Why One Young Couple Lived Together For A Year Before Their Marriage | xoNECOLE

Why One Young Couple Lived Together For A Year Before Their Marriage

Comments (51)
  1. Lanee Foster says:

    7 years of dating and he needed to live with her to be sure?

    (12)
    1. xedos says:

      They’e both Jamaican. their is a Jamaican saying “seeing me and come live with me are two different things”.Not everyone you get along with you can live under the same roof with.

      (9)
  2. Tee says:

    Very cute couple! Love is story.

    It seems that moving in before marriage only works if you know that this is the person you want to marry. I lived with a boyfriend before. I knew he wasn’t the one and the breakup was awkward to say the least. What I don’t quite understand is saying you don’t get to know a person until you live with them, I personally did not have this problem. If you spend enough time with someone (I’m talking years, not weeks or months), you will learn them. Long weekends or vacations together etc, you will see who they are. I mean you wouldn’t move in with a stranger would you? Moving in with someone teaches you minor things. They don’t put the toilet seat down, they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the top not the bottom, they don’t rinse their dishes before putting them in the sink. You get my drift. None of these things are enough to end a relationship off the basis that you “got to see who they really are” (Then again, maybe they are lol). Every major decision, like living with someone, should be thought out. If it makes sense go for it!

    (7)
  3. Empress SC says:

    I would never live with a man until he’s my husband. It is just one of my standards. However I never knock anyone else for doing them. Also @Laura I agree.

    (6)
  4. I like that they both made sure they were done with school and personal goals before moving in together and getting engaged. They have nothing holding them back!

    (4)
  5. It’s good they waited. They were teenagers when they started dating so can’t really blame them for taking their time.

    (2)
  6. They don’t make em’ like that anymore.

    (2)
  7. Good for them!!!! One year of living together is ideal prior to marriage Too many years later, you might have found yourself a good old roommate!

    Edit: In This day and age, it is wise to at least, ‘test the water’ before jumping in. I’d like to keep things nice, formal and old fashioned. Courting, chaperones on dates etc. However we live in time when its not exactly prudent to simply just jump & get married! There’s too much deception my ladies! Living together for a wee bit prepares you to an extent, for what is ahead. However don’t lay up for years, waiting for a ring! Nope! Nope! Make sure that’s it’s crystal clear, that you’re living together, but with the intention of marriage to follow. Also, please understand that if you have to ask, where its heading… The answer is generally nowhereville!

    Be wise, think and the best

    (0)
    1. I think engagement is OK to think about combining spaces but personally as a girlfriend I will never give up my independence and safety net of my own place with no commitment. Not smart. When you have Decided to make me your wife I will act as one. Until then u get girlfriend privileges Patna lol

      (2)
    2. Lmfaoooo 😂😂 I died at the Patna portion!!! You definitely have valid points Shandra Graham. Lol I personally don’t mind sharing place if I love him enough to get married and live life, but I totally get your pov😊😊

      Ps… Every situation is unique-) but be smart and cautious my ladies

      (0)
    3. Janay Ruiz says:

      I agree with you

      (0)
  8. 7 years tho??? If you don’t by year 2 if y’all wanna be married then living together ain’t a deciding factor. In 7 damn years I’m sure yall have spent every waking moment together. Sheesh….I personally won’t waste that many years as a girlfriend but to each his own.

    (0)
    1. To you its not long but I don’t have it to waste. I’m also not relationship crazed so I can be alone for years working on my craft and not need companionship like that. Just the way I’ve been wired. I also know plenty of men and couples who needed only 2 or less years to be ready so it is possible and what I want. If you’re down with being someone girlfriend for 10 years cook beans

      (2)
    2. Word! I find it mind boggling to be together that long unwed! 😁👀 Won’t be me! A year… 1.5 max!!! Then we jumping da broom or branching out! 😉

      (0)
    3. Janay Ruiz says:

      A year- 1.5 yrs seems short to me but maybe because I’ve been in a few long term relationships that have ended. So I don’t really look at the amount of time as a factor. With so many divorces, I think it’s fine to take your time as long as it’s something both sides want.

      (0)
    4. Swan Johnson says:

      Yup….to each his own. My husband and I wed after 7 years and we’ve been married almost 8☺️

      (0)
    5. Yep sometimes both parties arent ready. Depends on the maturity factor as well. I personally want a man that don’t wanna play house for 10 years before deciding to settle down. He can do that without me. I’m Not chilling with someone sowing their oats been there done that IN COLLEGE. To grown now and time wait for no man

      (0)
    6. It’s actually not that long considering marriage is supposed to = the rest of your life

      (0)
  9. I’ve always loved hearing stories of how people met, etc. Beautiful story! I just love love!

    (1)
  10. All the wifey duties she was doing, it influenced his mind…if they didn’t live together, it may be a totally different story. Hence, its been 7 years prior to all of this..

    (0)
  11. Chani Mimi says:

    I don’t see a problem with this. Dating someone and living with them are two different things

    (0)
    1. Yep bcuz some people change once you both under the same roof.

      (0)
  12. Ms. Smith says:

    @Tee you’re right. I wouldn’t move in with a stranger but I believe long vacations and weekends are not adequate enough time to know if you both could co-exist in the same home no matter if you get to know someone for years.

    (0)
  13. Elle Bennett says:

    This is dating in the modern world. They made a good decision that worked for them.

    (0)
  14. Kay says:

    Laura couldn’t have responded better to Larry h. Well said! Britt was born an honest woman. I’m sure Kevin would attest to that. Congrats guys!

    (0)
  15. Vpprinces says:

    Ppl kill me saying “why buy the cow when the milk is free” as if cooking, cleaning, & sex are the only things a woman is good for. We are not cows. We are multifaceted humans. & Marriage since its beginning has been primarily about property. You don’t just gain a life partner you’re supposed to gain assets too. I guess only grown people still tryna make ends meet worried about “free milk”.

    (0)
  16. Tiny T says:

    I think this is a great story! I love seeing happy, healthy couples…especially black ones! I am old school so we waited until after marriage to move in and take up our husband/wife duties. So, I wouldn’t advise living with someone before marriage unless there was an extenuating circumstance, but every person sets their own relationship rules and I am glad that it worked out for them! There is no need for people to compare women to cows. As women, we all need to do our best to support other women in leading their lives the way they see fit.

    (0)
  17. My mama raised me so old-fashioned that this article makes me cringe…but to each his own. Congrats.

    (0)
  18. I think it’s a good idea. Why surprise yourself down the line. I did that and I’m glad we did

    (0)
    1. Edith Mendat says:

      Amen sister. .. a person true self pops up within a month of living together from drug abuse, to cleanliness

      (0)
  19. I think it’s right for some and wrong for others. Cohabitation isn’t marriage. But it may teach you how to live with someone else and be respectful.

    (0)
  20. That’s why there’s an engagement period– that’s when you see if it’s what you want (but there’s an implied commitment). People have turned it into the wedding planning time though.

    (0)
  21. We lived together before marriage, but the changes came AFTER the marriage. The disrespect, the abuse, the lying and cheating, the manipulation, the control and mind games…yeah. I don’t even want a relationship with anyone else because my first and only marriage has been a complete ripoff.

    (0)
  22. Not for me at all… but to each is own. Either respect your vows and individuality or keep dating my spiel.

    (0)
  23. everything ain’t for everybody. Know what works got you !

    (0)
  24. If they are young then why rush marriage? Ppl love rush things

    (0)
  25. I think every relationship is different and people have to do what works for them. The man might want to have his finances right, buy a house etc fully ready before asking her to be his wife. They both might have goals that they want to work on first. Also living with anyone does reveal the true person. There is no right or wrong answer, do what works for you. People got to be upfront and if something doesn’t work for you say it and it can avoid wasting time!!! I would hate to rush anyone to marry and end up divorced because they was not ready. Get everything out of your system and have all your affairs together.

    (0)
  26. Swan Johnson says:

    Good! And congrats! No one has to live their lives but them and no ones opinion matters, but theirs. Good luck to the both of them!

    (0)
  27. Rosa Parks says:

    I’m actually thinking of doing this. Living together before marriage to see if we can stand each other hehehe!

    (0)
  28. 7 years is a different story when you start off later in life… They met early in undergrad, as babies!

    (0)
  29. Daniedee says:

    Beautiful and Insightful! That proposal was everything too, thanks for sharing

    (0)
  30. Ms. Smith says:

    I understand that everyone has a preference, however, I believe that the only way to truly get to know someone and to make sure you both can co-exist under one roof is by living together.

    And congrats to them!! They are so cute together!!

    (-1)
  31. Shon Dunn says:

    This is awesome!!!! So after 7 years he realized that he couldn’t find another girl with low standards that who would happily lap up his bullsh*t and decided to go ahead and settle down with her! How romantic! Yay! So happy for them! You go girl!

    #teamnoselfesteem

    (-2)
    1. Níckà Vu says:

      Well like I said u don’t kno her this has nothing to do with low self esteem and as a grown woman u should be uplifting and congratulating but ur hating. Nothing about this article shows my cousin having low self esteem. It shows 2 intelligent young people goin to school and bettering the self to become one. GOOD DAY!

      (1)
    2. Níckà Vu says:

      But do u kno her? Did u read the article? Clearly not! they were in college went to grad school and are from 2 different states! He didn’t settle they waited until the time was right & she is perfect for him.

      (0)
    3. Shon Dunn says:

      I did read the article. 7 years is too long. There are married people in grad school. There are grad schools in New York.

      (0)
    4. Blazin says:

      Probably not a low self esteem issue. Just young and had goals. I think it’s good they waited and got married. 7 years is a long time to wait to get married if you start dating after finishing college not when you start dating your freshman year. I’m glad I waited until after grad school to get married.

      (0)
  32. Larry h says:

    Damn so he got the milk for free several times lol. Glad he made an honest woman out of her cause otherwise she would have looked very foolish

    (-12)
    1. Laura says:

      It’s about to be 2016, not 1916. I seriously doubt she would have looked foolish had they continued to live together or, worse, broken up. And a woman is not a cow, so what’s up with the tired free milk comparison? I won’t even engage in a discussion about making her an “honest woman”. Hope you get the drift that all of the above references are not only played out, but also incredibly sexist.

      (5)

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