Why One Mother Is Embracing Her Stretch Marks Through A Series of 'Provocative' Photos
There's nothing I love to see more than a mother living comfortably in the body she's in after giving birth to a child. Regardless of how long a woman's carried, we've all gone through the same adventures of having our skin stretched, our thighs enlarged and our breasts gone up a cup size (or two). But those shared experiences oftentimes lead to a division once children arrive when some mothers are fortunate enough to go back to their pre-baby body.
In an age where many find a need to share their journey of motherhood on the 'net, conversations on snapbacks aren't unfamiliar, but make many women uncomfortable. While plenty will argue that the discomfort lies in personal insecurities about one's body, others believe that posting photos of a tighter tummy and slimmer mommy that garners hundreds of thousands of likes, fosters the belief that that is an ideal body for mothers. But what happens when you post photos that are a striking reality of the everyday mom that isn't a celebrity?
Ask Aussie mom and blogger, Haddas Ancliffe, who is igniting conversations on self-acceptance of the body, following childbirth. Her Instagram account is like any other–a collection of intimate moments with family, fashion pieces, and vacation spots–but what stands out the most on Ancliffe's page are the pictures of her alone and in her skin. Instead of advertising two-piece bikinis and brands like a sponsored post, the new mom proudly displays her “stretch marks and imbalanced breasts" along with her stomach's loose skin in a series of photos that are accompanied by empowering captions on her postpartum body.“I have bad days you know... Days where I look at myself and think, I'll never look like girls on Instagram in their calvins with amazing figures and smooth flat tummies. But I don't have days anymore where I want to tear off my skin or cry at my reflection. Gone are the days where I'd refuse to go out if I thought I looked bad or get mad at anyone who would compliment me. NOW most of my days I look at myself and I'm happy. My body isn't where I'd like it to be health/strength wise, my skin sees pimples daily and my hair is mostly in a frizzy bun but I'm beautiful none the less! I'm one of God's creations which in itself means I am beautiful, glorious even. I want to be real with everyone that's why I'm saying this, so you know I don't just have 100% confidence and no flaws. I am flawed, I'm not always confident but I am living and breathing and full of love so I have no reason to be down on myself. Same goes for all of you, whether you're a mommy or not, if you're alive you are nothing short of beautiful. #mycalvins P.S these bras are so good for breastfeeding."
Calling her photos “a different kind of provocative," Haddas leaves honest thoughts on her experience, one that doesn't just relate to new mothers who are attempting to come to terms with their new bodies, but women as a whole. And they're very inspiring, to say the least. She wrote in the caption of another photo:
Images of young women in bikinis flood our Instagram feeds daily. Sexual, near naked, provocative pictures that get a lot of attention and make other women who don't look the same feel inadequate. Well here's a different kind of provocative image for your feed. An image that says, my body is stretched, sagging and uneven but I'm still attractive. You don't stop looking good in a bikini once you have kids, you just look like a different kind of good. When your body no longer looks like the Instagram bikini model and you have a mom bod, be proud! Put on your bikini and belly chain, do your best Kylie Jenner in the pool pose and be proud that your child thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world... That's all that matters anyway. #motherhood
What the Australian mother is doing aside from being candid about her journey, is shifting the narrative on women who don't fit the “perfect body" criteria. Campaigns from companies that cater to women have already assisted with promoting body diversity and positivity, and Ebony magazine has already cultivated a much-needed conversation on redefining beauty with their “Body Brigade" issue. Society still has a long way to go, but what matters most is how we as women feel about the bodies before us in mirrors. Ancliffe is saying and sharing what most won't and has found approval within herself–a life lesson to anyone who struggles with the skin they're in.
What are your thoughts on Haddas' bold move to share her postpartum body for the world? Let us know below.
Featured image via Dahs/Instagram
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage