeline, it’s kinda hard to say it wasn’t you when it has those blue curtains from Target’s 2013 back-to-college collection. You know, the same exact ones in just about every other selfie you’ve posted in the last two years. Location. It's all about location.
- STAY AWAY FROM F-BOYS. If you've seen him leak pics of other women, please proceed with caution. Any guy who has, alludes to or jokes about leaking pictures is probably not someone you should be sending your nani to. Just saying.
Lastly, if someone ever does try to use your nude photos against you, remember that you are NOT the problem. You did what you did in confidence and probably looked damn good doing it.
At worst, you’ll have to explain it all to your dad, but at best, you could end up with a Kim Kardashian-sized come-up. Or maybe just an episode of Love and Hip-Hop. Ya never know!
What are some of your tips and tricks for sending nudes? Share with us below.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Growing up in Brooklyn, New York, Caribbean culture has always been all around me, from the food to the dancehall and soca music to traditions carried out by all of the Caribbean people living in the city. As a youngin, I loved attending the West Indian Day Parade every September because the floats, steel drums, extravagant feathers, and upbeat music made me feel free and gave me a deeper appreciation for the culture.
As I got older, I learned that the yearly Carnivals happening across the Caribbean put NYC’s little festivities to shame. Traveling to the islands themselves and experiencing the people and culture first-hand really gives you a deeper understanding and appreciation for Caribbean culture.
The history of Carnival celebrations in the Caribbean can be traced back to enslaved people who were forbidden from participating in the Pre-Lenten celebrations and thus created their own celebrations and traditions, which over time developed into celebrations of freedom and rebellion. Each country in the Caribbean has its own unique history of celebrations, as well as its own Carnival traditions that set it apart from other festivities.
What started as a Pre-Lenten celebration is now celebrated during a range of months throughout the year and now attracts hundreds of people from all over the world. Here are six carnivals that you should go to this year to experience this culture for yourself.
Crop Over - Barbados Carnival
Crop Over Dates: July 31, 2024 - August 6, 2024
What better place to celebrate carnival than the home of our Bajan Queen Rihanna? While some festivities start as early as May, the official festival season in Barbados starts in July and ends in early August. Crop Over originally started as a way for plantation workers to celebrate the end of the sugarcane harvest season and has now evolved into a much larger celebration. Crop Over is a blend of both old and new traditions, such as the Ceremonial Delivery of the Last Canes, and Cohobblopot, where bands show off their beautiful costumes and play soca and calypso music.
All of the week's festivities culminate with the Grand Kadooment, Crop Over’s big parade featuring all of the bands and droves of people taking to the streets in their beautiful costumes and dancing to the local music.
Other things to do: Visit Hunte’s Garden in Joseph’s Parish and find peace in the picturesque garden while spotting an array of different birds and animals. If you’re looking for beach relaxation, spend a day at Carlisle Bay, the perfect beach for swimming, taking in some sun, and a possible turtle sighting.
Saint Thomas Carnival
Saint Thomas Carnival Dates: April 28, 2024 - May 5, 2024
No passport? That won’t be a problem for U.S. travelers looking to get in on the carnival experience. Saint Thomas, one of the three U.S. Virgin Islands, is known for its crystal clear beaches, scuba diving scene, and overall vibrant culture. The island celebrates its carnival in late April and features a dynamic lineup of events including colorful adult and kiddie parades, calypso competitions, and street parties. Virgin Islanders are known to love to party, so make sure to fill up before the festivities with some local favorites like johnny cakes, callaloo, and conch fritters.
With its rich cultural heritage and lively atmosphere, this is a carnival experience perfect for a first-timer who wants to ease their way into the lifestyle.
Other things to do: Visit one of Saint Thomas’ many turquoise blue beaches such as Coki, Magens Bay, Brewers Bay, or Lindquist Beach. Coki Beach is perfect if you're looking for a more lively experience and want to snorkel without swimming far out, and Brewers Bay is best known for the sea turtles that you can see from the sand. You can also take a short ferry over to Saint John, another of the Virgin Islands, and spend a day at Lime Out, a floating taco and margarita bar.
Spicemas - Grenada Carnival
Courtesy of Grenada Tourism Authority
Spicemas Dates: August 7, 2024 - August 14, 2024
Grenada, also known as the Spice Isle due to its production of a variety of spices, has one of the most anticipated carnivals every year. During Spicemas, revelers hit the streets for lively music, paint, oil, dancing, and good times. One of the most important aspects of Spicemas is Jab Jab, a celebration that involves covering one's body in black oil or paint. This tradition started as a post-emancipation masquerade, in which former enslaved Africans would paint themselves black emulating a “Jab” derived from the French word diable, which means devil.
This was a way of mocking their former masters and also represented rebellion and freedom. Since then, the tradition has evolved into a staple of Carnival on J’ouvert morning, a celebration of freedom, and undoubtedly an element that makes Grenada stand out from other Carnivals across the diaspora. Outside of J’ouvert, Spicemas is a beautiful culmination of colorful and vibrant costumes, steel band competitions, delicious rum, and music that you’ll dance to all night.
Grenada is celebrating 50 years of independence this year, so just know that Spicemas is going to be extra special!
Other things to do: For the ocean lovers, the Molinere Bay Underwater Sculpture Park is a must-see attraction. It is the world's first underwater sculpture park and a popular excursion for folks visiting the island. This year, five new installations are being added to the park, which can all be viewed through snorkeling, diving, or a glass bottom boat ride.
Antigua Carnival
Antigua Carnival Dates: July 31, 2024 - August 7, 2024
Every August, carnival lovers flock to the beautiful island of Antigua for its annual carnival festival. First celebrated in 1957, Antigua’s Carnival started as a celebration of emancipation from slavery and has since expanded into a dynamic showcase of local talent, music, and cultural pride. Some events to look forward to are the Party Monarch and Calypso Monarch competitions, as well as the Caribbean Queen’s Competition.
Antigua Carnival is an almost two-week extravaganza that leads into J’ouvert on Carnival Monday and the main parade on Carnival Tuesday. If you love good music, vibrant costumes, and delicious food, this is the carnival for you.
Other things to do: Take a trip to Shirley Heights Lookout for live music and breathtaking panoramic views of the coastline and ocean. And with 365 beaches in total, you’d be missing out if you didn’t fit in a few on your itinerary.
Bermuda Carnival
Bermuda Carnival Dates: June 12, 2024 - June 17, 2024
Also known as Heroes Weekend, Bermuda Carnival may be smaller than some of the other carnivals, but is still a great time. Bermuda is one of the newer carnivals, originating in 2015. Celebrated in June, this long weekend of festivities draws inspiration from other popular carnivals while also highlighting elements of Bermudian culture. You can expect some similar elements as other countries such as daily fetes, soca music, and a parade filled with different bands and extravagant costumes.
They also celebrate Bermuda’s National Heroes during carnival with a national feast. Bermudians have immense pride in their country and culture, and their carnival is the biggest celebration of the year that you don’t want to miss.
Other things to do: Take a day trip to Crystal and Fantasy Caves, beautiful caves formed over millions of years that you can take tours of. Spend a few hours taking in these beautiful natural wonders and seeing some of the formations and underground pools.
Saint Lucia Carnival
Saint Lucia Carnival Dates: July 10, 2024 - July 17, 2024
Home to some of the most beautiful mountains and beaches in the Caribbean, Saint Lucia has the perfect backdrop for an unforgettable carnival experience. Saint Lucia Carnival didn’t take flight until the late 1940s but has grown into a favorite for both novice and seasoned masqueraders. Formerly held in February, this carnival now kicks off in July which allows it not to compete with the highly revered Trinidadian carnival that also happens at that time. Saint Lucia’s Carnival has grown in popularity over the years because of the lively music, delicious food, and turned-up fetes.
One of the highlights is the Parade of the Bands, where masqueraders adorned in elaborate costumes dance through the streets to the rhythms of soca, calypso, and steelpan music. The best way to prepare for the Saint Lucia Carnival is to stay hydrated and well-fed so that you can thoroughly enjoy the plethora of events and parties happening from early morning to nightfall.
Other things to do:The Pitons, Gros Piton and Petit Piton are a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the main attractions in Saint Lucia. Take a hike of Gros Piton or just marvel at its natural beauty. If you're there on a Friday night, stop by the weekly Gros Islet Street Party, which is filled with music, drinks, and local food.
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Featured image courtesy of Grenada Tourism Authority