JimDre Westbrook Is A 33-Year-Old Virgin Worth The Wait
If you thought that only women abstained from sex in an effort to wait for the one man to create their soul tie with, then you're in for a surprise!
JimDre Westbrook, aka "Worth The Wait Guy," has made national headlines for being a 30+ year old virgin. Women are searching high and low and swiping right trying to catch a man who meets their list of marriage material credentials: a tall, attractive, college-educated, Black man with a perfect smile. Oh, and not to mention someone who isn't in these streets adding to his body count. So how is it that a man like JimDre--who meets all of the above--has been able to abstain from sex in the prime of his life?
Let's just say that his unwavering faith and undeniable self-discipline has kept him from taking a dip into the pool of temptation.
At the age of 14, JimDre made a vow that he would honor his body until marriage, and attributes his personal and professional success to having Jesus on the mainline. Abstaining from sex hasn't meant that JimDre's life is perfect. After his 30th birthday, when he went public with his story and initially became the “Worth The Wait Guy," he was in a near-fatal car accident where he was hit by a drunk driver. It totaled his car, but he walked away with only a few scratches. Instead of wondering why the God he so faithfully served would allow that to happen, JimDre looked at the accident as a blessing. He believes that it was God telling him that he was on the right path.
Even his younger sister, Jae, believes that he's "worth the wait." Earlier this year, she reached out to us advocating for her big brother. "I watched [my brother] boldly proclaim to the world via Facebook that he was a virgin at the age of 30-years-old. As his little sister and best friend, I knew this all along and of course, fully supported his decision. He did what he felt was right and believes that God put us on earth to share our gifts. His actions were nothing new to me. He made a special vow to God at age 14 to remain a virgin until marriage. Growing up he always encouraged me to follow my dreams, be a leader and have the courage to go right when everyone else goes left."
Being “Worth The Wait Guy" and proclaiming his love for the Lord continues to open doors for JimDre, who's been a guest on The Steve Harvey Show, The Tom Joyner Morning Show as well as been featured in Essence, Ebony and Jet magazines, to name a few.
We admit to becoming a little curious as well! So we reached out to JimDre (not on the "Hotline Bling") to discuss the criticism that he's faced being a virgin with tattoos, why men look at sex as a sport, and to get some must-read insight as to why women need to stop settling for “Netflix and Chill."
From a young age those who grow up in the church or in religious families are taught that sinning is inevitable, but that if we repent and ask for forgiveness, GOD will still loves us. Do you feel that abstaining from sex brings you any closer to God than someone who engages in premarital sex?
I don't think because I'm a virgin and a Christian that I'm better than anyone else; I don't think that it makes me feel a different way than the normal or average Christian. But I do think it makes sure that I have a direct and present relationship with God, which I think is the most important thing if you're a believer. My relationship with him has been tied to my abstaining and waiting for my wife. That doesn't mean that I'm perfect, I'm still human. However, I believe my choice to not have sex makes my particular relationship stronger with Him.
In the Bible, Leviticus 19:28 says, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves." Are there people who think that you are being hypocritical for choosing to uphold some aspects of scripture and not others?
All my tattoos have meaning, and as mentioned, I'm not perfect. I made a personal choice to have tattoos that tell the story of my life. On my left side, I have a tat representing my fraternity, Kappa Alpha Psi and my alma mater, University of Michigan, as well as a cross to represent my relationship with God. I plan to finish my left side whenever I have a wife and kids. The tattoos on my right side tell the story of my success, the businesses that I own, and remind me of how far I've come.
I've definitely been approached by people who question if I'm really a virgin and a Christian because I have tattoos. Me being “Worth The Wait Guy" is me being the vessel to tell others it's cool to live at your own pace and keep God first. People always want to challenge me about it, but God has always been my foundation, it's an interesting dynamic.
I'm sure you're familiar with "Netflix and Chill" where there isn't any courtship, it's just men and women hanging out and engaging in sexual acts. Why do you think so many women are so willing to settle for short-term affection?
Women get frustrated, especially the good, quality women who don't want to settle, who have high respect and high regards for themselves. But they just aren't finding what they want and what they deserve. As time goes by and they aren't getting exactly what they feel they need, they choose to settle. These great women end up entertaining guys who oftentimes aren't on their level--who don't even deserve a 'hello' from them, but they're persistent. If we want something, we go for it. If a guy wants you, your conversation, your time, if he wants to be something to you, he's going to be very clear about his intentions.
I often hear women say that "all the good guys are taken," but can't help but to think that maybe they haven't done the work to figure out why they're continuously attracting the same type of man. A lot of women get complacent because they don't want to be alone so they start lowering their standards.
That's how you end up having so many short-term "hookups" where you're telling a guy to come through because you're frustrated with what your life looks like and you've gotten off track from waiting for the real prize.
You have to stay focused and have faith. That's one of the reasons why I can be a 31-year-old virgin, because I've never lost faith. Of course, there have been times when I say, 'God I'm still here, hope you haven't forgotten about me! You can bring 'her' to me whenever you want.' You're going to get down on yourself, and you may wonder why it's taking so long. But you have to wait on God.
He's always on time and he's going to deliver on his promises when you're ready!
You have to be ready for the specific things that you're asking God to give you. And you have to ask yourself, what are you really doing with your life to get ready to receive what you're asking for?
To your understanding, why do guys feel the need to have sex with so many women and compare body counts? Why is sex such a sport for men?
Not to say that women aren't competitive, but men are competitive about everything. Most of us played sports growing up where we we're taught to be better than the next man. From birth we learn that in playing a game the objective is to get somewhere before the next person. As it pertains to women, a lot of men look at it like it's a game, and if the objective is to be “the man," how can I do that if I only have one girl? The more women you're involved with means the more “game" you have. It gives you leverage and it means you have options. It also makes some men feel like they're an “expert" when it comes to women because they've been with so many.
I, on the other hand, don't look at it like that. It's not hard to engage women in conversations and date multiple women; the challenge is trying to put all of that time and effort into one woman because now you're dealing with real feelings. You're getting into what most men don't want to deal with because when you're playing all of these games and juggling all these women, there isn't any depth to that.
Sex is oftentimes just competition with men to one up our friends.
It's just a pressure that's been placed on us from a young age but if you don't buy into that and you live at your own pace then you're okay with your one girlfriend and not out chasing multiple women. Choose to make that decision for yourself then you don't have to do what everyone else is doing.
It seems easier said than done to abstain from sex once you've been sexually active. What advice do you have for women, or even young men, who have been sexually active but want to figure out how to begin abstaining?
Pray about it. If you believe in God you have to take this to Him because if you try to figure it out by yourself, it's just not gonna happen. Be open, honest and transparent about your intentions. If a man wants to give up and abstain from sex, he has to pray for guidance and discipline, then he'll get the love and support he needs from God. Whether or not you go to church, you can always pray. Then you have to make changes in your everyday life. If you spent your free time engaging in sexual activity now you need to figure out something constructive to do with your time. Whether it's going to the gym, taking a class, doing community service, whatever. You need a plan so you're not idle and you can remain steadfast and faithful to your goal.
You're the co-owner of a clothing line, LAYOP (Live At Your Own Pace). There's always been unwritten rules about what you should have accomplished at a particular age, and social media adds to those pressures. Can you speak to how we can "Live At [Our] Own Pace" without seeming less ambitious or less accomplished as our peers?
Live At Your Own Pace clothing is about doing what makes you happy in life. Growing up we're told, that we're supposed to graduate college at 22, have the perfect job by 25, get married by 28 and have all of your kids by 32 everyone paints that picture of how life is supposed to happen if you want to win. The LAYOP movement is rooted in the story of the tortoise and the hare. You may not get where you want as fast as your peers or as fast as your parents want you to get there, but all that matters is that you're living a happy life. If you live at your own pace, you're going to win.
What are some of your go-to scriptures that have helped you throughout your celibacy?
Romans 12:1-2 talks about keeping your body pure in God's perfect and pleasing will, not conforming to the world because your body is a living and holy sacrifice. I've sacrificed my body by not having sex and giving that to God because that's his perfect and pleasing will. Again, I'm not perfect, but the type of relationship I have with God I want to keep that as pure as I can.
At times, we're all going to miss the mark, but I'm the “Worth The Wait Guy" because I know God is worth the wait, and I want Him to always know that.
It's one of those scriptures that's helped me to maintain the path that I've been walking on. Now if abstinence or celibacy isn't necessarily for you and you just need a verse to uplift you, Proverbs 3:5-6: 'Trust in the Lord with everything you do and do not to lean into your own understanding. Acknowledge Him and He'll direct your path." Those verses apply to your everyday life. It doesn't matter what you're doing, God should always be present. If He's with you, you can't lose.
You can learn more about JimDre by visiting his website Worththewaitguy.com
Update: It's been two years since we first featured JimDre and he is still walking in celibacy. He recently posted on Instagram:
When I had the pleasure to share my story with @xonecole two years ago to this day. A lot has changed since this day. I'm way closer to God, my celibacy walk has strengthened, my divine purpose has realized and I even grew a decent beard. The wait is real and I'm still waiting for Him, y'all.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Growing up in Brooklyn, New York, Caribbean culture has always been all around me, from the food to the dancehall and soca music to traditions carried out by all of the Caribbean people living in the city. As a youngin, I loved attending the West Indian Day Parade every September because the floats, steel drums, extravagant feathers, and upbeat music made me feel free and gave me a deeper appreciation for the culture.
As I got older, I learned that the yearly Carnivals happening across the Caribbean put NYC’s little festivities to shame. Traveling to the islands themselves and experiencing the people and culture first-hand really gives you a deeper understanding and appreciation for Caribbean culture.
The history of Carnival celebrations in the Caribbean can be traced back to enslaved people who were forbidden from participating in the Pre-Lenten celebrations and thus created their own celebrations and traditions, which over time developed into celebrations of freedom and rebellion. Each country in the Caribbean has its own unique history of celebrations, as well as its own Carnival traditions that set it apart from other festivities.
What started as a Pre-Lenten celebration is now celebrated during a range of months throughout the year and now attracts hundreds of people from all over the world. Here are six carnivals that you should go to this year to experience this culture for yourself.
Crop Over - Barbados Carnival
Crop Over Dates: July 31, 2024 - August 6, 2024
What better place to celebrate carnival than the home of our Bajan Queen Rihanna? While some festivities start as early as May, the official festival season in Barbados starts in July and ends in early August. Crop Over originally started as a way for plantation workers to celebrate the end of the sugarcane harvest season and has now evolved into a much larger celebration. Crop Over is a blend of both old and new traditions, such as the Ceremonial Delivery of the Last Canes, and Cohobblopot, where bands show off their beautiful costumes and play soca and calypso music.
All of the week's festivities culminate with the Grand Kadooment, Crop Over’s big parade featuring all of the bands and droves of people taking to the streets in their beautiful costumes and dancing to the local music.
Other things to do: Visit Hunte’s Garden in Joseph’s Parish and find peace in the picturesque garden while spotting an array of different birds and animals. If you’re looking for beach relaxation, spend a day at Carlisle Bay, the perfect beach for swimming, taking in some sun, and a possible turtle sighting.
Saint Thomas Carnival
Saint Thomas Carnival Dates: April 28, 2024 - May 5, 2024
No passport? That won’t be a problem for U.S. travelers looking to get in on the carnival experience. Saint Thomas, one of the three U.S. Virgin Islands, is known for its crystal clear beaches, scuba diving scene, and overall vibrant culture. The island celebrates its carnival in late April and features a dynamic lineup of events including colorful adult and kiddie parades, calypso competitions, and street parties. Virgin Islanders are known to love to party, so make sure to fill up before the festivities with some local favorites like johnny cakes, callaloo, and conch fritters.
With its rich cultural heritage and lively atmosphere, this is a carnival experience perfect for a first-timer who wants to ease their way into the lifestyle.
Other things to do: Visit one of Saint Thomas’ many turquoise blue beaches such as Coki, Magens Bay, Brewers Bay, or Lindquist Beach. Coki Beach is perfect if you're looking for a more lively experience and want to snorkel without swimming far out, and Brewers Bay is best known for the sea turtles that you can see from the sand. You can also take a short ferry over to Saint John, another of the Virgin Islands, and spend a day at Lime Out, a floating taco and margarita bar.
Spicemas - Grenada Carnival
Courtesy of Grenada Tourism Authority
Spicemas Dates: August 7, 2024 - August 14, 2024
Grenada, also known as the Spice Isle due to its production of a variety of spices, has one of the most anticipated carnivals every year. During Spicemas, revelers hit the streets for lively music, paint, oil, dancing, and good times. One of the most important aspects of Spicemas is Jab Jab, a celebration that involves covering one's body in black oil or paint. This tradition started as a post-emancipation masquerade, in which former enslaved Africans would paint themselves black emulating a “Jab” derived from the French word diable, which means devil.
This was a way of mocking their former masters and also represented rebellion and freedom. Since then, the tradition has evolved into a staple of Carnival on J’ouvert morning, a celebration of freedom, and undoubtedly an element that makes Grenada stand out from other Carnivals across the diaspora. Outside of J’ouvert, Spicemas is a beautiful culmination of colorful and vibrant costumes, steel band competitions, delicious rum, and music that you’ll dance to all night.
Grenada is celebrating 50 years of independence this year, so just know that Spicemas is going to be extra special!
Other things to do: For the ocean lovers, the Molinere Bay Underwater Sculpture Park is a must-see attraction. It is the world's first underwater sculpture park and a popular excursion for folks visiting the island. This year, five new installations are being added to the park, which can all be viewed through snorkeling, diving, or a glass bottom boat ride.
Antigua Carnival
Antigua Carnival Dates: July 31, 2024 - August 7, 2024
Every August, carnival lovers flock to the beautiful island of Antigua for its annual carnival festival. First celebrated in 1957, Antigua’s Carnival started as a celebration of emancipation from slavery and has since expanded into a dynamic showcase of local talent, music, and cultural pride. Some events to look forward to are the Party Monarch and Calypso Monarch competitions, as well as the Caribbean Queen’s Competition.
Antigua Carnival is an almost two-week extravaganza that leads into J’ouvert on Carnival Monday and the main parade on Carnival Tuesday. If you love good music, vibrant costumes, and delicious food, this is the carnival for you.
Other things to do: Take a trip to Shirley Heights Lookout for live music and breathtaking panoramic views of the coastline and ocean. And with 365 beaches in total, you’d be missing out if you didn’t fit in a few on your itinerary.
Bermuda Carnival
Bermuda Carnival Dates: June 12, 2024 - June 17, 2024
Also known as Heroes Weekend, Bermuda Carnival may be smaller than some of the other carnivals, but is still a great time. Bermuda is one of the newer carnivals, originating in 2015. Celebrated in June, this long weekend of festivities draws inspiration from other popular carnivals while also highlighting elements of Bermudian culture. You can expect some similar elements as other countries such as daily fetes, soca music, and a parade filled with different bands and extravagant costumes.
They also celebrate Bermuda’s National Heroes during carnival with a national feast. Bermudians have immense pride in their country and culture, and their carnival is the biggest celebration of the year that you don’t want to miss.
Other things to do: Take a day trip to Crystal and Fantasy Caves, beautiful caves formed over millions of years that you can take tours of. Spend a few hours taking in these beautiful natural wonders and seeing some of the formations and underground pools.
Saint Lucia Carnival
Saint Lucia Carnival Dates: July 10, 2024 - July 17, 2024
Home to some of the most beautiful mountains and beaches in the Caribbean, Saint Lucia has the perfect backdrop for an unforgettable carnival experience. Saint Lucia Carnival didn’t take flight until the late 1940s but has grown into a favorite for both novice and seasoned masqueraders. Formerly held in February, this carnival now kicks off in July which allows it not to compete with the highly revered Trinidadian carnival that also happens at that time. Saint Lucia’s Carnival has grown in popularity over the years because of the lively music, delicious food, and turned-up fetes.
One of the highlights is the Parade of the Bands, where masqueraders adorned in elaborate costumes dance through the streets to the rhythms of soca, calypso, and steelpan music. The best way to prepare for the Saint Lucia Carnival is to stay hydrated and well-fed so that you can thoroughly enjoy the plethora of events and parties happening from early morning to nightfall.
Other things to do:The Pitons, Gros Piton and Petit Piton are a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the main attractions in Saint Lucia. Take a hike of Gros Piton or just marvel at its natural beauty. If you're there on a Friday night, stop by the weekly Gros Islet Street Party, which is filled with music, drinks, and local food.
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Featured image courtesy of Grenada Tourism Authority