Period Sex Is Not A Turn-Off
I know, I know, I know. I can only guess where your minds are after reading this title – somewhere between interested and not in a million years, disgust palpable, at the very next exit – two extremes not at all unique to the subject at hand. There's something very taboo about a crimson dick.
For whatever reason, there has been a large degree of social stigma affiliated with something naturally occurring within our bodies as women. Periods are perceived to be a "no sex zone", off limits, do not pass go, exit stage right moment on a month to month basis for four to six days, 12 months out of the year (the schedule varies for those who are irregular or on contraceptives intended to stop or regulate monthly cycles).
I've only ever heard what was wrong about periods. What made it a nuisance, what made it painful, what made it stressful, what made it barren -- empty. It is very rare that it is flipped on its head to be appreciated for what it is. By definition, it's feminine nature, and therefore it's power. It's one of those undeniable things that make you a woman, a giver of life, a creator of life. A period symbolizes that capability and is a reminder of what your womb space and canal are purposed for. That in itself is beautiful. As an extension of me and my womanhood, why couldn't it be sexy?
The tides turned and the floodgates finally opened one night a few years into my sex life where I was honest with myself and my inner desires. During ovulation, hormones within the body are believed to be at their highest, but many women (including me) also find themselves feeling heightened in their libido. There was something about being forced to refrain from sex that made me want it more, period or no period.
I tried it.
I liked it.
And though I will be very honest and say that it is not as seamless a routine as mundane sex, it can be just as primal, intimate, and -- well -- sexy.
The conversation that led me to giving it a try was relatively easy, especially because I was inebriated and with a partner who held the philosophy of “A period doesn't stop nothing but a sentence." When I dropped my ideals and adopted his, the sex flowed, no pun intended. We put down a towel, grabbed a condom (because don't be fooled, you can get pregnant while on your period, uterine lining shedding or not), and I was able to try it out without my overthinking getting in the way of what I was feeling. And it was awesome!
I've found that not only am I more sensitive and more aroused at this time, but around day three or four of my cycle, the amount of blood down there is very minimal, especially when excited. Use a shower as your love-making setting of choice to help with the clean up efforts post-coitus. The positions you choose can also be a help to alleviate the presence of your period during sex. I've found that missionary is easiest because the level of depth can be controlled a lot better. Doggy style and other positions where depth reigns truest should be avoided at the start of the period but can be worked in as the flow becomes lighter later on in the cycle.
If blood doesn't bother you much, by all means, let it go, let it flow.
My a-ha moment with how I felt about period sex led me to wondering how others outside of me viewed period sex. I expected to hear a lot more hell no's but was pleasantly surprised at the thoughts that unfolded…
“I have no issue having sex with a woman on her period, I've done it a lot actually. From my experience, my woman is extremely horny during that time anyway, and as a man who loves sex, who am I to deny her? It's not nearly as bad as people imagine it to be." – Jason R.
“I have before. And it was really good. However, I was also drunk. But I can't say I'm against it. The mindset usually is period means 'no sex'. Learning exactly what a period is actually helped me to appreciate a woman's body." – Stephen G.
“Period sex isn't bad. If you're horny, you're horny. Put a towel down and get it to it. It's just a confirmation that I'm not pregnant. It works best in relationship though. When you're in a relationship you've kinda already passed all the boundaries of trying to be cute all the time. Plus, sometimes I get super horny on my period and just want it. So who would turn down free sex especially when it helps with my cramps and my mood? Win win." – Shantell H.
“I think period sex is fine. I don't really see a big deal with it. But personally, I wouldn't do it. I'm self conscious enough as it is and I'm not ready for it." – Anna P.
“I can't see myself having sex on a period…I like foreplay too much maybe more than sex itself and not to be able to get it because Mother Nature wants to interfere, sex isn't as enjoyable for me if no foreplay is involved." – Shannon C.
“I'm cool with it. I haven't done it often, but it was always a good experience when it happened. I've never thought that a period was something that should prevent you from sharing your love. It's human, it's womanly, it's real." – Jaden A.
“Period sex is a part of life for all but some people indulge. I've indulged before. I've had protected and unprotected sex with a woman on her cycle but during the last day and maybe the first. It's not something I aim to do, but it's definitely something I'm conscious of." – Neilson B.
How do you feel about period sex? Share with me below!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The Power Of Choosing Herself: Sienna Brown's Path From Event Planning To Beauty Branding
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
Before Sienna Brown, founder of Glosshood, took a leap of faith to leave her corporate career, she knew, in her body, that it was time for a change.
“I was working as an event planner, and I was just so sick of it,” she tells xoNecole. “I decided I didn't want to be there anymore — I didn’t want to live my life like this. My body just felt it. I was getting hives all over, I was so stressed; I would be crying all the time.”
As a means to explore her newfound freedom from a corporate life, Brown began dabbling in various video-based projects, from music and social justice. However, her true passion was to create a beauty brand that aimed to reconnect with her inner child.
“I made a promise to myself — and I wrote this in my resignation letter, actually — that I would always choose myself,” she reflects. “Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
As a first-generation Jamaican-American, Brown found herself crossed between strict cultural norms towards makeup and her own desire to explore the glamour of coming-of-age traditions. “If you know anything about Jamaican or Caribbean parents, you know they're very strict about makeup and ‘coming of age type things,’” she shares.
Courtesy
“I made a promise to myself that I would always choose myself. Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again, and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
For her, lip gloss wasn’t just a product, it was a rite of passage into becoming the woman she’d ultimately be. “Luckily, my parents were pretty open to letting me wear nail polish and stuff like that, but when it came to makeup, my parents, my dad especially, was like, absolutely not.”
Soon, the beauty supply store became Brown’s playground and the foundation for a product that would make her mark on the beauty industry years down the line.
“When I was creating Glosshood, I thought, What's the thing that can always make you feel beautiful?” she says. “Anytime you just want that extra little oomph in your life, you just put on some lip gloss, and you're like, okay, I feel better.”
Going into her 4th year, the Sephora Accelerator Grant recipient and beauty ItGirl is determined to be “the biggest beauty brand in the world,” trusting that everything she envisions will fall into place. “I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and he would put everything in place for me.”
And she’s doing just that, one lip gloss at a time.
Sienna Brown on what it means to be an ItGirl:
“Being an ItGirl means finding solutions — and not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I cannot tell you the amount of times people have told me no. And I've been like, what do I do now? But one thing that always keeps me going is thinking about where I started. Being an ItGirl is like a form of constantly affirming yourself because nobody believes in you the way that you're going to believe in you.
"So when people see you coming out, and you know, being proud of what you're putting out into the world, people want to be a part of that, and people want to support you, but you have to give them things to support. That's what being an ItGirl is to me.”
On navigating struggles and challenges in her career journey:
“When I was first starting my company, and even today, I'm a very scrappy person. I didn’t have the money to pay someone right out; it became a thing of capital. And that's something that I find a lot of founders have to overcome very early on. You're doing what you can with what you have and that's my number one advice to people: start where you're at; do what you can with what you have. You can do a lot more than you think, especially if you're willing to teach yourself. Overcome the idea of, ‘I don't have the money to do it,’ — it’s about getting scrappy and really being devoted to learning and teaching yourself.”
On the advice she would you give young women who desire to make their mark:
“I think the number one thing is to be yourself. Who I am with my parents is who I am with my friends. Who I am with my friends is who I am with you right now. I am fully myself. One thing that I will always pride myself on is that I never know everything. I learned so much stuff day in and day out, and while I'm learning, I still don't know everything.
"Be willing to change things. Do not be married to the ideas or the things that come up or pop up along the journey. Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens.”
"Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens."
Courtesy
On what excites her about the future of Glosshood:
“I'm excited for it to be the biggest beauty brand in the world. It sounds absolutely insane saying it because it's like, how are you going to do that? But I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and He would put everything in place for me. He would align my steps for me.
“It’s about being the most faithful version of myself. Everyone's looking at me like Sienna, you're crazy. And I'm like, well: it's crazy until it's not. I cannot wait to have the entire world experiencing their inner child in real-time through beauty.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image courtesy